SRS Christian concerned as how deal with lack of relationship in life

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by established1985, Feb 8, 2005.

  1. uhhhhh, i'll keep this short and add as need be. basically, i wanted to write about how i feel awkward and alone in a society that stresses relationships (however unhealthy they may be).
    i feel awkward when looking for a woman i'm interested in for a relationship because my last girlfriend i had (3 years ago, almost 4) claimed she was pregnant (possible but unlikely since we didn't have intercourse, and i found out later that she's a liar who came up with the story to manipulate me back into the relationship cuz i broke up with her - sad to say it worked) which chain reacted into a cataclasm of events to me today feeling inadaquate, alone, and unable to help myself. basically, i have nothing good to look back on, and only bad things and memories where i was short minded & lustful.
    i'm a Christian, and i hang on because i know God has something for me, a plan that will shape the rest of my life to do something glorious for Him. but i hope it's not alone, and that i can get past my own emotions with God's help.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    If you're an actively practicing Christian, consider talking to your minister or pastor. After you work out a few things, Church social groups might be the thing for you.

    It's a shame things turned out poorly for you that time, but your past doesn't dictate your future. Consider the possibility that your trials could serve to strengthen you, and give you great insight into people and relationships. You'll carry these lessons with you into future relationships.

    Also, hopefully, your judgement of people will have sharpened and you'll be able to better safeguard yourself from persons of poor intent.
     
  3. well, sure lusting is natural for a man. it's a sin, to which sin is natural in and of itself. that doesn't make it okay.
     
  4. That may be true, but God is the judge, not you. You do your best to be what you are, and let him handle the rest. It's not your place to hang your shortcomings over your own head in order to limit yourself simply because you think God wants more from you. Admitting shortcomings is ok. Limiting yourself because of guilt and shame and self-judgment is not ok when you could otherwise learn from past error. Now *that* is sin.

    I agree with Johan, great insight.
     
  5. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    :werd: to what's already been said, and remember God never gives us more than what we can handle. Usually the right person comes along when you least expect it and when you're not focusing on it :)
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You know, I wonder why that is. Still haven't quite figured that out, exactly.
     
  7. I have. Because the right person is attracted to *you as you are* not the fool you're being while you prowl and strut.
     
  8. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    wow, thats excellent. i never really thought of it that way before.
     
  9. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    i used to beat myself up so bad when i went to church a year ago. i attended a sexual purity group where we focused on actual quitting masturbation and porn, ever week we would say what our number was for the week, i went the whole time with out porn but i masturbated kind of alot. i managed to go for 2 weeks (not back to back) without jacking off. some of the guys there that used to do it 3+ times a day went for 6 months with out stroking it. i was so unhappy then though because as a human i could never go a week without sinning...that group was slowly trying to make everyone in it 100% free of sexual sin, but everyone still lusts every now and then, even the 6 monthers, i know it because they tell me and even they know its wrong but i just could not stay in that because i cant keep beating myself up to reach a perfection that is absolutely unreachable!
     
  10. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    i agree with you, nothing is wrong with masturbation in itself.
     
  11. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    The Bible had alot to say about sexual sin....premarital sex, homesexual relations, infidelity, prostitution, etc....but I've never really come across anything about self gratification. About the closest thing I could think of (and I don't know the scripture offhand, but Paul (the apostle) said "It is better for a man to marry than to burn" and that is the closest thing I could find :dunno:

    EDIT: I did find this on a google search

    http://www.nccg.org/183.html
     
  12. i am sooooo totally thankful for your encouragement, all! i do wish to add that while masturbation by itself isn't necessarily a sin, it definitely opens a lot of oppurtunities that we must deal with, and case in point from before - porn and lusting.
    regardless, it is good to hear these things, not because it's what i want to hear, but what i need to hear.
    as for being alone in the future, i suppose it is ironic that i'm writing this on V-Day, a particular day of the year i have become cynical on for the past 4 years ever since i've started to understand (started, didn't claim i do understand) love and relationships. but i'm ok, for right now.
    maybe this will help someone else out there struggling as i do . . .i wrote this this afternoon in an emotional frenzy in class:

    Vanity -
    My God, my God,
    What have I done?
    I've abused the freedom me you gave me,
    And become a slave to the world I've found.
    My world I've created for myself removes sacrifice You've given & sacrifice required of me.
    Help me come home, my Father.
    I need Your light to guide me,
    I need Your voice to call me,
    My God, my Father.
     

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