LGBT Completely Lost

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Ecolecua, May 13, 2004.

  1. Ecolecua

    Ecolecua Guest

    I'd think this belong in the Asylum but it has to do purely with my sexuality, which I'm completely torn between straight and gay, I'm 16 (Male) and "technically" am still in a long distance relation with my gf (To whom I lost my virginity to) but ever since sex was on the mind it has always been both sexes. I've tried to live with just claiming Bi but lately I feel that I'm being torn between the two. I recently came out to my father about my feelings (Convo went fine, he accepts me and loves me as his son), but still hasn't changed how I feel. I know this prolly sounds petty because I am in an age where I'm still "Discovering myself" (As I've been told) but it's really beggining to be bothersome, any advice/opinions/etc.? Thank you for your time :sadwavey:
     
  2. Sonic

    Sonic Live every day to the fullest, for yesterday is go

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    Enjoy both sides, no one says that you ever have to choose.:dunno:
     
  3. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    I think this is one of those things that just takes time to sort itself out. At your age, I was in denial myself, but by the time I got to college I was certain I was gay. Girls never turned me on. Of course I could appreciate a good looking girl, but to me that was sorta like looking at art, I was enjoying an aesthetic. Guys, however, got me hard (for lack of a better description), and that's was the bottom line in my understanding I was gay. I'm still in the closet for now, but it's gotten easier to deal with since I was 16. I'm 22 and I still haven't gotten everything figured out yet. However this turns out, just make sure you're happy, because you're the one who's gonna have to live with the results, not anyone else. It's a process, and even though I'm not entirely through it myself, I know it takes time to cope with. Good luck, I wish you nothing but the best in your journey! Read this thread if you haven't. There's some good advice in it on what to expect http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1013043
     
  4. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    :wiggle: This is what I was thinking.

    You don't have to be either or. You can like both. Although I don't really know how this works for relationships--I never understood it.

    The sooner you're honest with yourself, the quicker you'll be content. It's good that you have your dad for support. A lot of us didn't/don't get that--you're very lucky.

    Just keep your head high. :)
     
  5. Ecolecua

    Ecolecua Guest

    *Reads the replies*
    I read that thread Cedric gave me alot of new insight, thanks. But Yeah that's what's killing me though is the free time I have. Long story short I've just gone through a rough phase in my life, which has left me heart broken, confused, and now lost trying to build some roots, I'm still pretty devestated from when I found out my Dad was not biological but it was a huge relief to talk to him like I did and he still loves me as his blood but if only my problems and worries stopped there. I just wish I had a true and good friend always by my side to talk about my problems. I'd apreciated it any of you would like to contact me over messenger because I'm really lacking someone to talk to in a time where I feel no hope and only lonelyness (If so PM me)
     
  6. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    eco, i always have an open ear if you ever want to talk. You should be very thankful to have a father who does accept you 100%. Don't let it get to you. You're 16, have your whole life ahead. Enjoy the rest of high school, be excited for college, and look towards the future. It'll only get better i promise! :)
     
  7. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    God, I wish I had been as far along as you are when I was going through my sexual identity search.

    At 16, I was still praying to God to make me straight (literally!).

    You should feel lucky and proud that you are as advanced in your self-enlightenment at 16. Don't stress so much about it and have some fun. Sit back and enjoy the world.

    Wow. Impressive how gays and lesbians are coming out earlier and earlier. So wonderful.
     
  8. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    eco,

    I think that so far, you've gotten some excellent advice here.

    In my opinion, try and take things slowly. You're still quite young and the feelings that you're having are normal. At this point, you're confused about who you are etc. Take the time to explore. Try and be patient with yourself in giving yourself that time to explore.

    Allowing yourself to "self-explore" is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

    At this point, you may be straight, you may be bisexual, you may be gay. Nobody can tell you that you are one over the other...not even you. So, explore both sides of the fence (well....it sounds like you already explored one side :) ), but if possible, try and explore the other side. You may find that it is something you like, and that it is who you are, or you may totally dislike it, and gradually realize that you are 100% heterosexual. Or you may like it just as much as you like sex with girls and realize that you're truly bisexual. If you don't give yourself that chance to explore, you may never know, and you could end up making decisions that could be the wrong ones, and ones that you may end up having to live with the rest of your life.

    For me personally, I dated girls, but never had sex with them. In a lot of ways, I was like cedric...I admired a beautiful female - from an artistic sense, but not a sexual/emotional sense. The thought of guys always made me hard.

    I could jerk off to the thought of women, but I had to really work at it. My natural tendency was to jerk off to the thought of guys. That was the key for me right there. I rarely paid much attention to girls on campus, but I always noticed the guys. Same thing with walking on the street. If I saw a couple coming towards me, my natural tendency was to check out the guy....not the girl he was with, unless she was an absolute, drop-dead gorgeous bombshell.

    By the age of 26, I was so sick and tired of fighting my urges, I decided to walk on the other fence to see if it was truly me. I haven't looked back since.

    Hope this helps in some way and hang in there. I know how you feel about heartbreak and loneliness and it's one of the suckiest feelings you can have, but try and keep your chin up.

    You're not 100% alone. You've got us. ;)
     
  9. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    OMG, I luv this forum.

    Eco, all the best advice has been stated already, pum'kin. But my being CoCo, I'll summarize: Sexuality is a great and fluid thing. Why don't you jump in that pool, swim around, and get a lil wet?

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Ecolecua

    Ecolecua Guest

    :rofl:, thx guys, Sam Gamgee I think I'm just too mature for my age people even tell me I act like and old man :hs:, but there isn't really a play ground for gays around here so it would be pretty impossible for me to go out and explore, which makes me wonder how (after reading certain theads) you guys as adolescentes crossed paths with people like that :wiggle:
     
  11. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    You're not alone. I grew up a lot faster than my age and people thought I was too mature for my age. As for crossing paths....the internet. That's how I started, but you learn pretty quick that people aren't all they say they are over the internet. There are a lot of snakes in the grass out there and you have to be damn careful.
     
  12. Ecolecua

    Ecolecua Guest

    Thats what I'm afraid of :hs:
     
  13. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    Oh man. :ugh: I had a stalker once. :wtc:
     
  14. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    you may get lucky. I know I did. despite the horror stories there are some really decent people out there who really are who they claim to be. I met my bf through the internet. he contacted me and we first started by sending emails, then IM and the phone. he turned out to be even better than what he made himself out to be. just be careful of being too trusting too fast. :bigthumb:
     
  15. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Good advice. :bigthumb:
     
  16. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    There is a gay play ground everywhere!!! It may be hard to sniff out at times—or too repugnant a stank at others—but it is very much there... How good is your dar?? You gotta hone it, tiger…
     
  17. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    Watch out for the cat poop in the sand box. :hs:
     
  18. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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  19. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    :bowrofl:
     
  20. Ecolecua

    Ecolecua Guest

    :doh: :rofl:
     

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