Career and Interest: Good Thing or Red Flag?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Laserbeak, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. Laserbeak

    Laserbeak Remember kids! Be like Billy! BEHAVE YOURSELVES!

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    As a sort of spin-off of this thread: http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3636078

    I'm teetering between sending this to OnT or keeping it here, but I think since this question pertains more to the female response to this, I'll keep it here.

    I've never been one to fancy expensive clothes, fast cars, expensive trips, or rely on whatever methods men my age might employ to attract others (whatever that may be), so I think I can safely assume that most people just pass me by without as much of a second thought.

    I've always been the type that goes on my way, enjoying life the way I want to, being happy with who I am and where I am, and always doing what I feel is the right thing to do; I think some people refer to this as "self-esteem." :mamoru: I have a career, own a house, and two cars, both of which are paid in full, and I stay at home to help the rest of my family; I've never been married, nor have I ever had kids.

    Sometimes I can attract women that I can later become good friends with, regardless of my standing; most often simply pass summary judgement just because I don't look dress like the type that would indicate that I would be "successful" in life, and hence get treated as such.

    With this in mind, I'm confused; should I see it as a good thing if women that otherwise wouldn't really give me the time of day, if they suddenly take an interest in me because of my career and the direction it's heading in once they get to know me, or should I classify it as a red flag, gold-digger alert? Myself, I see this as a huge turn-off that really pisses me off, if not a major annoyance.

    I'll post more info if needed, it's getting late, and I should head to bed. I may be lacking some minute details, so I'll post it up as well if it's relevant.

    Losing...coherency...:sleep:
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2008
  2. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I wasnt involved in the other thread, but I'd really have to say it depends. Like if she really doesnt seem interested, but then sees your car, finds out your job/career direction and then starts calling you twice a day, well, that seems to be a red flag.
    Then again, if a girl were just moderately interested or unsure of her interest in a guy, something like him having a stable job/good career could be the tipping point. There are lots of fairly attractive, nice guys out there with zero career aspirations, so having a stellar job, etc. can really be a bonus. In this case its not because good job = money, its because good job = interested in personal sucess, good work ethic, etc. and thats important to some girls.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Gold digger alert.

    edit - good luck finding a chick who loves you for you and doesn't allow ambition or money or social status to enter the picture.

    edit 2 - qualify the fuck out of women using those things. Did you get laid off and your gf suddenly seems less interested in you or wants a break? Dump her and never speak to her again.
     
  4. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    start picking up chicks in sweatpants then you will know they like you for your personality
     
  5. Laserbeak

    Laserbeak Remember kids! Be like Billy! BEHAVE YOURSELVES!

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    You know, the more I interact with girls, the more I realize that I'm probably going to be happiest if I meet someone that's more or less on equal ground with me in many respects. It's just shitty that there's such a high volume of shallow people out there.

    Do you ever stop trolling? :ugh:

    As much as this may make me look like a hypocrite, can you walk personality down the street?
     
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    lol. women are genetically programmed to find a good mate. who can protect/support them. a rich man can do that since the police already protect them for free they just need osmeone to ensure their children's basic needs

    gold digging is a genetic response to ensure the safety/survival of their children.

    Every woman does it, some to a lesser degree.... want proof; here it is----

    LADIES: "How many of you would date a guy with no job, no ambition, no interest in working ever?"
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    That's not proof.

    This would be proof that women say one thing and do something completely different.

    I know a lot of banging hot girls who are dating/married to deadbeat guys who have no job and look like complete slobs.
     
  8. mavfan1

    mavfan1 Active Member

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    if someone asks you how much money you make...then you have a problem.

    if you have a great job, then yes, that is absolutely a great asset to have and women are attracted to stability and someone that has ambition
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Basically, you're not going to know until the gold digging tendencies come out in full force. So what if a girl gets more interested in you after finding about your job, car, etc? You will still need to determine if there is chemistry, if you and she are on the same mindset, have the same goals, etc.

    There are really easy ways to check for gold diggers...when out on a date, look out for her hinting that she wants things, or asks/expects you to buy stuff.

    Trust your instincts...if you start to get a bad/weird feeling about a woman, observe her more closely, see what you can find out about her by what she does.

    A gold digger will show her tendencies when she expresses what she wants to do, where she wants to go, etc. If she seems more interested in showing off, or being in places that reflect status than actually being with you, you may have a gold digger.

    "Let's go shopping!" (without indicting what for) would be an example of a HUGE red flag.
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Lol if a girl says lets go shopping just say Sure!

    then dont buy her anything.
     
