SRS Comforting friend who just got dumped.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SovietRussia, Mar 15, 2006.

  1. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    So this girl i know calls me today, and asks if i want to hang out. I havent heard from her for like 6 months, and we get together and chill with a movie and some chinese food all afternoon/evening. not really talking much about her ex, just catching up. we had hooked up one night when we were drinking, but nothing much after that. I must say, i look better now, and im pretty sure she noticed. my main question is how can avoid being her emotional tampon. I wouldnt mind trying to get together with this girl, but am not very good at that sort of thing, and get very self-conscious around girls i like. i am fine with helping her through her time, but if i could maybe get together with her, i think it might go somewhere as well. also, i dont just want to be used by her, just to keep her mind busy when she has nothing better else to do. :hsd:
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Then you have to flat out tell her that you want you and her to be in a gf/bf relationship. The longer you keep in that circle of 'doubt' and indecisiveness the more you expose yourself as an emotional crutch. You already felt it, there's a high chance of this happening to you. You have to keep alert that this doesn't happen to you. And if she starts about her ex, ask her if there's any chance in hell that she will go back to him. If she says yes or is in serious doubt, then you know its a bad idea to start a relationship with her. Because once she is recovered she'll probably dump you as soon as a new oppertunity arrives.

    This girl is full of risks. I think you should give it a try tho, and just cherish the happy moments that she is with you, for you it will be dating experience and it beats being alone, even if you at this moment don't have the full perspective of a future with her. It might give acces to meeting new friends of her that if you break up , you might get into contact with them.

    So going into a relationship with her in a defensive way and the expectation that you might well get a hurtfull impact , will allow you to step out of this relationship as soon as you see that things are going wrong.

    You need to communicate and ask her what she wants, that's the only way you'll get a vague idea of what she wants. She'll probably throw at you that its too early for her to get into a new relationship, if she says that i would step out immediatly.
     
  3. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    Just dont get involved... enjoy her presence there but everytime she starts whining about her ex just change the topic... enjoy her in a good way
     
  4. I'm a Slacker

    I'm a Slacker ASStastic

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    Sorry to say but this girl view guys like you as nothing but an emotinal tampon. They need a guy like you to make her feel special and wanted during a time when she feels rejected. You will become nothing more that a dry hump or cuddle buddy. In time she will go back to the dickhead who dumped her and after he dumps her again guess who she goes running to? You know she can get the comfort from her girlfriends. Like someone mentioned above.....you can just play along and at least have that female interaction or tell her straight up how you feel. Chances are she won't be ready for a new relationship until she finds closure with the other guy. been there done that and never again. GL:)
     
  5. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i dont know how i would segway from normal conversation into saying that i think her and i should hook up anyways. :confused:
     
  6. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    Interesting... I believe she wont go to any of her girlfriends cuz she is close to them. So perhaps she wants to go back out with the jerk, but doesnt wanna talk shit about him to her GFs cuz its gonna get back to him if things work out.

    Soviet, just mac to her and do whatever you would do to get a random girl... but dont let yourself to be her emotional tampon :)
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    If she get's into talking about emotional problems, tell her; "Hey, not to be rude, but I am hanging out with you to have a good time. I don't want to talk about this. If you need a shoulder to cry on then you are hanging out with the wrong person." It may seem rude to you to say something like that, but if that's how you feel, then say it. You can say it in a sympathetic way, but be stern.
     
  8. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    No no no... just say "Hey look at that funny cloud" or "Hey Im going to the mall, wanna come with?"... hope she gets the hint
     
  9. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I think that may be more rude.

    Tell her that you don't think dwelling on it is going to help so let's drop it and go have fun.
     
  10. I'm a Slacker

    I'm a Slacker ASStastic

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    It's too early for you to tell her. Just play along with it for now....but once it get to the anoying stage where you can't take it anymore you can then tell her. By that time you are so anoyed you have nothing to lose:bigthumb:
     
  11. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    being a should to cry on is an early sign that you are being friendzoned.
     
  12. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    the ironic thing is we watched the movie 'just friends' last night. it was pretty good, and the 'just friends' end up together in the end. :naughty:
     
  13. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i figured maybe id just try and get her drunk some night.
     
  14. I'm a Slacker

    I'm a Slacker ASStastic

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    yeah good luck with that, getting her drunk can back fire. Alcohol +Emotional girl =:wtc: :greddy:
     

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