SRS College Life and Women

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Drifter87, Feb 7, 2006.

  1. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    To start, I am a college freshmen, nearing the end of the 2nd quater.

    My first quater was hell, overall GPA of 2.166 and massive depression. My current quater (2nd), I changed to an easyer major, So I am looking at a 2.8-3.2 GPA, but I still get depressed and I really have no friends here.

    15,000+ students, and all I run into are assholes or kids that just use me for my skills. They want nothing to do with me till they need me for something. I generally eat alone, but when I do eat with people its constant bashing of me. I have no idea why, I'm a nice guy, but when you push me around I stand up for myself. I've been in more fights at college then I have been in my entire life (fist fights, they always start it and throw the first punch).

    When I do prove someone wrong flat out in an argument, its like listening to a little kid throw a temper tantrum. (I prove people wrong in a mature manner, no low blows or child like remarks).

    I have the normal freshmen trouble of "what do I want to major in?" but with everyone I meet is being a jerk towards me isn't helping. I can only take so much before it gets me. I'm a nice guy, who will help anyone, I'm always similing even when I'm down, and never cause grief to others.


    Now for women...

    I met this girl, at first we hated each other, then we started to get along, then we hooked up. Now where I am having trouble is that she is in an open relationship and I'm just a random hook up.

    At first I told myself, this was just gonna be a random hookup, but she kept coming back night after night. Before I knew it, I learned everything about her. When I'm around her, I forget all my issues at college, I can relax and let my guard down and be truely happy. Now I want to date her, but she is in an open relationship with another guy. I know I just got to go and ask her, but I'm not sure how to put the words together for this type of situation (I'm only asking because I think I have a good shot, plus I like her, also when I'm around her, we arn't always busy making out, we do talk and chill).


    This is kinda rant plus advice is needed...
     
  2. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    She's in "an open relationship with another guy". That says it all. You cannot change that. She is probably in several open relationships.
     
  3. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Yea, I ask for help with programing or math, I have yet to find a person who won't insult my intelligence because I'm learning. The first few times was funny, the 20th time, I told them it wasn't funny anymore, they kept going.

    I love my sleep, kids will bang on my door to wake me up or If my roommate leaves it unlocked, people will walk in an bug the fuck out of me till I get up. Then they leave laughing and I feel like shit for the rest of the day because I didn't get enough sleep. They know it, they see me through out the day.

    I try to make small talk with kids I'm in class with, I get shot down instantly. They don't want to talk at all or are more interested in their flash video game they are currently playing.

    I only get invited to go bowling when they lack people and want the discount. We go, I make everyone laugh and have a good time. One kid shoots me down, and then everyone goes after me.

    I'm good at video games, they will only ask me to play video games with them when they need someone good to help their team do better or win.

    I've joined clubs, but the clubs are to large and everyone already has their clicks.

    I have moved a ton of times in my life due to my fathers career, I have no issues making friends. My current friends from High School are awesome and I have no trouble making friends outside college.

    I am just my normal nice self who likes to laugh and have a good time.

    I have more then enough stress, I run and lift so much now that I am starting to hurt myself. My knees are giving out again, and I hurt my left shoulder from lifting way to much. (I know its my fault, but when im stressed I do stupid shit to myself)


    So if the problem is with me, and I can't be a nice, helping, relaxed guy, then I might as well end myself, because I can't be an asshole no matter how hard I try and I can't stand to see people struggle and suffer.
     
  4. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Right now she says its just me and the guy. She mentioned something to me about dropping one of us and dating. When I am with her, she says I am very confy to be with and falls asleep in my arms.

    I say its worth a shot, I rather get shot down, rather then give up and regret it. I just need to figure out how to come up with the words.
     
  5. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    You're a freshman, she's a freshman? She is experimenting (and so are you). It's very unlikely that you'll be anything more than one of her "open" relationships - and she's got 3 or 4 more waiting on the side ready to go.

    I think you should focus on finding a second girl yourself.

    For this one, I think the best you can do is stay light and friendly-plus with her, for future hookups next year and the year after which could get deeper.

    If you get too clingy with her now, or try to force the matter, she will drop you.
     
