Cheating and culpability

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MattThom01, Sep 25, 2007.

?

Is the single person culpable in cheating? (is he or she doing anything wrong?)

  1. Yes, the single person is in the wrong

    53.1%
  2. No, the single person is not doing anything wrong

    34.4%
  3. Other (put your own option)

    12.5%
  1. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So, there seems to be some conflicting attitudes about cheating here, at least among the guys.

    Some people seem to think that a guy is not culpable if he knowingly sleeps with a woman who is with someone. Others hold both people equally culpable.

    I'd like to see who thinks what, and get explanations as to why you think that.

    Personally, I think both people are culpable. If you help someone cheat, you are as much to blame as her. I'd be mad at both people if my SO cheated with some guy, so why should I make some other guy feel the same way?
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2007
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    If she isn't married I don't give a shit and if she cheats it is her fault only. If she is married then yeah some of it is the guys fault to. But ultimatly it is 99% her fault still because the guy isn't the one cheating - he's just the douche breaking up a family.
     
  3. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i don't see how it's not a huge turn off to find out the person is willing to cheat. not only is it wrong, it's unattractive....
     
  4. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I think it's only the single person's problem if the person being cheated on is a friend of theirs. Otherwise they are just helping that person find out what a cheating POS their partner is.

    The single person should only be sleeping with them for fun though. If they are dumb enough to try to have a relationship with the cheater later then they need a good slap upside the head.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Indeed. But I think MattThom is talking more about ONSs than about starting a relationship. Obviously you wouldn't (or shouldn't) start a relationship with someone who cheats with you because they've just demonstrated that they cheat and that's an immediate disqualification.
     
  6. jared_IRL

    jared_IRL OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure where to vote on this.

    At the end of the day, the person who's with someone is the one who has the responsibility to stay faithful. They are the one who is in the relationship, and they are the one who has made a vow (legal or otherwise) to be exclusive in that relationship.

    So I do feel that their decision to cheat deserves the brunt of the blame. Theres no doubt about it.


    With that said, I also believe that if a single person is aware that he/she is involved with a person who is in a supposed 'dedicated' relationship or marriage, they have a responsibility to end their involvement, on the grounds of a good moral standing AND out of respect for themselves.
     
  7. Boosh Dag

    Boosh Dag Guest

    I personaly don't hook up with girl in relatioships because I feel like a scum bag. But if I did do it, shes the whore, not me.
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you are making this too black and white. Obviously nobody is going to say that the guy that a girl has an afair with is a highly ethical person with impecable morals, but hes clearly about a thousand times less guilty then the person who actually breaks their word and breaks the trust of someone they profess to care about.
     
  9. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    no. the single person is not at fault. at no point did he/she decide to make or keep the other party a "morally correct" person
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    You guys boggle my mind.

    for me, both cheating and knowingly enabling someone to cheat are equal in their amount of wrongdoing.

    I'm seriously not trying to call anyone immoral here, just explaining my take on things. Am I in a minority? Old fashioned?
     
  11. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    The single person isn't in the wrong. I won't mess with a someone who is engaged/married, but if shes got a BF, I have no problem having sex with her.
     
  12. -=Likwid=-

    -=Likwid=-

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    both are wrong if they're aware of each others situations.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    however bad you think enabling someone to cheat is, i don't see how you can't view the actual cheating as an order of magnitude worse. did the "other man" break any promises? lie? hurt someone that loved them? no.
     
  14. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    How is it possibly equal? The "other person" didn't tell anyone they would be exclusive to them. It's not like cheating wouldn't happen if that other person said no, the cheater would just find someone else to cheat with.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I just find it disgusting that so many single people have no problem getting with those that are cheating on their SO's. I recognize that the cheater is obiously in the wrong, it just makes me sick how selfish and ignorant the people are who are helping them cheat ae. No one has any morals.
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I'm looking at it from a viewpoint of the single person.

    Seriously though...if a taken woman told you 'oh, I want to fuck you, I'm not happy with my boyfriend/husband" or whatever, you guys would just be like "Ok!"?

    I don't care whether she is going to cheat whether you do it with her or not. It's about you in that particular moment.

    It's about holding yourself accountable to your values and morals, having integrity.

    And here's my other question. If you found out your SO cheated on you, and the other guy knew she was your gf...would you be mad at the guy as well as the girl? Yes, obviously you would be mad at the guy less than the girl.

    I'll give an example. Say I am friends with you. I know your SO is with you, but he/or she says they want to fuck me. I do so. According to you guys, I did nothing wrong, so I am off scott free. Right?
     
  17. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    I think it says something about a person willing to break another relationship to get him or her for themselves.

    Says something about loyalty and morals.
     
  18. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I had to think about it a bit, but I feel that both people are in the wrong here. Obviously the degree of "wrongness" is different for each (the actual cheater with a s/o being worse) but I feel that sleeping with a girl that you know has a b/f is quite wrong.

    It is just not a cool thing to do. If that girl wants to go around ho herself to other guys when she has a man at home I do not want to be the reason that the guy at home is now torn up and hurt because his g/f cheated on him.
    I wouldn't want that happening to me, that is for sure.

    The one exception would be if I knew the guy was cheating on his g/f and she wanted to sleep with me, then I might have a lapse of judgement and nail her.
     
  19. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    The funny thing is though, everybody know it's wrong.

    But people who think they never would do it, well alot of them still end up doing it. You end up justifying it for yourself in one way or another. Like the person she is with is never home, or is an asshole, or doesnt love her, ect.. You find some dirt on them and use it.

    In the end you feel that what you get outweights what you lose. Thats when the true test of character comes
     
  20. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Very true.

    I have had opportunities to hook up with girls that were taken but passed. In some cases I knew the guy was a jerk to her, but I am not in the relationship and I don't know what is going on, so it's not for me to judge if it's ok for me to hook up with her based on the way he treats her.
    I guess it all comes down to the fact that I wouldn't want another guy hooking up with my girl if he knew I was her b/f....

    Unfortunately, most guys don't give a shit and would fuck a girl in a second regardless of her situation with a b/f or husband.

    The exceptions for me would be if I knew the other guy was cheating on her too, or if my ex (whom I still love) had a b/f and came back to me while she was still with him... then I would go for it, but I love her so that is different in my eyes.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    it depends.. i'm not sure. for example if my lover felt a stronger connection with someone else than with me, i would want her to pursue that. then again i would not make her choose between that and me. i don't know about culpability since i'm not sure the contracts people set up with each other make any sense in the first place.
     
  22. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    friends? thats changes everything.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    see, that's the difference I guess. I don't see any difference in fucking over a friend like that and fucking over some guy who I don't know.

    You're still doing the same thing, the only difference is that in my example, you know the person.
     
  24. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    there is a big difference between someone you know and a friend. A friend involves trust. Now you are talking about a similar violation of trust as the cheater.

    if you ever get cheated on twice, once by a stranger and once by a friend, you would know its worlds different in a heartbeat. it's twice the betrayal. I think you are blinding yourself to the obvious in order to prove your point. Obviously everyone knows sleeping with a married woman doesnt make you mother theresa.
     
  25. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    Not that I'm for it but the cheater is gonna cheat no matter what so why feel bad.

    I would never hook up with a friend's gf though.
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2007

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