communication issues, new gf is growing distant

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by pantheR, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. pantheR

    pantheR New Member

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    gf of 1.5 months has been growing distant last few weeks. seems like i'm always initiating the texts/calls now, and when to go out. a few random nights in the last week have gone by with no contact (always her not getting back to me, not vice-versa). and only saw her 2 times last week.. last time i did (saturday) we talked for an hour (i stopped in at her work) and she says everything is good between us. we talked like everything was fine.. discussing thanksgiving plans, what to do for my upcoming bday, etc. just felt weird though.

    she has been going through some personal matters and minor depression and says that's the reason why she's been distant. so i don't know if i need to comfort her (like i've tried to do lately) or give her space. i'm also getting paranoid she's up to no good (ex is still in her circle of friends) but she hasn't really given me a reason to be paranoid... just the lack of communication.


    edit: read post 17
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2008
  2. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Stop being so insecure. Give her space then let her come to you.

    Being insecure will just drive her away even more.
     
  3. amill94

    amill94 OT Supporter

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    Why don't you ask her what you wrote in your post? Maybe there is some simple explanation. I'd do that before any other steps.
     
  4. pantheR

    pantheR New Member

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    well she never got back to me last night, i guess i'll just wait a few days. we tentatively made plans to go out tuesday but i have a gut feeling that if i don't contact her at all, soon enough i'll be jerking off by myself that night on tues.
     
  5. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    well then contact her!
     
  6. Troy

    Troy New Member

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    make her contact you, never put the gash on a pedestal, I'm not saying be a jerk but don't allow yourself to be treated like that. It will become a pattern.
     
  7. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    lots of people saying to give space, but think about what you want-

    do you like the way things are going? some people are better about communicating than others, they'll want you involved in their life rather than pushing you out when things are tough for them.

    maybe this girl isn't so good for you
     
  8. snoodles

    snoodles New Member

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    girls want what they can't have. the second she sees that you're eating out of the palm of her hand she'll toss you away. act busy, be busy, and she'll start to come around.


    on the off chance she doesn't, then you've already put your life in motion to get back out there for more game.
     
  9. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Flat out ask her: "Do you want space to hash out your issues or do you want me around to help you?"

    1.5 months should be just the beginning of the honeymoon phase, not the beginning of questions someones actions. If she says she needs space, its your call if you want to be wiht someone who will distance themselves from you every time things get a bit stressful in their life. I personally couldnt deal with that.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    .
     
  11. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    took the words out of my mouth
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :mamoru: :rofl: never heard that before :bowrofl:
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    On a side note, sounds like my psycho whore ex, too.
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Meh, I think you should let her know that if she has issues, she should be able to talk to you about them. And then let her know that you are going to back off, give her some space, and let HER come back to YOU when she's ready for something more.

    Don't be afraid to walk away from a situation that's not meeting your standards. And don't be afraid to communicate with her what you want out of the relationship and let HER decide if she's willing to step up or step out.

    The big thing: TALK TO HER and tell her what you want/how you feel. And then back off and leave it all in her hands.

    If she likes you, she WILL come back to you. You just gotta be strong enough to let her fly away for a little while.

    Or in other words, give her some time to miss you, man.
     
  15. pantheR

    pantheR New Member

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    that night (this past monday) i sent her a deep text basically saying i'm there for her, asking if she needs space, blah blah.

    so FYI, 2 weeks ago she had to go to the ER after being at the bar, she never told me why (i wasn't with her that night).

    last night she tells me she had to go cause of a miscarriage. it wasn't me who got her pregnant, it was her ex-bf.

    at the time this happened we had only been dating for 1 month. she told me it was 8 weeks old. so that means a month before we started dating her ex-bf (who she at that time had already broken up with) got her preggers... ok. she says she didn't know which i believe her (but how the fuck do you not know?). that's why her emotions have been fucked up.

    all this was done via texting. she's at work now and i'm going to call her tonight. i don't really know what to say. i'm first off going to make sure she hasn't cheated on me. if she has, then fuck her for sure.

    if not.. i don't know, ugh.
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    some girls will still bleed a little even when they are pregnant. There are some really fat women who have popped out a kid and never knew they were pregnant the whole time.
     
  17. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    Wow dude she got all kind of baggage. She had just broke up with her ex and dating you right away. It sounds like you guys are already official which is kind of fast that she just got out of a relationship. That miscarriage will mess with her emotion quite a bit and will make her put her attention to her ex now. You may need to distance yourself and wait it out.
     
  18. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    Two things I want to say about your situation.

    1. She's got way too much baggage. I personally think that it's not the best time for her to be initiating a new relationship until she deals with some of her own issues and gets that worked out.

    2. You can be pregnant that early and not know. 8 weeks along is NOT very far along. Now if she was 14-25 weeks or further, that's a different story. 8 weeks, you can't feel the baby and some women still get their periods, some don't get morning sickness or have any signs of pregnancy until much later. A friend of mine didn't know she was pregnant until she was 10 weeks along and the only symptom she had was being overly tired. So yeah, it's fairly common to be 8 weeks along and NOT know you're pregnant. So please give her the benefit of the doubt in that regard.
     
  19. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    run, don't walk
     
  20. pantheR

    pantheR New Member

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    just talked to her. it wasn't her ex-bf. i didn't think it was since they stopped dating 6 months ago and she was over him. so it was some random dude which isn't much better. but she never cheated on me.

    i got my bday coming up next week so i'll see her then but i told her we'll just have to see how things work out in the next few weeks/month.
     
  21. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Meet new women.
     
  22. GTP

    GTP New Member

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    I agree with Yail
     
  23. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    sucks man, but really I had a friend who was 5 months pregnant before she figured it out. She was tested for all kinds of different diseases and things and no one could figure out what was wrong with her. She didn't think about not really having her period because she bled lightly and was used to not having it while she was in-season for soccer. So that much is believable. Also, pregnancy throws off your entire hormonal system, so its going to be understandable that she's a bit off. Just take it day by day, you guys havent been together too long, and try to be there for her.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: What a fucking nightmare this turned into...

    WTF is a "deep text?" WTF is wrong with people? Why are you such pussies that you have to use a text message to tell someone how you really feel? It dives me up a wall how pathetic people are and how much they rely on messages instead of even telling someone on the phonecall how they feel.
     
  25. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    We have been born into a generation that is EXTREMELY non-confrontational and very passive-aggressive.
     

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