SRS can't handle my boyfriend's smoking habits

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by chainsawbarbie, Apr 1, 2006.

  1. chainsawbarbie

    chainsawbarbie New Member

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    It's actually making me feel very down all the time.

    His weed smoking started out as a once in a while type of thing. Now, it's multiple times a weekend in large doses, and he just got a prescription card to open the door for more weed.

    In the last 8 or so months, he has spent nearly 500 dollars on weed/weed paraphenalia.

    I've been with him for 4 and a half years, and I don't want to leave him, but I just feel appalled by his habits with marijuana. I've talked to him about it... he says that his health is fine and he's never had better academic/physical performance.


    I still feel very depressed, and I'm actually beginning to feel hostile towards him.

    Am I wrong?
     
  2. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    There has to be something else that is making you hostile besides his marijuana habit. A habit can annoy and frustrate us, but it should not make one hostile towards somebody. Are you sure you are putting in all the details herE?

    Is he being inconsiderate about where he smokes? I do not like cigarette smoke and while i would not automatically turn away someone who smoked cigarettes, i would ask that he smoke a distance from me, not smoke in my car or living space i lived in or we shared, and I would set other groundrules to ensure that the habit is not done around me. If your boyfriend will not compromise and meet you halfway, you should consider giving him some time to order his priorities. Normally i don't advocate ultimatums, but if your boyfriend values weed over you, then maybe you two just need to spend some time apart.

    In all honesty, i don't see the big deal if his performance is not slacking, he is not losing a grip on reality, and isn't selling and moving stuff through the house. if he is starting to invite suspicous characters around, I would have the same concerns as you, but if he has been himself m has been responsible, and the problem is that he just smokes weed, I don't see the big deal
     
  3. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    500 dollars on weed/parapharnelia is not much. But if smoking the ganja is becoming an obsession with him, you may need to step back and say "what is more important here? The toke or me?"

    If you truly think that he values smoking the ganja over you, you need to rethink the relationship.

    You also didn't say how old you are. If you're in your early 20's, I'd say give him the boot and move on. Trust me, there are other fish in the sea, and a lot of those fish don't spend time smoking weed.

    Smoking, be it cigarettes or weed, is a deal breaker for me, but hey, that's just one girl's opinion.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I had to hammer forever to get my dad rid of his smoking habits, he'd be dead by now if i didn't intervene. So, you have to make the same decision into hammering it into his mind that he has to stop destroying his own body, that you don't mind him enjoying but that he must do it with 'measure'.

    Whenever he goes smoking weed, you get out of the same room, and do something else (like a hobby) somewhere else.
     
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: What is the real problem you have with it?
     
  6. gsxec

    gsxec New Member

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    Let me guess he DOESNT have a job, a car, good relationship with his parents, goals, etc...

    He HAS unpaid fines, warrants, owes money on the "Front", Has retarded nogood friends like himself, etc...

    Would rather smoke weed than bang his girlfriend....

    [​IMG]

    And for those of you who smoke, Im not agianst weed Im agianst smoking all the fucking time as if it is the only thing that matters in life as she mentions.
     
  7. PaddoK

    PaddoK Some dolphins get massacred, some dolphins get blo

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    For the record, since I am Chainsawbarbie's boyfriend, I'll chime in. I'm currently a junior at the University of Southern California. I have a high GPA, in multible honors societies, and am aiming on going to a top tier law school.

    I'm also on the USC wrestling team, durring my free time I lift weights heavily 6 days a week.

    I also run a business on eBay, buying and selling musical instruments. Though to my girlfriend $500 may seem like alot over the last eight months, I've sold $2500 in guitars this weekend alone, so I don't mind spending money on something that makes myself and my friends happy.

    I pretty much smoke only on the weekends with friends. I highly enjoy the social aspect of it. I'll have a beer or two now and then, but I'm not a drinker. Nor do I smoke cigarettes. My girlfriend happily smokes with me and even wants to smoke sometimes when I don't.

    I have a car, a good relationship with my parrents, and many goals in life.


    I do however have an unpaid traffic ticket, because the police gave me two no front liscence plate tickets on consecutive days :noes:
     
  8. Maliboost

    Maliboost New Member

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    if you have a card, so be it. would she rather have you on oxycontin or something, weed is really pretty harmless, try not to smoke it if you can, as it hurts your lungs, get a vaporiser or bake it into food, with those methods you can get the benifits witout the health harms


    to the girlfriend: don't try to change him, it is his life not your's. i don't mean to be a dick but women like to give ultimatums, and thats not cool. either accept it or leave don't make your choice into his choice. if you don't like it leave him.

    back to the boyfriend, respect your girl but don't let her try to control you. if she doesn't like it try not to do it around her if she isn't in the mood

    how I see it is she is jealous that you are spending time with your buddies doing it. Don't smother him, it will only lead to resentment. he has his own life just as you, you wouldn't like it if he smothered you, you go out with your friends too (i hope) if not you should, you should spend time together but you also need to spend time with your friends, if you don't it will lead to problems
     
  9. Maliboost

    Maliboost New Member

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    and 500 in 8 months is nothing, you could spend that much by going to the bar and drinking 3-4 beers every friday and saturday night
     
  10. gsxec

    gsxec New Member

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    I find it hard to believe that your girlfriend would do a long post bitching about you, when your also a subscriber.
     
  11. PaddoK

    PaddoK Some dolphins get massacred, some dolphins get blo

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    Why not, she gave OT the nice version of what she said to me. :hsugh:
     
  12. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    What about your health? What about when you get an addiction and your priorities change?
     
  13. Maliboost

    Maliboost New Member

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    chocolate is more addicting and more harmfull to your health compared to pot
     
  14. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I can't enforce it to you, i can only advice. PaddoK enjoy, but smoke with measure. I think it would be beneficial for you to 'ease' your gf's heart. Its actually a point where i stand powerless, because you aren't the one who came into this forum for advice. I can only hope that you can come on good terms with your gf.

    All the best,
    Darketernal.
     
  15. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    can the girlfrield elaborate on this?
     
  16. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    Fat v mental problems. I know what I'd rather be addicted to
     
  17. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    500 bucks a month is pretty easy for some people to do, in 8 months thats nothing.
     
  18. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    what mental problems are supposed to arise from pot? And the addiction to post is mostly psychological and even then, the psychological "addiction" will taper off. it's about attitude change more than it is getting off pot
     
  19. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    Try living with two people that have been affected psychologically by an addiction to marijuana.

    I'm not saying it affects everyone in the same way, but I'd rather not try and second guess whether or not I have a predisposition to having mental issues.
     

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