SRS Coming out of the closet to homophobic parents...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Pen Is Mightier, Aug 17, 2008.

  1. I'm 19, live at home during the summer and work here and then go to college fall through spring. I came out this summer to friends and yesterday to my younger brother who took it pretty well actually. The only ones that don't know now are my parents. However it's pretty shitty actually...my parents make gay jokes all the time -- whether they're out in public and see a flamboyant gay person or we're at the dinner table and they say something or talk shit. I'm no flamboyant or obviously gay person...I look at act "straight" you could say. The thing is I know my parents will be unbelievably upset as they worked their ass off to help better my life and they will see this as me telling them to fuck off...even though its not like that. I was born in Germany and moved here when I was young...but they are still your typical "immigrant parents"...who don't understand modern America but will work their assess off to benefit their children.

    I think my Mom will just cry and be angry at me, but I think my Dad will tell me to get the fuck out of the house and may even cut me off...dont know if they will let me come back. So this is what kills me...not sure if it is worth telling them as I NEED them financially right now unless I want to go into huge debt and be homeless. My boyfriend is out to his parents and I've slept over there in the past but I dont think they'd be very keen on me LIVING there in his room...he just came out to them a few weeks ago...

    What does OT think I should do? Come out? Stay in? Move out? Off myself? :sadwavey:
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I think it might be better to let it slowly sink in, but im no expert on that and you posted this in the wrong forum.moved Please continue
     
  3. Posted in The Asylum for a reason, move it back please. PM SENT!!!
     
  4. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    OMG coming out thread v. 3! :noes:
     
  5. Coming out v. I fucking hate myself? so can everyone fuck off. :(

    I wanted new opinions.
     
  6. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    :hug:

    You should go make out with the boyfriend. That'll cheer you up. :naughty:
     
  7. Nothing cheers me up anymore, just temporarily lets me forget. I went over there last night to sleep because I couldn't sleep here and felt so depressed. Ended up waking up early though and leaving right away. I think I'm just going to go running and then swim all day...hopefully I can put everything beside me today.
     
  8. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    Have a good one. :wiggle:
     
  9. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    I know you can't do it until you are ready, but sooner is better than later.
     
  10. I know, it's just too hard to think of the consequences though. On the other hand it has to happen sometime and would relieve all of this stress. Part of me really wants to tell them and then just leave for a few day(s) if they are too angered.

    This bundled with the fact that they are probably divorcing any day now is really kicking me in the face.
     
  11. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    keep it to yourself until you are financially ready to move out.

    i normally do not give advice about hiding the truth or using people but your situation is different.

    if your parents are close minded and they will kick you out bc you're gay just say nothing for a few more years.

    even thinking that you could just move in w. your bf is not a good idea. you are only 19 (i assume he is around your age). if your relationship goes sour and your parents have kicked you out what do you do then?
     
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: There really is no need to tell them. It's just going to cause you unnecessary problems. It's not really any of their business who you want to date anyway.
     
  13. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    I make fun of flamboyant gay people all the time but I don't have a problem with gays in general. They may take it hard but it will probably make you feel a lot better to get it off your chest.
     
  14. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Why do they need to know?
     
  15. Virality

    Virality New Member

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    Agreed. I'd hold off on it until later when you have something to fall back on if they do have a negative reaction and kick you out.

    They don't, IMO. But they say telling them is better than having them finding out on their own (although it they're going to react negatively in either case, then...)
     
  16. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I asked him, not you.
     
  17. Virality

    Virality New Member

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    Oh, I see. Sorry? :dunno:
     
  18. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Yeah you better sorry me, kid.
     
  19. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I'm just messin' wit joo.
     
  20. Because I have to lie to them all the time and it's something that will continue to haunt me until I do tell them.
     
  21. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    How do you lie to them?
     
  22. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

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    If they really do kick you out they're not worth one of your tears, seriously, fuck 'em, wait until you don't need them then drop it in their laps and laugh about how much it hurts them, like they hurt you.
     
  23. My whole life is a lie if I can't tell them this. I go over to my boyfriend's house a lot and I just say I'm going out with friends to a movie or something and if I stay the night I just say I was too drunk to drive or something. :hs:

    When I was depressed and feeling sick after telling my friends I was gay I had to lie about the reason and just said I felt sick and didn't want to be bothered that day. :dunno:

    Plus whenever they make an anti-gay comment I can't say anything about it I just take it and agree or something which makes me a hypocrite. :hsd:
     
  24. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Yeah, the whole "living a lie" thing is really getting burned out. You don't walk around telling everyone you see every detail of your life. Bottom line: it's an invalid excuse.

    If you don't like them making gay jokes, tell them. Grow a pair, stand up to them, and tell them that you think it's rude and decent people don't get off on making fun of others who are different.
     
  25. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    next time they make a derogatory comment about gay people, you could say something like "come on, they're no different from anyone else" or something equally vague and just see how they react. they might say "oh we know, we're just joking around" or they might be like "haha, yeah right, it's a good thing you're not gay!" either way, it could help you decide what course of action to take :hs:
     

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