SRS COLLEGE ROOMMATE HELP

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by John Blaze, Sep 5, 2007.

  1. John Blaze

    John Blaze New Member

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    My college roommate is gay and i am not. I am a male as is he. I am very open and have 0 problem with his orientation. He was my roommate last year as well and he has made several sacrifices for me and always been extremely nice. We have got along very well.

    Now:
    I come into my room and find him with another guy and they are obviously romantically interested. I leave and later come back to an empty room that is about 15 degrees more hot and smells of body odor. They obviously had sex. Later they both come back and stay there the entire night, including spending the night. The guy is back again and has been here all day. I am not homophobic yet i feel very uneasy.

    Me:
    I suffer from OCD, and losing control of my own room is making it very very very much worse. I almost feel depressed.

    What to do:
    Talk to him? that is what everyone tells me. But what can i say? he cannot be here that often, he can't spend the night? It is hard to when my roommate has made so many concessions to me in the past yet i feel that i will go crazy if this continues.

    any help or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Paulie Walnuts

    Paulie Walnuts Im an agent of chaos

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    Wow thats a tough one. I would talk to him and just ask him if you can set limits on how often someone spends the night but make sure that you abide by that as well. You have to practice what you preach. Just explain to him that you really like to keep the room clean and that he try his best to do the same. Its all about communication.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Your room??? Do you live in a dorm where you are stuck in the same room?

    If this is your own personal room then it is fucking ridiculous! I would be angry as fuck and definitely bring up that it was inapporpriate....However, if you are telling me you are both in a one room dorm or something and they fucked in his bed then it's honestly not your place or business to care what he does. Just makes you sound selfish as fuck.
     
  4. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

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    definitely a tricky situation you have there. my old roommate always had his gf over and that really made the already small room even more crowded. she'd sleep over basically every night, she'd do her hw in the room, and she was pretty loud, messy, and annoying too.

    i decided not to say anything b/c my roomie had also made some concessions earlier (and helped me a bunch previously) and i thought it wasn't right of me to complain about his gf, but in retrospect, i think i should've at least said something. she just got on my nerves and i had to live with her presence for the better part of a school year and i probably could've saved myself a lot of agitation if i had talked to my roomie about it. just make it discreet (you don't need to include his bf in the convo) and make sure you follow w/e ground rules you might end up setting.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I would simply ask about the times when he wants to be with his bf in the room, and you can arrange those times, so that when they do their thing, you aren't there, and also makes some arrangements about cleaning up afterwards, because it must have given quite a mess and stench.
     
  6. John Blaze

    John Blaze New Member

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    there are two different adjacent rooms but they are intimately connected i.e. i must walk through his room to get to mine for there is only one door that connects to his room and then his room connects to mine. anything that happens in one room will be heard in the other etc. That is why we are still considered roommates, it's kind of like one big room split into two by a very thin wall...

    thanks so much for these comments, they all were helpful. anymore would be greatly appreciated.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ahh ok, thank you for clarifying. This is interesting though because IMO you have a right just as a roommate to confront him about common courtesy. Common courtesy meaning you tell him "hey man, I am ok with your lifestyle (even if it is really what makes you uncomfortable here you need to suck it up) and everything, but as you know our walls are paper thin...and I was just hoping that you could try and respect that I can hear what you do in there." Or maybe just talk to him about codes. Shit, lots of people who live together in dorms or places like yours have a sock on the door or whatever if they are with someone. I obviously know that if you need to get to your room this won't matter, but maybe figure out a way to knock so that it's not such an issue.

    Just try talking to him. Be open and honest because my roommate is not gay, but I certainly wouldn't be comfortable coming home and seeing him fucking on the couch or something.
     
  8. Paulie Walnuts

    Paulie Walnuts Im an agent of chaos

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    I agree and its like I said, its all about communication. I think that 80% plus of the problems we have in life come down to communication failures.
     
  9. razi

    razi New Member

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    just bring it up politely. if you have to use the OCD as an excuse, go ahead. At least you should be able to get him to play some soft music, open the window afterwards, or something. :p
     
  10. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    Just be honest with him "hey broseph your being gay doesn't offend me but if you guys are going to bone could you give me notice. I just honestly don't want to hear or smell it. I am willing to do the same courtesy for you if I bring a girl home. Text me, arrange it something. I would ask the same of any other roommate if they were straight, bi etc. sexual relations are something that should be kept personal" or something like that.

    And this advice is coming from a bisexual college student. Feel free to stop by the closet, the other closeteers might come up with something better then my redneck ass!
     
  11. svetlanalemon

    svetlanalemon A little blood and vomit on the car seat...

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    gay or straight, you guys should talk and set guidelines or ground rules for each other- these are things you might see on a check list beginning the year you guys might live together : if its not okay with you that he has sex with someone in the *shared* room, then you should tell him you are uncomfortable with it. regardless of whether he is gay ( which you may obviously have greater concern about, but gay sex or straight sex its still sex and within that cramped excuse of a room called a college dorm room its completely reasonable to set these sorts of rules )

    dont ignore it until it just builds up and manifests into annoyance/aggression
     
  12. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    he should not be in ur room having sex. tell him thats crossing your line.
     

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