  11. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Most women dont date you only for your money.

    If you have money. Then you hopefully are smart enough to know to protect yourself with a prenup.

    If not, or if you are all trusting and get fucked, you deserved it.
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    blah.

    I'd be bored with shopping...hence why I wouldn't go in the first place. She wants to go shopping, fine, she can always go by herself or with her girl friends.
     
  13. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    ermmm i used to not care about any of that and tought everyone deserves a chance to become something. My last 2 bfs prooved to me that no matter how much I try to help or wait on them to grow up, get a job and start taking on responsibilities, they were just unwilling to do so. Therefore from now on i would never even consider going out with someone like this. Not because i am a gold digger or because i want my man to take care of my kids or any of that, but because if i can hold a 9-6 job, make it there on time everyday for years and years and years, improve my self to be worth more and make more so i can afford to live in a certain life standard my SO should be able to do this as well.

    I dont look for SO who makes 2-3 times more than me, or has a n number of cars, houses, maids, boats or whatever else you can think of, but i also refuse to fall down back to being with someone who cant hold a job, who thinks playing games all day long wile smoking pot is the way to live, who want to live with his mom at age that no self respecting male or female would do just so he can escape responsibilities and growing up.

    You seem upset that someone didn't give you the time of the day because how you were dressed but when they found out about your career they seemed more interested. From my point of view if that happened to me If my first impressions based on how you look made me feel you are the type my ex was i wouldn't be interested but i also dont believe in first impressions because i have been wrong before. Instead of just completely distancing myself from you if i found you some what cute and interesting i would try to get to know you better and see what type of person you are. If i found that indeed i was wrong and you do have a good head on your sholders, work etics, career path and over all are responsible grown up man I would be more interested in you.

    You man do the same thing about females looks. I bet most of you wouldn't even consider a girl who dresses always in baggy jeans, sweat pants, baggy shirts and wear no make up or her hair is never in any practicular style, unless you become closer and found that she is actualy pretty open minded cool person who just needs to be encouraged more to dress sexy or elegant or whatever way you like your women dressed.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    sometimes you gotta spend time doing shit they want to do.
     
  15. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Thats my justification for not dating or even talking to fat women

    I ran 7.2 miles yesterday (new PR) in 50 mins (new length PR).... if i can do it they can too... if they cant then they are not a suitable match for my superior genetics
     
  16. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i do :mamoru:
     
  17. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    he doesnt have a job and doesnt want to get one?

    or just is in between jobs?

    are his parents rich or something?
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    if you are just talking about getting ass, your clothes and car don't matter at all

    if you are trying to attract a mate, then yes, these things can matter

    i've known unemployed alcoholics who got tons of ass
     
  19. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    what you are talking about is a woman having a minimum standard for the man she wants to have a long-term relationship with

    you fit the standard, so why does this offend you?

    you say she would "otherwise have nothing to do with you" which I translate as: "I don't generate enough attraction in her that she wants to jump my bones if I was broke"

    never forget that she will have one-night stands with men outside her standards for LTR
     
  20. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    couple of guys.


    one was just rich.... volunteered at the library. one was heavily in debt, played wow all day. one just doesn't like working, and when i met him he was taking time off. they all had passions, work just wasn't it.


    i've never been one to define people through their careers or kids.
     
  21. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I dont think the idea is to define someone by their career though. Its defining them by the fact that they have a career regardless of what it is.
     
  22. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    and what good is that? if you don't have to work, should you on principal?
     
  23. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    it all comes down to why you dont have to work. If you are rich and just dont need the income then no by all means, but you still can act responsible and manage your finances and live meaningful life.
    If your parents are rich or you spous and all you do is live like a parasite not moving a finger, not caring about responsibilities or have any point or direction in your life then yes you should most defenetly work.

    I am using the word you as generalization and is not aimed at anyone in practicular.

    For me personaly if i won the lottery or inheritted enough to not have to work I wouldn't. However i will invest and try to make that money have a return and growth, I would travel all over the world wile i can, then once i have kids raise them and work on their and my husband's needs, if i get borred i might start freelancing or finish the game i started designing. One thing is for sure i wont lock my self behind a game 24/7 drinking or smoking because i have done this with my ex and is boring, worthless and a huge self esteeme killer.
     
  24. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    sigh. you don't get it, and i don't have the time to explain.
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I have a better question:

    If you don't have to work, what WOULD you be doing?

    And why aren't you doing that NOW. :hs:
     

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