SRS Changing Minds

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Clix, Oct 21, 2006.

  1. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    I always hate how one moment I can see how something can work out, given time, care, patience, persiverence (sp?), ect. Then its like 5 minutes later my mind just goes on how its dumb to think about how it could work out.

    Sometimes I just hate my mind and wish I was blissfully stupid.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Well if you destroy every idea by stamping it into the ground, nothing can ever flourish. You need to give yourself and your ideas a chance.
     
  3. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    Its not giving them a chance. Most of this crap is about my ex. So its just mentally taxing sometimes thinking about it.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Just spit out the full story on what's going on
     
  5. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    I just want to be with my ex again. After alot of bullshit I still love her. I dont know how she feels about me at all but I still have feelings for her. Alot of shit happened to me this last year and ive gone from being a kid to getting on track to being a man. I went to college to fuck around and screwed myself but im getting back on track and the more I get myself going where I want to be the more I want to see if there is still something between us. I almost joined the army 4 months ago and we talked and she told me that she would marry me although she was with another guy at the time. Told me she sees herself being married within the next year to year and half. I just have changed myself and even though I know right now im not far enough along on my journey to be where I want to be to even talk to her muchless see if there is something there im so close to being at that point and I just want to prematurely go for it and it takes alot for me not to sit down and write her an email or call her.

    When I think about her I think about how it could be perfect between us again. We could share all the things we once did. Then it jumps in my mind how things wouldnt work, it might for awhile but it wouldnt. I dunno really. Its just a shitty feelings.
     
  6. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    I've always thought it interesting how someone can suggest "I'd like to be married in a year to year and one half" when they are not currently in a serious relationship. I've heard it many time before.

    Without more information I can only add that what you want is what you perceive you ex-girlfriend to be, possibly not what she is. Has she changed since you all have been apart? As much as you possibly?
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    WTHell? What is this load of nonsense? Dude, I am not trying to be mean, but this is the biggest load of crap that I have heard in a long time. She's talking about how she would marry you even though she is currently porking another man? Listen to yourself... you want to be with this girl? Man, you have an infatuation, and if you want to be with someone who's actions are what this girls are... then you aren't ready for a real relationship. Any relationship you get will be doomed to fail because you don't have the necessary level of self respect that you need in order to have an equal and happy relationship. This girl knows she's got you so freaking whipped that she can feed you lines about how she would marry you even while she's giving it up to another man. What a complete lowlife (her), and if you were really looking around with open eyes and a clear head, you'd know to stay away from this future trainwreck. Wow. C'mon brother, don't ruin years of your life on this.... I'm warning you...
     
  8. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    i dunno man, its just how things have gone over the last few months. I dunno if anything would ever happene again. Right now I just am getting my shit straight. Its just been on my mind alot latly and I guess more than anything needed to just get something off my chest to relieve the pressure.
     
  9. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    We got into a fight and havent talked in a couple months. I know she has changed we have the same circle of friends and they all have told me she became a different person. Different in that she is mad alot I guess, I dont have enough info to even know.
     
  10. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    You know ive been thinking about this alot. I know why she said those things, I know why our relationship went down the hole. It was never lack of love, it wasnt hate, it wasnt anything other than the fact that she wants to know she will be taken care of (i.e. marriage, house, kids, not scraping together pennies to pay for things, ect ect). Im ashamed to say this but when qwe broke up I had no job, no place to live, no prospects, no nothing. I had her and that was it. You cant go off that alone and I became to much of a burden on her which pushed her away. This guy she is with now she likes but isnt in love with, he is older and about to graduate college from what ive been told and he has prospects and shit. Yes this may be shallow of her but based on her needs (mainly medical) she cant just do that.

    Right now Ive changed my life 180. I work 2 jobs pretty much full time right now and make pretty good money, enough I can live comfortably and dont have to live paycheck to paycheck really. I found my own apartment, i got my legal troubles back in order. I just pretty much have gotten my shit together. Im not where I want to be yet but im not far off. She came back to me that night becuase I was joining the army in 2 days. I was about to ship off. I was about to be in a place where I was finacially and everything stable atleast until my contract was up. I was in a position to be able to take care of her how she needs to be taken care of and how I would want to. Then something happened with my paperwork for the army (due to my legal troubles) and they cancelled my contract and I decided I didnt want to join anymore. As soon as I told her that she turned on me. She became the cold bitch that isnt the woman I feel in love with but the woman who would turn her back on me becuase once again I had nothing. Now I have alot. When I get to the point where I feel I can be there for her like I want to then i want her back. I dont want anyone else but her. I do love her, im still in love with her. I have no idea if she feels anything for me. Maybe its not meant to be and maybe she is changed and blah blah blah. Right now though id be a fool and kick myself for the rest of my life if I never just tired.
     
