SRS Cold situation..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Cold, Aug 15, 2005.

  1. Cold

    Cold OT Supporter

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    Met this girl i had known in the past again, and things started evolving from that point..
    We quickly started clicking, and hanging out just enjoying being together.
    Then we started talking about feelings, and we both realized we were falling for one another..

    Then i have a really shitty experience, where i one day just kind of caved in..
    It felt like emotions i had closed away somewhere in my head, for the last 6 years.
    Just washed over me, and completely overwhelmed me.
    This lead to me almost going through with suicide, i've had suicidal thoughts before.
    But nothing like this, i was actually holding the knife to my throat..
    But i believe someone sent me a sign, because my dad decided he was going to drive home a day early.
    So he arrived before i could do anything, and im grateful for it..

    Now i was then happy for the next two days, then i was going to hang out with the girl again.
    So we just talk and chill, then when i kissed her i expected to feel really good.
    But there was nothing, it was just an absolute blank..
    Like there were no emotions inside me, it just felt like a routine of some sort..

    I thought i had feelings for this girl, but two days after the incident.. I had just gone blank.
    Since the "suicide" day, i have been emotionally dull. I feel so cold, like nothing makes me react..
    As if only my primal instincts make me go on..
    What is wrong with me? Any advice would be appreciated. :sadwavey:

    (no worries about the suicide thing, that day will never repeat itself)
    (knock on wood :o )
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Our own past can be our worst enemy, Its something you have to step over let go like water thru a drain. Only the water that you hold in your hand right now matters. Its not anything unusual sometimes skeletons from the past bounce out of the closet because they become too occupied. Try to review your feelings and give this relationship a chance and some time to devellop feelings of love for her, and then things will improve.
     
  3. Cold

    Cold OT Supporter

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    Thank you for the advice.. :)

    I now fear that i fucked things up because i acted pretty much indifferently to her mentioning that she was kind of involved with another person..
    But your right, i should just give it time.
    If it was ment to be, it will be..
    I will have faith in myself. :)
     

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