SRS Completely directionless recently in life

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by woot, Dec 28, 2009.

  1. woot

    woot wo

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    With the terms of my employment it seems very likely that I will no longer have a job in the coming weeks. With the money I have saved up I can probably last until march until I have no money left if it came to that. I am unable to find a new job for now.


    I've been unhappy with where my life is for some time now and this seems like a great opportunity to start over fresh. The problem is it feels like a waste of education and time to switch careers. I've spent a lot of time and effort to get into the industry I am now and feels like it would be hard to start over from the bottom. I don't know if I am using this as an excuse since I can't even find a job period but I am getting pretty weary of it regardless.


    I want to just say fuck it all and move to a new city but I can't seem to remove myself from the roots I've laid down here. It's too comfortable to set into the unknown. A mainly a fear of change. I don't know what I am supposed to do but it feels like the next few months will greatly impact my life...either I will be stuck doing the same routine or I might actually go through with something I've had in mind for a while now.


    I know this thread is a bit vague but that's about all the details I want to divulge at the moment. I just wanted to hear what other OTers went through and how they made a huge life changing decision in the past. Hopefully I can gain a little perspective from your experiences. Thanks.
     
  2. untoastytoast

    untoastytoast The Glory Days

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    i guess my only experience with this in a way is that: when my fear of staying in the same shitty rut was greater than my fear of taking some action and changing, that's when I actually did something about my personal situation.
     
  3. woot

    woot wo

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    The bigger problem I can't seem to hold down a job. This would be the third job in a little a year and a half. The first job I had to quit due to personal reasons and work environment. The second job the company was downsizing and a lot of people got laid off. Now this case it was trial period and they decided not to renew my contract.

    I don't know what I am doing wrong. I've worked my ass off and stayed productive. Things are getting a lot slower so I understand their reasoning but why me? This is getting pretty depressing and it looks bad on my resume bouncing from job to job. I don't know what to do really. If I could go back I wouldn't change anything. It seems like it was out of my control. I wish I could have done something.
     
  4. untoastytoast

    untoastytoast The Glory Days

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    If it were me, I suppose I would ask my most recent employer why they decided to not re-new my contract, because i have nothing to lose anyway. Then also, be honest with myself about my actions, and if I am doing something wrong, or just not working hard enough.
     
  5. woot

    woot wo

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    I think I might do this. I always thought I was honest about how I viewed myself and actions. I'd like to hear someone else's thoughts.
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Ok...here's mine.

    I worked in the oil business for 8 years taking on greater and greater responsibilities and busting my ass until an opportunity opened up. Then it did. The Chief Technology Officer (equivalent to the CIO in most companies) wanted to step down from those responsibilities and I was asked if I wanted to take over for her. I jumped at the chance and loved it so much I would have to force myself to go home after 16 hours of work each day...but it didn't seem like work...it was just fun.

    So 6 months after landing this dream job and making some very beneficial changes to the IT infrastructure, I was told we were selling the company. Just like that, my dream was ending.

    6 months after that, the deal was done and I was out of a job. The company that bought us kept me on as a consultant for about 9 months to help with the transition and that was wonderful but that ended also.

    So here I was, unemployed with a shit ton of cash, zero debt and no clue what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go from there. I honestly didn't know because I had my dream job and I simply wanted it back but it was beyond my control and gone for good.

    I took 8-9 months and just played video games, rode my motorcycle, spent time with friends and even dabbled in movie production and screenwriting. These were all helpful activities and I loved every minute of it because I had worked hard for quite some time and this was my reward.

    After all those months I still didn't know what I wanted to do but a few things had become really clear to me.
    1) If I was going to work the rest of my life in a career, I might as well pick something I really enjoy and I love computers so I do that for the rest of my life.
    2) If I was going to work with computers, I needed more education. Not only did I need to advance my skills, I knew that employers were chicken shit fucktards. They might hire someone with no formal computer education but they were more likely to deny that person a job and go with a safer choice....someone with a degree and multiple years of experience.
    3) I was not yet ready to reenter the workforce.
    4) I was getting really bored with video games and my motorcycle. All my friends worked during the day so having all that time off was getting really boring.

    So I decided I would take a full semester of Computer Science courses and see how I liked it...working towards a Computer Information Systems degree.....similar to a CS degree but it has fewer CS courses and more business courses.

    This semester addressed all of my issues above and I found that I loved it....absolutely love it and I ended up getting my very first 4.0 GPA in my life. I was so proud and excited because I had never worked so hard in school in my entire life.

