Clubs/Bars - What exactly is considered crossing the line?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sybian, Apr 22, 2006.

  1. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Fellas, would you be mad if your girlfriend went to clubs to dance with other guys? Furthermore, how pissed would you be if you didn't like that going on and she refused to stop?

    Ladies feel free to chime in too...

    More details:

    What if you weren't around for her to go with? Like, in different states or countries?
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2006
  2. low20

    low20 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2003
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    0
    id be really pissed if my girlw as going to clubs to dance with other guys. at the same time i would not go to clubs to dance with other girls. If she refused to stop Id prolly just end it. You know how dancing is these days, if my girl was rubbing and bumping up on another guy to me thats as good as cheating. My girl goes to a club like every week or every other, and i used to hate it, but she just goes with like 6 other chicks and they all just dance together so I dont mind, plus no and again ill go with her.
     
  3. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Right on...

    Now let me elaborate. My girl says that she goes with friends but these guys come up and she doesn't back away. She just keeps dancing with them. She claims that she doesn't "grind" on them but really, how else can you dance in a club in this day and age?

    I'm already having issues with this girl. 2 weeks ago she "held some guy's hand" on accident... She says and I quote, "If I'm not kissing them its not cheating.".

    I don't consider dancing with another guy cheating, but that's a shitty thing to say don't you think?
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2006
  4. Paintballer

    Paintballer Choo Choooo....

    Joined:
    May 22, 2001
    Messages:
    16,879
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    KCMO
    End it dude.............Save your self any more drama, end it, and get out there and find some new ass...........live it up being single. Be the biggest man whore you know.........
     
  5. Wilddog

    Wilddog OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2006
    Messages:
    4,138
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Toronto
    :werd:. Untrustworthy women are the same kind that will cheat on you when you're married. If she doesnt think holding hands and dancing with other guys is cheating, then shes cleary a whore with no moral value of herself. Save yourself the drama.
     
  6. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Actually if you weren't following the other thread I mad a week back, she was completely apologetic about the hand-holding. She was wasted and I gave her 1 strike for that... Its not an excuse however and I hear what you guys are saying.
     
  7. KingOfBabTouma

    KingOfBabTouma Hepinize daha iyiyim OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2005
    Messages:
    17,642
    Likes Received:
    127
    Location:
    Mersin, Turkey
    no, I would be looking for a new girlfriend who wasn't a whore.
     
  8. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    I hear that.
     
  9. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Messages:
    1,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Flori-duh
    If I were your girl, I'd probably be really relieved that you broke up with me. It would save me the trouble of doing it myself because why would I want to date an insecure control freak who didn't trust me?
     
  10. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Freaking other guys in a club is acceptable? You're all fucking whores.
     
  11. Jonari

    Jonari Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    31,196
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    Home
    Have you asked her how she's felt if you did the same thing? If you went to clubs/bars and was feeling up on some girl while dancing - how would she react to it?

    I don't mean to brag, but my gf straight up told me that she doesn't trust me that I go to clubs with my guy friends, bc I'll have the "opportunity" to cheat on her with another girl. She said she doesn't want me going; & in return she won't go either because she doesn't want me to have doubts when she goes out with her gfs.

    :hs:
     
  12. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Messages:
    1,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Flori-duh
    Ya'll need more trust in your lives. Life is too damn short. Why should your spouse (or you for that matter) miss out on doing something you enjoy just because the person you're in a relationship with doesn't like to do the same thing?

    People, grow the fuck up. It's dancing. You really think the guy your gal is dancing with is gonna shoot his load through his pants?
     
  13. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    That's not okay... What the fuck are you thinking? Its the act and the intent. Just because you have your clothes on doesn't make it ok. If your man won't come with you to the club that's one thing, but if he hasn't even had the opportunity to say no or is a country away, how can he help that?

    There are certain things you have to let go when you commit to someone. Grinding your ass into some guys dick is one of them.
     
  14. ndnxtc

    ndnxtc New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    3,208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SE MI
    Werd. Some people are way too uptight.
     
  15. low20

    low20 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2003
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    0
    im stillwith you on this one...how is it being uptight by saying that you dont want guys basically humping ur chick at the club? to those guys, they have 1 thing in mind. maybe you havnt been to a club recently or something, but dancing isnt like standing 4 feet away from the person, half the chick have their tops off and half the guys are basically humping girls on the dance floor...i wouldnt say thats kosher in a relationship...im fine with my gil dancing with her girlfriends, b/c i know she is just going out to dance cuz she likes to dance and it doesnt need to be with a guy groping her. i read uro other thread about her holding the guys hand...id say get out of there while you can. if all that shat went down just recently and now shes dancin with guys at clubs, i wouldnt trust her...
     
