Christmas woes

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by yankeeschick14, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    Every year the boyfriend and I have this argument... and just had it again today. So I guess I'm looking for advice as to how the rest of you deal with this...

    Every year at Christmas I get depressed for numerous reasons, including a family that makes things difficult and a lack of funds to buy gifts for all the people I would like to, or time to make said gifts. However, my biggest problem surrounds that I never get to spend Christmas with the only person I really want to, my bf, and there's no time in sight when that will happen. My family lives in NJ, his mom lives in CT and his dad down south...his holidays are divided between his parents, and I'm stuck in NJ alone. Last year we tried to compromise, and spent Christmas Eve with my family and then Christmas Day with his family...and neither of us ended up happy because of all the rushing around and the traffic and whatnot. He just wants me to come with him this year, but I explained I just can't completely leave my family for the whole holiday.

    So I guess my question is, what do you guys in similar situations do? Are we just stuck being apart on Christmas forever, and celebrating on another day? :wtc:
     
  2. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    As somebody who has never celebrated Christmas, I don't really get what the big deal is, but do you really have that hard of a time compromising?
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'd still compromise. If it were me and my bf I would say fine, I will spend this Christmas at your parents place, as long as he agreed that next year he would spend it at your family's place. Your family will always be there for you and love you no matter if you spend the holiday with them or not. So compromise more.
     
  4. sassy2424

    sassy2424 New Member

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    we usually spend christmas eve at one of our parents and christmas day at the others... however that doesn't seem to work for you guys..
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Don't you get to spend the non-holiday time with your bf? Look at it this way, most of the year, you get to spend time with your bf.

    And at least for me...holidays don't necessarily mean that much. Well, holiday pay for work, which is nice, but its still just another day.
     
  6. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    nope, we dont get to spend most of the year together, LDRs suck like that.

    I guess we'll have to work out some other way of compromising. I just know that my family would be a bit put out if I could only spend every third christmas with them because of his two separate families. Of course, all the problems could be eliminated if I could just make everyone come to us.
     
  7. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    2 ideas:

    1) host xmas
    2) ask families to reschedule christmas events; spend the weekend before with your fam and then the weekend after with his; compromise. and if your family or his wont do this then just tell them you cant make it.
     
  8. GMtime

    GMtime New Member

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    While this might not work for the OP, I think this is great way to deal with this situation.
     
  9. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    funny

    I live in NJ, am feeling incredibly down that I can't afford proper gifts for anyone this year, and had the same issue in an LDR. And my cousin did as well.

    I personally would never miss a Christmas with my family because it's a really good time and we get along really well. If I couldn't be with my gf, that's what we had to deal with. Once the decision was made I couldn't dwell on it at all.

    While I would stay in NJ for Christmas, my cousin had no issues with routinely missing holidays to be with his girlfriend. And it was no big deal to anybody!

    Sure we wanted to see him and this and that, but who gives a shit what he does with his holidays? If he wants to be with her because he enjoys it more then more power to him! I loved my gf but I honestly would rather have been with my family for Christmas. It just wasn't worth putting the extra investment into a sort of romanticized holiday!
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Yea; no one really cares if you don't go.
     
  11. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    why not cook dinner at your place and invite both families to spend xmas together. the more the marrier and they will get to know each other and see how serious you 2 are and how much your love mean to each other.
     
  12. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    having both families come to your 'own' Christmas just forces the issue and is really artificial.

    I'm surprised people are recommending that.

    It might just be that I have a relatively big family gathering at christmas (even though it's only one side of the family), but I don't know many early 20s couples with a place big enough to host comfortably.



    So instead of having you two needing to compromise you should have everyone change their plans? Not good IMO.
     
  13. Mr. Bungle

    Mr. Bungle *lube'n up the shock paddles*

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    DING DING DING
     
  14. TiffanyTJB

    TiffanyTJB New Member

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    I have a similar issue with my Mr's family being a 3 hour drive away. We're spending the Sunday before Christmas at my mom's house and spending the night with his family on Christmas Eve, then driving home on Christmas night.