  6. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    When it comes to me and random hook ups, after a certain point if I don't start dating the person, I need to cut them off 100% or it starts to mess with my head. Yes I do have friends who are female, but we don't hookup and mess around.
     
  7. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    OK - that's OK for you. But, it sounds like she does "hookup and mess around".

    Do what you need to do. And she will too.

    That's life. Good luck.
     
  8. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    If people are picking on you it's because you allow yourself to be a target. Most bullies are driven by the reaction of their victims, so stop reacting in a way that gives them pleasure. Don't try to one-up them. Don't complain, don't yell, don't get visibly upset/frustrated. Act like you don't care and they'll stop, like water off a duck's back, because teasing someone who doesn't care just makes the teaser look stupid. Look up "nonchalance" and go from there.

    For the girl, the only thing you can do is ask. Next time she's laying in your arms (or some other appropriate time), ask her about dating exclusively. If she says no, don't take it personally - if she's not ready to settle down to dating one person exclusively she'd be unhappy in the relationship anyway. Are you ok with having an open relationship with her? It has definite advantages for you as well which you should consider.
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    People in general live in darkness and hate and live for selfish motives and are egoselfcentered. The problem is that they are making abuse of you and your skills and that you are allowing it. It isn't help or anything you are giving to them , they are only leechers who make abuse of your skills. There's a big difference between help and abuse. Help is like an emergency, one hand on a cliff shouting please help me, abuse is when someone says do my homework for me, don't feed these beggers , what you must do is show that you aren't be messed with, avoid and ignore them, if they come to you walk away, wherever they are , you are not. Focus on your study, you will regain happyness if you in yourself are a loving and helping person (helping for the good reasons,as in an emergency) Life works like the mirror effect of a ball on a wall. If you throw positive things at it , positive things will be casted back on you. If you get threatened in a position to fight, don't fight.

    38`You have heard that the law says, "Take an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth."

    39But I tell you, do not fight with anyone who does wrong to you. But if someone hits you on one side of your face, turn the other side to him also.

    40`If anyone takes you to court to get your shirt, let him have your coat also.

    41If anyone wants you to help carry a load, go with him twice as far.

    42When someone asks you for something, give it to him. When someone wants to borrow something from you, let him have it.'

    43`You have heard that the law says, "Love your neighbour and hate your enemy."

    44But I tell you, love your enemies. Ask God to do good to those who trouble you.

    45In that way you will be sons of your Father in heaven. He makes his sun shine on both wrong and good people. He lets the rain fall on people who do right and on people who do wrong.

    46If you love only those who love you, what reward will you get? Even the tax collectors do that.

    47Do you speak to your brothers only? If so, you are not doing any better than other people. Even people who do not believe in God do that.

    48You must be good in every way, as your Father in heaven is good in every way.'
     
  10. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I'm no longer making myself a target, they start to rag I'm just gonna walk away or ignore it. Actually just a few minutes ago they started going after me for my RC Car... I just walked away and they followed, so I closed my door and it pissed them off, I feel pretty good.

    For the girl, tonight things were going great. She opened up her self for the question, but then just as I was gonna say something her roommate walks in talking on her cell phone and killed the moment. So maybe tomorrow night when its just me and her...

    I know the advantages for an open relationship, but the problem is I actually find her interesting and I like her past a random hook up / fuck buddy. Otherwise I would be set and happy.
     
  11. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Maybe try a different college?
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    What college is this
     
  13. MyLittleAirport

    MyLittleAirport OT Supporter

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    I'm a freshman too and the only new friends I have at college are the people in my wrestling club. If it weren't for my club, I would still be hanging out with the same highschool friends that goes to my college (which isn't bad but new friends are never bad either).

    Maybe join a sport other than just lifting? Either way, gl with it man. Some people are just assholes, I bet you're just having bad luck. 15,000 people!? There's got to be some good people in there.
     
  14. MyLittleAirport

    MyLittleAirport OT Supporter

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    And... i don't know why i quoted you pringles, my bad lol.
     
  15. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    If i were you id go for the girl. You got the right idea with that. I wouldn't be too thrilled about the other guy...but that just means you have to beat him (not physically) and get the girl. Sounds to me like you're winning.

