SRS Confidence boosters?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 97_ESi, May 10, 2007.

  1. 97_ESi

    97_ESi New Member

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    How do you guys/gals raise your confidence? I've always had pretty low confidence in myself. The beginning of the year started good though, started building it up and feeling good about myself. Then it seems everytime I build it up, someone makes a comment to bring me down again.

    I know I'm not hot by any means but definetly don't consider myself ugly. Got lots of friends. Never had a g/f....no girls ever seem interested. Not even the drunk girls...:rofl: Got a good personality (IMO) and usually have good relationships with people (IE: girls friendzone me cuz I'm a good listener...ooops!) Good family too.

    So what do you guys do to build your confidence? Every time I work out and feel good about myself, someone throws out a comment and makes me feel like shit :( I rarely ever get a compliment about anything about myself.

    I love my life...no complaints there, I'm generally happy - having confidence would help the happiness alot though.

    (PS: I'm one of those people if I see someone laughing and make eye contact with them, assume they are laughing at me)
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2007
  2. Ivan

    Ivan New Member

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    I also have pretty low confidence on myself for somethings, but for others I feel otherwise. It's kinda hard to explain, I suppose these things are different for everyone.

    I can't give you any definite answer. I'm young myself so I lack experience in a lot of things. I think it's something you'll have to find for yourself. If you love your life, are generally happy and know that you don't have a bad personality, that's a good start. Just don't be too hard on yourself. You can't expect to do things right all the time, and you can't expect everybody to like you either.

    By the way, if you never had a girlfriend, don't worry. It's better that it comes late with the right person than very soon with tons of women that could get your confidence drop to the floor when things do not work as you expected.

    The rotten apples usually fall off the tree first. The good ones are at the top, and only the right persons will bother to reach those. Judging by your way of talking, you could easily reach one the less expected day.
     
  3. Vic Mackey

    Vic Mackey New Member

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    Personally, I ignore the people who can't say anything nice to me. I've come to the realization that some people only feel good when they are putting others down. I know it's easier said then done, but try not to think about what they say. Focus on your strong points; the things that make you you.

    I think too that confidence is something that grows with age. As you grow into yourself, so to speak, your confidence level goes up.
     
  4. glass

    glass New Member

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    - you're probably not working out hard enough. after a good session at the gym you should feel like you could kill a camel with your bare hands. heavier weights, fewer reps?

    - do more things than just work out. everyone works out, jesus. learn an instrument, how to dance, how to paint, etc.. anything you see as both (1) worthwhile and (2) difficult. spend money if you must.

    - get a good job. material independence really helps.

    - don't show off. quiet confidence is the best kind. the fact that you're not showing off will also boost your confidence.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Give yourself credit for your victories.

    I learned that in the past I was way too hard on myself. I would get down when I didn't perform up to my standards.

    But on the flipside, I never gave myself credit for my accomplishments. When I would do something good, I would think "yeah but I have the ability, so its no big deal that I succeeded."

    It IS a big deal.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    To pay for attention?
     
  7. 97_ESi

    97_ESi New Member

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    Thanks for the advice/insight guys :h5: It's appreciated...

    My biggest problem is I try and please everyone. Since I just changed from Engineering to Finance it seemed like everyone (even friends' parents) are/were upset with me....felt like I let them down. That took a stab at my confidence too.

    No to the strip club. The one here is very raunchy hahah....wouldn't be a good confidence booster :rofl:
     
  8. Nanook

    Nanook New Member

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    You have to look out for yourself first and foremost, because no on else will. They can all be "armchair quarterbacks" or "backseat drivers" about your life, but ultimately YOU have to live with YOURSELF everyday, not them.

    You obviously made the decision to switch from engineering to finance for a reason, don't second guess yourself now.
     
  9. BStark

    BStark Well looky here. OT Supporter

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    What you have to realize is this: At the end of the day, when you're alone and about to fall asleep, you have to wake up and look at yourself. You should live for you, and live how YOU want to live. If you feel like you try and please everyone else, then you already know the problem. Just do what pleases you, as long as it's legal.

    You have to accept that people are gonna be dissappointed in decisions you make. Not everyone wants what you want, but that goes back to living for you.

    I have a motto or a saying that I try to live by. It's very simple, very easy to remember. I hope it helps you:

    "Fuck 'em if they don't like it."

    Good luck.
     
  10. HatSee

    HatSee Active Member

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    I'm kind of realizing this about myself as well. I'm incredibly hard on myself, and yet even when I do live up to my expectations I don't even give myself credit at all.

    I'm finding it hard to change this one though, really hard. :hsd:
     
  11. HipHopHead

    HipHopHead Well-Known Member

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    Alcohol. :o
     
  12. 97_ESi

    97_ESi New Member

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    I'm in the same boat. And usually I do use alcohol as a 'confidence' booster. Though it might work short term, the next morning I just wake up depressed :(

    Thanks for the motto BStark....I really should live by it - I guess I just care too much about family/friends/and everybodies opinion of me :(

    Thanks again guys :h5: Slowly but surely I get more confidence....Hopefully this thread helps others too :)
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    If there's one thing i don't lack in life its confidence, simply going into kamikaze mode and stick your hands into the fire for what you stand for. Don't care about the outcome , you see nothing can grow from fear, winning or losing doesn't matter, its the positive course that you set in your life for the long term that matters.

    We don't do daring things because we are afraid to lose what we have, well baby you didn't have that girl to begin with so what do you have to lose by asking her out? zero, you already have no , you might get yes.

    And this counts with all things in life, its a win win situation , and if you get rejected then you can say to yourself 'at least i tried' compared to ' i did nothing' , you always miss if you never shoot. So that's why i never lack confidence because im always willing to give it a shot.

    Sometimes when you see this wonderfull beautifull person you'd be like so overwelmed that you wouldn't ask that person out, but your only overwelmed because you care, now if you didn't care in your mind about it, then it becomes of as much value as a trashcan, things in life are only worth as much as the value that you attach to it yourself.

    So don't care on that temporarily loss or win, its far more important what course you set for your life, there's basically only 3 directions in life, you can go down the drain where death lies, you can stay where you are and go in circles, and you can go up and progress in your life, the first 2 directions are worthless, so you never have to bother going those ways, only the last course of self improvement is the course that you set for yourself.

    Then you can always go for gold in your life.
     
  14. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    My confidence booster is a new pair of high heels.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Are we talking about chemical confidence boosting in this thread?
     
  16. 97_ESi

    97_ESi New Member

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    If you want.


    Definitly had a 'few' drinks last night. Good times. Lots of sleep seems to help my overal mood which reaaally can change confidence.
     
  17. edwin23

    edwin23 New Member

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    live for yourself not for others
     
  18. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Like other say, working out and doing a good job does wonders for your confidense. Believe in yourself, ignore the negative comments and remember the good ones.

    Also I also found that old saying, doing one thing you're afraid of each day, is a good guideline to building confidense.
     
  19. ///

    /// Born and raised in Ohio

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    i was a short shy skinny guy until grade 11

    boxing + working out like a madman = alot of confidence


    so thats my advice, boxing and weights
     
  20. egxflash

    egxflash Riding on the Midship Express

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    with working out and looking good, you can also try getting a sales job. I work as an operations supervisor at night but to kill time in the daytime, i took a retail sales job, and oh my god, the girls that go in there are so off the hook. and those sales jobs pay you to bullshit with people so you tend to just yak yak yak and lose your timidness.


    ...i just got this uber-cute girl's number today and im by no means the smooth player type. just said hi as she passed by and struck up a conversation.
     

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