    About 1/2 way through that semester, I knew I wanted to complete the degree. Not only that, I changed majors to the much harder, pure CS degree.....something that scared the shit out of me because I wasn't honestly sure if I could handle it or not.

    In 2007 I graduated with grades equivalent to Magna Cum Laude (3.84/4.0) but I didn't get the honor due to bad grades in my first degree. :wtc: However, I now had many more skills and started applying for jobs.

    I landed a job with a govt contractor that paid shit but had decent benefits and a kick ass boss. 3 months later traded that job in for another company and made instantly 15% more money but hated the job and the people there. It sucked balls. So 5 months later I found the job I'm at now and have been for the last 1.5 years. It's with a great company, pays really, really well (like double what that first job paid), has awesome benefits, incredible people and I'm learning all kinds of skills that I can use at other jobs I may have in the future.

    Is this the dream job I had back in the day? No but in a lot of ways it's much, much better. My blood pressure has never been lower, my paycheck has never been higher and I can honestly see me staying at this company for many more years.

    So I know that's a lot to read but don't look at your present struggles as being a bad thing. It's quite likely that life is trying to lead you into a much better place. Good luck on your journey.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    My view on it is this. When you deal with these kind of things on a 'emotional' level, things always go wrong, life isn't about what gives you the 'nicest magical feeling' , i mean think about it, if making choices was about 'how good we feel' we would all simply start using drugs and we'd all feel nice,

    NO,

    Life is about making choices that are primairily RIGHT for you, not choices that are nice for you. This means you should abandon your emotions and make LOGICAL choices in your life that are the best options.

    The reason for that is that if you go by emotions, you will never get anywhere in life, because emotionally you will say to yourself, im in a nice place, why would i leave?

    The reason why you should always make primairily logical choices in your life instead of emotional choices is that you are unhappy in the current position that you are, this means you always have to do EVERYTHING in your power to make your life better and improve yourself.

    Sitting around and having a fun time might seem nice at first, but you're actually drifting away ,slipping backwards into a more miserable situation as time progresses. This is why you should avoid making a emotional choice, those kind of choices can be made in secondary situations where all is going well at the moment, but not in times when life is cruel to you and things aren't going as they are supposed to go , it comes down to a restructural and reorganisation of your life, in which you do what is right for you, rather then doing what is nice for you.

    Don't settle down in your comfort zone, i won't bring you the happyness that you seek, i can tell you that in advance because i tried the same thing ,which resulted in continued unhappyness. Just say f it and do what is right for your life, this effort is well spend, my advice to you is to work for yourself instead of for others in your life.
     
  8. disley

    disley Ooooh no it isn't. Ooooh yes it is. OT Supporter

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    When I got like this, I'd take off around the world and see where it took me and what happened. Things usually worked out well. I was 28 before I ever owned a TV or anything that didn't fit in a suitcase, other than a car and tools, I only had my clothes some certificates and a passport.
    It was easy enough to sell the car, leave the tools with someone and just go when I wanted a change.
    Go to Thailand and do some scuba diving, go trekking in the Himalayas or Andes, look for a job on a yacht going anywhere, do something different.
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I for one would like to hear more about your travels and how that has helped you find your way in life. Like where are you now, what are you doing for work, did the traveling help you find direction and if so, in what ways?? You know....questions like that.
     
  10. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    I've traveled extensively too and the best thing it has done for me is get me out of my comfort zone and forced me to stick to the essentials of what I want at that moment. Nothing like landing in a 3rd world shithole and wondering where I'm going to sleep tonight, why isn't there any roman numerals anywhere to tell me prices and distances to places, do I bribe this soldier with a gun yelling at me, and is the guy that's offering to help me out of this going to scam me or worse (Usually the former, sometimes the latter, and less frequently they were just trying to help me out)? But not being able to dwell on it because it's happening all at once.

    But unfortunately going with the flow doesn't stick with me until I travel again (As you can tell by my post from before). It's just too easy to get back inside my head and ruminate when I'm in familiar surroundings.

    But what did stick was knowing how you react and how you feel under different circumstances that you aren't familiar with. I learned that I thrive under pressure, that I love the freedom ambiguity offers, and that I love meeting people. Sometimes I can be a bit shy but if I don't have interaction with people I get a sick feeling, say fuck it, and start talking to strangers. Of course, this doesn't exactly leave a narrow field of potential careers.
     
  11. Bodhi

    Bodhi My crotch is red .. my lambos blue .. and ill be g

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    so much truth in this .. im in the same boat
     

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