    Are you in the dorms? Who is treating you like dirt? You seem like a reasonable guy to me. Ignoring them may get them to stop bugging you...but it wont get you any friends either. You need to be straight with them, and confident. You should ask what they have against you, why they're always treating you like shit. Ask them straight up, it will make them feel like the jerks they are, and they'll respect you for it. Respect will get you friends.
     
  16. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    You're still showing them that you care, though. Ignoring them is better. You don't want to piss them off; you want to make them look like idiots to anyone else who's watching, or to each other for that matter. When you seriously don't give a shit, the bullies go away.
     
  17. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    I know what you mean dude about getting ragged on by others. Problem is that you probably look like a victim. Basically, act like a real man without being arrogant and people will leave you alone and will probably even want to be your friend. If people insult you and the first thing you do is throw punches, you won't get far in life. Plus people will get a kick out of provoking you and laughing at you.

    By being a man, I mean, have good posture, look people in the eyes, be very calm and composed at all times.

    I know, since I used to be the class punching bag in high school. Why? Because kids are animals and they will gang up and kill whoever they consider weak among them. At the time these things happened, I was a good guy that was always alone, rather studious, got insulted easily, had bad posture and nervous. However, as years went by, there were some good samaritans that helped me gain confidence and become the man I am (most of these were girls hitting on me that I wasn't interested in, but nevertheless. One of them though was some man about 5 years older than me that was 7 ft tall very nice popular and well liked. He just treated me like his friend and kept building up my confidence and getting me out of my introverted shell. ).

    The best advice I can give you is to find someone, a role model, and imitate him.
     
  18. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    sounds like the college I went to, though I hooked up with a group of friends pretty quick. It was more of the somebody who knew somebody who knew somebody. The girl issue, well being a girl myself it is so tough being in a relationship and being dedicated to school at the same time. I got hooked up with a boy during my first year and almost flunked out. Be careful getting invovled with someone, it is great to have that person you can release with but it comes with its thorns as well.

    The dorm thing a friend of mine lived in a floor like that he wasnt the target, but he lived with a whole bunch of sports players that didnt take school very seriously and my friend was the perfectionist english major. He just sort of learned to drown it out and when and if it got out of hand too bad he went to the RA's. there may be a option for you as well have you talked with the RA's? Have you considered moving dorms?
     
  19. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I'm normally able to balance work and a relationship pretty well. So I think I can handle it, just I gotta ask her, whenever I am about to shoot the question, something comes up (phone rings, someone shows up to chill, etc...), I think I'm just gonna call her and say "hey lets talk".

    I currently live in the dorms, next year I'm looking at living in an apartment. For the guys who give me shit, I stopped showing them my nice side, only people I get along with I'm laid back and relaxed with.

    Im surpised, the person who I hated most was my roommate, and now we are like good friends. Completely at ease with each other.

    ***While Writing this I ran over to see the girl***

    I got shot down :sadwavey:

    EDITED: She wanted to see me to chat, and it came up...
     
  20. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    You got shot down? What'd she say?
     
  21. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    She needs time to think, because currently shes having some issues of her own. She said one day she might disappear or hurt her self, and dosn't want that to effect me. BUT she still wants to be friends, keep on making out, cuddle, and all the fun physical stuff.
     
  22. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Disappear or hurt herself? I dont know about you, but thats a phatty red flag going up in my head. See if you can get her to open up a little bit more about that, if you want. Sounds to me like she wants someone to talk to (which is common for college kids because of their recent removal from parental guidance).

    I cant really help you out with the girl, I guess just see what happens. Having a friend with benefits > having an annoying girlfriend > nothing.
     
  23. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Shes suicidal and cuts her self due to depression. I've been being a good friend and helping her through it, and she seems to be doing better. But she says she is still unstable and dosn't want to get into a relationship, hurt or kill her self and there for hurt me.

    For now we are just friends and with benefits, and maybe in time we will date (according to her), but I'm NOT gonna let my world revolve around it.
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    it's very considerate of her to stay out of a relationship. that's the kind of problem that can drain a partner dry
     
  25. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Yea, thats why I'm still friends with her and not just ignoring her. Plus the future could get better, you never know...
     

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