  16. Riot

    Riot OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    15,137
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Sno Cal

    :werd:

    dancing i can deal with. but when she admittedly flirts with other guys and she can't help it because 'that's just how she is,' i start to wonder where the insecurity ends and the wtf begins.
     
  17. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2005
    Messages:
    7,356
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Springfield, MO
    Most everyone here has been to a club in this day and age, and all know what kind of dancing goes on.

    I gave the advice to forgive your girlfriend in the first thread, about holding hands. Now she admits she doesn't back off when guys come up and dance on her. You, being a guy, know what those guys want, and she knows it too. It would be different if she were dancing with a professional dancer who was dancing just to dance. 99% of the time, a guy in a club is there to sleep with women.

    The longer you stay with her, the more of a tool you are.
     
  18. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    You see what I mean? I gave her the benefit of the doubt and forgave her the first time, and now this. You're right, if I stay in this shit its gonna wind up with me coming home one day to her fucking the mailman...

    Sad... Had such high hopes for this one too... :wtc:
     
  19. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Just to add more details, when confronted about this shit she says that its our generation gap (me being 27 and he being 20).

    She says that people her age see this kind of dancing as dancing and nothing more... What in the fuck? I don't care how old you are, since when did dry-humping someone on a dancefloor become acceptable practice for someone in a supposedly commited relationship?
     
  20. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2005
    Messages:
    7,356
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Springfield, MO
    I'm 19, and that is definitely a lie. Generation gap my ass. You are only 7 years older than her... I'm not a woman, so I don't know if women just dance because they love dancing and feeling sexy, or what the hell they are thinking.

    What I do know, being a guy, is that every guy dancing with her is thinking he has a good chance at fucking her. Assuming girls just dance to dance, and have no sexual correlation with it, then it would be okay for a girlfriend to go out and dance. In your girlfriend's situation, namely the hand holding situation, she said she just wasn't thinking about the hand holding thing, and didn't see any problem with it. Her mind just blocked it out.

    Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears. What happens when she is dancing on some very attractive man, and her mind starts to block things out again, and he says to her exactly what she wants to hear, in the perfect voice tone.

    Your girlfriend was testing you in the first situation. Seeing how you would react about the hand holding thing. You stayed with her, and forgave her. Now, only 2 weeks later, when things should still be very touchy and a sensitive subject, she is pushing you one step further. First hand holding, now dancing.

    You see where i'm going with this, and you understand. You see the problem you are faced with, now you have to choose what road you're going to take when you make a decision. Stay with her? Leave her? Change her? Change you? Lots of different options.
     
  21. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    I hear you... There is no changing me. I just got off the phone with her. She swears to god that she loves me and only me. The dancing is just something she does because its "fun". She refuses to acknowledge that it is wrong. I refuse to acknowledge that it is ok.

    We all know I'm right in this situation. By no means is dancing like that inside a club okay when you're in a relationship like this. She swears that it is what it is and nothing will come of it, and I believe her, however, some guy all over my girl is not okay.

    She's angry because she feels as though I'm forbidding her from doing this. I guess the move is to let her know how badly it makes me feel and hope that she doesn't do it. I'm pretty positive that she wouldn't fuck around on me. Its just that she doesn't take touch seriously. She's in theatre and shit and she says all the time that touching is a part of it. That it doesn't matter to her unless she's touching me. Sounds like bullshit I know...

    Maybe the girl above is right, maybe we're being to sensitive about the dancing. Maybe we should just let it go.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2006
  22. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Maybe you have a little different opinion than everybody because your marriage is open, isn't it? Not everybody is comfortable with that or wants to be in that type of relationship (notice I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, so don't take it as an attack of any kind).

    To the thread starter, you quite obviously don't trust your girlfriend. You DO come accross as more than a little controlling also. I honestly don't see what good is coming of your relationship right now, or what expectations you have of it.

    Your girlfriend doesn't want to miss out on having fun just because you aren't in the same city/state/country/whatever as her. You shouldn't have to forbid her (and to be quite honest, you're almost wrong in forbidding your gf to do anything-within reason). She SHOULD be respectful of your relationship, but that also doesn't mean she should sit at home and cry because she's not with you.

    I hope you sit down and take a sincere look at how you feel about her, where you see this relationship going in the future etc.
     
  23. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Someone please explain how not wanting your girlfriend not to grind on other guys makes you controlling? I just can't understand that.
     
  24. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Your girlfriend should want to not do that out of respect for you. For you to forbid her to go dancing (which is what I thought I read, but when I reread it just says that is how she feels) is wrong.
     
  25. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    It's not about dancing, it's about dancing with guys. If she wasn't dancing with other guys I doubt there would be a problem.

    This girl is an attention-seeker. She has low self esteem or some other issue where she needs to feel validated by getting random guys to slobber all over her. Will only lead to bad things down the road.
     

Share This Page