SRS Confidence or Insecurity

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Roxas, Jul 13, 2007.

  1. Roxas

    Roxas New Member

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    Ok after evaluating myself on dating women or just approaching them in general I came to realize that it seems I will only talk to those that seem like they will talk to me.

    I suck at explaining these types of things so I will give an example of what I am talkin about.

    Two weeks ago there was a game tournament that I attended for a basketball game that I like so I attended. I lost so I went to stand outside to talk with some of my friends and I noticed a "nice looking female" (to my interests anyway) just sitting outside a store along.

    Now I am far from a pretty boy and I am pretty insecure about my looks. She was looking my way and smiling, naturally with my mentality I assumed she was looking at someone else OR laughing at me.

    She walks away from where she was sittin and came over to me and said:

    Her: Why are you punching the air?
    Me: I lost.
    Her: Lost what, where did you drop it?
    Me: No, lost the tournament? I made it to final four but he beat me and I was a lil upset I guess.
    Her: So what's your name?

    At this point I am curious why she is talking to me. Not the first time I have talked to a pretty girl but one "rarely" walks up to me and just starts talking to me let alone ask my name!

    At that point I just tell her my name, get her name, and make up an excuse to get away ( which she didn't know I was doing) and leave to go home.

    I know I have the means to just walk up to a girl and talk to her and start "something". But it seems that every time a girl walks up to me and tries to talk to me, I avoid her like she is the plague.

    Am I even confident or am I really insecure about myself?

    Any type of feedback would be helpful :)
    And sorry if this post is stupid confusing.
     
  2. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    i have the same problem and i'd say it's insecurity, from fears of eventually screwing up the convo so that she gets bored of you. if you leave while you're at your peak, you'll feel better, but of course you're leaving alone...
     
  3. Roxas

    Roxas New Member

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    Yea that's what I pretty much figured. Do you just keep trying and eventually you will feel comfortable talking like that?
     
  4. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Yeah.
    I found it may be hard to distinguish between wether you are scared or just not interested at first, but just do it regardless in the beginning and you'll see the difference soon enough.

    Like, indulge yourself!
     
  5. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    insecurity attacks confidence. being confidence wins you everything! when talking to women, you have to have the mentality of knowing that you could have any women you want but with that, you have to learn how to have confidence. what makes you think pretty girls date ugly guys and cute guys date not so good looking girls. when talking to women, you need to know what you're talking about, don't babble. being able to carry a conversation about something intellectual or funny, it shows women that you don't have insecurity, you know what you're talking about, meaning, you know what you want. practice talking to women you know you're comfortable with, and it'll also help you gain confidence, but don't get cocky!
     

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