  11. Jas0n

    Jas0n Антихрист

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    It sounds like you're stable now, but can you promise without a shadow of a doubt that you'll always be? 'Cause it sounds like if you ever slip up and hit a low spot again, she'll hate everything about you ... especially if you've somehow managed to marry her, and have her more or less tied down (her thoughts, presumably).

    You should be looking for someone who loves you for you, not you for your ability to pay her doctor bills. Your interests need to align here ... if she's looking for someone to take care of her financially, and you're looking for someone to have and to hold, you're walking a tightrope here; one of you is going to end up hating the other somewhere down the line. With priorities so different, any success within your relationship would be only tentative.

    I of course don't know you at all, but if you're like the vast majority of the rest of the world, you're probably wanting someone who loves you... and in order for that person to be someone worth taking the leap (marriage) with, both you and she need to be more or less committed to a lifetime together, through thick and thin and rich and poor and all that good vow shit. From what you've said just in this thread, this ex of yours simply doesn't fit that bill.

    I understand your attachment to her, but I can guarantee you that it'll fade over time. That gradual fade will be expedited if you manage to find someone who does appreciate you for who you are (rather than how easily you can pay the hospital tab) and you see just what you would've missed had you tortured yourself to be with your ex. As impossibly cold a way to go as it may seem, you almost certainly need not only to stop trying to rebuild your old relationship -- you also need to seriously distance yourself from this ex.

    Cut her off completely maybe. You've got yourself pointed in the right direction otherwise, working and living comfortably. I know it sounds impossible, but let her go, enjoy your solitude for a while. Work your jobs, put your money back a little bit, play some, be comfortable... and when you've distanced yourself enough from this past relationship, get yourself on the market and find someone who is actually worth the investment of your emotional attachment. Good luck.
     
  12. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    She will have to have to have her hip replaced within the next 10 years. its not looking for someone to pay her bills. If she just wanted that she would have married the guy she dated before me. His father was a millionaire and offered his son and her alot of crap (money, jewerly, cars, ect). Yea part of it is that i guess becuase it is something she cant go without. Her hip will go out and then she will have to have it replaced. Its not like getting a flu shot or seeing the doctor about a cough. Its something serious that affects her life daily and she has to be concerned with her future about it.

    I wont always be stable but now I know what has to be done. Its not that she would leave me again its the fact that I needed to be left to get my shit together. Its one of those things that needs to happen to make you a better person. I can honestly say im better as a person becuase ive found meaning in alot of things that ive taken for granted and stuff. I really dont know how to explain it.
     
  13. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    It sounds like your getting the right ideas. Basically in my rough experiences with break ups you need to cut her off. No that doesnt mean she dissappears, but basically you need to learn how to be yourself again and live BY YOURSELF! She at one point took no thought or need/want in your life. You can get back to that stage. It isn't easy. But it seems like your emotions are making too many decisions. You need to get your life back to before and realize that maybe she isn't the best thing for you and see if there are others out there.
     
  14. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    just FYI we havent talked in a few months...I am getting my life straightened out first, its just the closer I get to that point where im stable and such I find I want to try again with her is all.
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    This woman wants you for what you posses, and not for who you are. Honestly this woman does not love you unconditionally, she loves you if you have money. And its quite unknown but there's a bunch of woman who set out a marriage deadline in their lives before they even have a man, they want to get married before they are 21 or something of that kind of crap.

    This woman is a leech more then a lover, sounds like your in love with a vampire dude, as long as you give her blood the monster will be satisfied :noes:
     
  16. lost04

    lost04 justme

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    totally agree..ignorance is bliss..what you don't know can't hurt you.lol
    sometimes i wish i were stupid too. haha
    to be able not to think so much.
    but that's impossible for me.
    lol
     
  17. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    thats good. You are correct the farther a long you get the more your memmories become positive ones. You will remember only the good things which is nature because we all like our happy moments. But remember they are a thing of the past. You are creating a new and more stabler better you. Not a more stable better "us". The us didnt work and your on your road to betterness. It's a rollar coaster just fight that sensation. You will come out ahead.
     
  18. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    She stood with me for over a year while I didnt have anything. The only thing I had was my dorm. I mean I dont want to go though all the details. I really dont know what i am to do. Last night i hung out with the couple that me and my ex did alot of crap with. Watching them together made me realize how much I miss her and just having fun with friends. now its weird becuase we kinda watch what we say around each other. I almost have half a mind to ask my buddy whos g/f is her roommate for advice or something. Im not quite sure. The only thing im sure of is that im not doing anything until i get into my new apartment and stuff.
     

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