SRS Christmas gift / ex GF problem?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Avenger97, Dec 23, 2007.

  1. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    aight.. so yea i have a now ex GF.. but she is still in my life to a certain extent due to just having multiple bills in either My or our names , so i still need to keep it at least civil with her to get things paid on time ..

    She's had a rough time of making ends meet , partially due to her not making enough , and i think partially due to her still wanting to hang with her friends all the time and blowin money at the bar. We tried for a few weeks to Rekindle our relationship , and things looked pretty good , but i was having a pretty major issue with her having some 43 year old guy over all the time , though she says its just a friend ( BTW we are both 28). it eventally fell apart again , when i felt i couldnt count on her when i needed her ( short version : in the snow we had here last week my GTO got stuck at a gas station , and i asked her to come and get me , because she was close and should be able to make it in her car ,a AWD Chrysler Pacifica, she didnt want to risk it because the roads were so bad , and i ended up walking about 2 miles in the snow to get to her place, and have my dad come and pick me up in his Dodge Ram , while she was at her 43 year old "friends" house stuck she says)

    anyway during this time . i said id help her with getting gifts for her kids for christmas , cause without that , the kids would not have a christmas, and even though its her fault for not thinking ahead and saving money, i dont feel the kids should suffer because their mom cant budget money.

    we hung out for a lil bit , and i dropped about 300 on the kids total (100 per kid). Now i was gonna get the ex GF just a lil somethin for x-mas like a 20 dollar gift card to dunkin donuts or something , just because its christmas , and she was a huge part of my life this year. I know pretty well she wont get me anything , and i really dont expect anything in return, she keeps tellin me not to get her anything as in her words " she doesnt deserve anything from me "

    so i guess my question is should i just go ahead and do it? get her a lil 20 dollar gift card , or just say forget it , and not get her anything , like she isnt getting me anything??
     
  2. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    I've been tracking your threads about your situation with this chick... and I cannot believe that it would even cross your mind to buy her a gift after all that you have done for her...and after all that she didn't do for you.
    Your basically asking her, no, begging her, to take advantage of you.

    Giving $300 to the kids was a great idea, and I think I would of done the same because your right, they're not to blame... EXCEPT, I wouldn't have given her the $300. I would of bought 300$ worth of gifts and given it to each kid myself.
    That way you would of made sure she's not blowing off your money at the bar, as you have witnessed in the past.

    You have bills and what not in both of your names... is there no way that you can pay off whatever debt you both have in your name so you can cut her off and officially move on?

    Btw, if your ex was a good person (and maybe she is, I really don't know her so I don't wanna judge. But from what you post here, I don't like her :wiggle:), then a 20$ gift would have been appropriate.

    You sound like a great person, and its sad to see that your time, money, energy, and basically life is being wasted on a girl like this. :hs:

    Cliffs: Reading your past threads, she doesn't deserve anything... nothing, zip, nada. lol.
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    get the kids something and forget her. move on with your life and keep her out of it
     
  4. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    well actually this time i was was there , and saw what was bought with that money.. so i know the kids got stuff out of it. not like she can take it all back either.. since i have the receipt

    yea i tend to agree tho.. the more i think about it.. the more it probably a waste.. i guess part of me was kinda lookin for that "christmas miracle" as things were lookin good for a couple days, and we were getting along good.. but time and time again she has not proven herself to me, and at this point she really needs to ..
     
  5. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    So she has fun with her money instead of thinking about her kids, but you do and spend 300$ on them and you think about getting her a little something ? She already got herself some fun, don't get her anything. I'd even make sure she'd pay me back if I were you so that she learns a little bit what being responsible means.
     
  6. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    oh okay, sorry i didn't know that.. that was very smart of you to keep the receipt.

    We all have hope that people will change their bad habits; whether it be our family or friends or SO. And I'm not one to say that people can't change... but the reality is, usually it takes A LOT for people to change their bad habits. (As we are an example for ourselves). I have bad habits that I've been trying to change for years, and theres still no progress. But I don't know, to me it seems that your ex has more than just a few "bad habits". And her bad habits or whatever you want to call them, are badly affecting the people around her, especially you and her children. She's pulling everyone around her down (you), so she can stay on top.

    Her children unfortunately (unless they get fostered), are stuck with her. But you on the other hand have no major obligation (other than the bills you share) to stay in contact with her... yet alone buy her Christmas gifts.
    Personally, I think you've done MORE than your part, and have stuck around for more than a normal person would.
    Your end decisions and actions are totally up to you, but from an outside completely non-emotional opinion... you are wasting your time. You really need to focus on yourself and do what is it best for you. Because all this time and money going towards this situation is not changing her "bad habits" nor progressing the situation. And I'm sure you already know all this because your witnessing it with your own eyes.



    :hs:
     
  7. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    thanks for the advice , everyone.

    what i have decided to do .. is to cover all my bases , if i happen to see her x-mas day or eve, and by some shocking chance she gets me something , i'll have the gift card ready, if not i am able to "Re-gift" it to a friend of mine that im seeing next weekend..
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ok, what you did for her children was extremely admirable....but that's where you draw the line. This woman owes you money. Also, getting her a $20 gift card to Dunkin Donuts is proably the worst thing I have ever heard, she's better off with nothing but a note that says "hurry up with my money, get your life together for your kid's sake."
     

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