    I think when people get married they alternate holidays so you could probably do this too. If you're part of a committed long term couple both families will understand not having you around for one or two holidays a year.

    Can you alternate holidays, like you go one place for Easter and the other place for Thanksgiving then the Easter place for Christmas, or draw straws, or play rock paper scissors to see where you'er going to spend the time?

    Family is so important to my Mr that there will never be a holiday that he's not going to see his family. I know that even though we went there for Easter last year he's going to expect us to go back next year and skip my family again. This is something I'm just going to have to deal with if I expect to be in a happy relationship with him.
     
  15. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    thanks for all the input guys!

    obviously the ideal situation would be cooking our own dinner and throwing a big party for both of our families, but that's simply not possible in our current circumstances. one day.

    and yes, of course both of our families will still love us if we choose to miss one or the other for the holiday, and yes we do have to compromise-- which is what we have always done. Him especially, because he'll alternate thanksgiving and christmas between his mom and dad. This year our solution was to each go our own way and just be with our own families, but that left me a little sad.

    The solution is to just celebrate another day completely with each other, and use that as our christmas. Which will be a better, sexier christmas than it could have been with our families :naughty:
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Awesome :h5: Lucky for me my bf celebrates Chanukkah and I celebrate Christmas. This year we created our own Chrismakkuh tradition that we hope to stick by in the future :) Basically we choose special days for ourselves to open gifts and be together if we can't because of our families on our specific holidays. It's all about compromise.
     
  17. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    just celebrate the epiphany (3 kings day) in January 6 together and be done with it.
     
  18. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: :kiss:

    Holidays are crappy like that... and I had a discussion with my best friend about how it was hard to choose which family to spend Christmas with, to which he launched into a tirade about the lameness of holidays, the Hallmark poison and how the entire U.S. are robot consumers! But really, it's just because we get Christmas off of work, and can't take the whole week off. Sometimes I wish i was still a jobless student!!!

    Yank, have a good time with your man, spend your time together wisely... and by wisely I mean SEXY!

    DA
     
  19. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    no one ever celebrates three kings day here. we did it all the time growing up. it was such a fun holiday, without the stress of christmas and the like. :hsd:
     
  20. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    I've come to hate the holidays in recent years (all i do i work through them and get stressed out by other people being retarded), so i just try to avoid it. buy the necesary gifts if i can and just wor overtime on the big days. Since i work inthe law enforcement end of things, i have a great excuse to just avoid it all together.

    Since no one celebrates The Epiphany any more, I've taken it on as my favorite quiet little holiday.
     
  21. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    truth. but shhhh because i'm trying to make myself feel better about it than before.

    and guys, wtf is three kings day? sorry, i'm not religious at all, only been to church once in my life for the bfs cousins communion, so i'm rather ignorant of these things. The only reason Christmas is important to me is because it signifies a day to be with the ones you love, and it is important to people around me.

    and yeah PE I hate the holidays too, but I try and avoid telling the bf that now because it pisses him off. he's all joyous and jubilant and the works like a little kid.
     
  22. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    The epiphany or 3 kings day. January 6th is celebrated as the day the 3 wise kings came to baby jesus after following the star to his manger and gave him gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrr. It's celebrated in Europe and more Latin countries by roman catholics.
     
  23. BiG_aL

    BiG_aL New Member

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    my gf and I being in university, celebrated my bday/xmas 2 days before she left. I'm flying up to her place on the 28th to celebrate New Years. I'm hoping New Years in Montreal is better than New Years in Nova Scotia
     
  24. razi

    razi New Member

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    if you have the families come to you, plan it out so the parents all bring some food. potluck it up.

    I think best bet would be to set three days to visit each of the families (last one being christmas day), then rotate those dates through each family. it's a lot of travel, but that way you get to see everyone each year.
     

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