SRS Competition?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bimmer318, Sep 15, 2006.

?

Are you competitive?

  1. Extremely - Partake in many competitions, enjoy challenge

    4.5%
  2. Moderately - Play sports, games, challenge others

    36.4%
  3. Slightly - Play some sports, some games

    54.5%
  4. No - Play no sports or games

    4.5%
  1. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    I never knew what competition was. I always lived life the way within my own means, and also to be careful not to get into anybody's way. I always let things happen as they were and never quite took the extra step where it counted toward a goal that is hard to reach. And when I did, I could only do it for a short time. I could never sustain my passion for anything

    I have this problem of being intimidated. And being slightly lazy at times when I am distracted by OT :mamoru:. But I don't let it get to me, and I find plenty of reasons to do the work that I am doing, because I enjoy it. However there are some things about me that make me raise the red flag about myself:

    For example, I never play sports, and never pertake in physical activities. I tried hitting the gym but I quickly came up with excuses not to do it (its either school or work). I remember not even playing sports in elementary school, or in high school. Sports were just not in my interests. I think that way of thinking kind of, shaped my life in the future.
    Also, if I see a girl with a group of guys, or maybe with a guy, I could never approach her, even though I'd be interested in her. It would be the same idea: avoiding competition.

    But it's just a part of me that I've grown to accept. It doesn't make me jobless sitting at home, or it doesn't make me super antisocial in group situations, or depressed or anything like that.


    Also, and the reason I made this thread, I talked to a very motivated person today, a very competitive person. A jamaican dude in my program, much poorer than me (he almost dropped out last year since he had no money), and has more responsibilities at home. He used to compete in national competitions since childhood, and now that's the only way he pays his tuition. Alongside schoolwork he competes in architectural competitions (He won a few national and international ones) and works, and also wrote half a book, and says he is going to Paris to participate in a biking marathon in 2 years. I ask him, "how"? And he says, "That's secondary. The important thing It's going to happen". He also said something along the lines of comparing himself to a prince. "A prince is young, so people look up to him. He is not intimidated, and he is full of fresh ideas" . Thats serious Jamaican talk :mamoru: ... But I get his point. And didn't have much to say to him except. I am still looking for my "calling" in my life.

    I believe I have a good life, I go to a university, pursuing architecture, getting a 3.2 GPA, and have quite good expectations of myself. I do want to be an architect, but after listening to him, I feel that I must improve my mindset. I just fear of being "mediocre".... Living in a house in suburbs, commuting to work, taking a vacation once in a while, being a nobody..




    This is not really a rant, just something I need to let out. And I decided to post a poll about it too. Let's hear your stories.
     
  2. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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  3. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    lawl sep 2006 and an av
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Your a winner if you love ,support and believe in yourself unconditionally.

    You see, your attaching 'conditions' to yourself in order to accept yourself,which is wrong. Something in the lines of , i only count in life 'if' i win the grand prix, the marathon, triathlon,tour the france etc etc which is just complete non-sense. You only have to accept yourself and be your own judge,jury and executor.

    If you dislike sports, don't participate in them, if you want to be a 'somebody' then you have to love, and help other people. That's the only way how you should make your mark on humanity.
     
  5. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Poll choices don't fit me...all my life I'd rather create some art or pick up a guitar then play sports. But I'm certainly competitive on other areas.

    Either way, you're doing exactly what you should be doing. Talking and associating yourself with people who are motivated is the surefire way to light some fire in yourself. Some of the periods in my life I made the most progress was when I was hanging out with people who were just super successful at what they were doing, or had a lot of drive to get somewhere better. That pushed me ahead.

    The fact that you WANT to be somebody, is enough evidence that you're destined for something more then "mediocre". If you want something, keep that as your permanent focus.
     
  6. wired3758

    wired3758 New Member

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    good answer - you're right, the fact that he's got a plan and he's working toward it means he can't be mediocre. We've all got our own path so there's no point comparing other people's success with your own. Cool to use it as motivation for your own success, learning what you can from them.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Interesting thread. I've acted similiarly in my life.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I think what you're actually looking for is not competition, but rather to become more assertive in your life.

    To have the confidence in yourself to decide for yourself what you want, and to persevere and succeed whether others support you or work against you.

    Assertiveness (not ahole aggressiveness) will serve you well, and in all aspects of your life. It can be learned through competition/sports/games/etc. but it can also be gained through many other means as well.

    Think about it. Isn't this the actual root core of what you desire?
     
  9. good afternoon, bimmer318; :coolugh:

    One thing to notice is that most competitive sports are "zero sum games", meaning that the winner gets a +1, and the loser, -1 making the sum:
    (+1) + (-1) = 0

    Another thing that also stops a lot people is self-doubt, usually stemming from the invalidations of others. What I've realized recently is that for these bad thoughts to have any force, I have to 'pay-out' attention to both the invalidating thought and myself as it's victim. Internalized, it's like having two cats in a sack causing all these bad feelings, without ever before understanding that I expended my own mental energy making-up, or mocking up, both cats by giving them my attentions at all, by taking any of it seriously.

    With me it was like being almost constantly, psychologically hand slapped, retraumatized by the same thoughts, while being completely unconscious until recently that they were both my own hands that were causing all the self-inflicted pain and doubt. By making some time to still these negative thoughts, I've gained a great deal of self-assertiveness and insight myself, and enormous relief.

    Do you think it might be true that a lot of chronic anxiety and melancholy might have the psychological dynamics of a zero-sum game, ones that are unhealthful for anyone to even ensue? I don't think many people grok this very well, but I think quite a few others do a kind of stilling/centering thought-exercise almost automatically.

    Hope this helps.

    regards,
    [email protected]
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2006

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