SRS Can't Get Over My Ex

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by sdubz, Dec 13, 2008.

  1. sdubz

    sdubz New Member

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    Its been almost a year now exactly since I broke up with my girlfriend of three and a half years. To sum things up..im 20 and we met when we were 16 and through our knowing each other of 4 years, we have gone out for three and a half.

    When we first started going out...it was a dream and totally perfect.every aspect. The last year of our relationship started to turn bad when i discovered an email from an ex that she had a conversation going. I read it and it was totally harmless, but my hormonal teenage me was super upset and that eliminated all the trust i put into her. I came to my senses somewhat, and this problem of trust never fulling came back and haunted and plagued our relationship til the end. It turned from the best relationship and most happiness ive ever had to both of us being utterly depressed. I know a lot of it wasnt just my fault but this is a huge factor in everything.

    After we broke up, right before new years...i went a little crazy and smoked and drank a lot along with other things *sniff sniff* *pop*...i also ended up hooking up with some random girl on new years...who i do not even know her name...pretty bad.

    I went back to college that semester and was very depressed still and shunned myself away from all my friends at school to the point where by summertime, i was not close with any of my friends who i was so close with throughout the first year of college. that summer was better because i was at home and i got an internship which helped me a lot with getting my mind off her and focus on improving myself.

    Now, I made a conscious effort this semester to be happy and have branched out and made some few quality friends. I do not party as much and am more responsible too and doing really well in school this year. However, i still am not genuinely happy and think about her every day since we broke up. we still talk occassionally but i know theres nothing to salvedge. she told me the other night that she went on a date with a guy.

    this was a shock to me and pretty surreal and im trying to cut her out of my life altogether and we are not gunna talk anymore (supposedly)

    I hope and think im on the right track but i would like to hear your opinions and thoughts..anything would help...especially since i havent told ANYONE THIS :hs:

    Any questions, too, lemme know
     
  2. Ricky

    Ricky █▄ █▄█ █▄ ▀█▄

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    why are you still talking to her?

    You are just going to find out how well she's moving on without you and it will just hurt you more.

    But eventually you'll get over it. I got out of a rough breakup after 2 years. Girl cheated on me w/ some real old guy. Kinda fucked up but whatever.

    Some people just take longer to move on. I though i'd never move on, but sure enough im already doing a good job. The way i began moving on was simply ending all contact with her. Anything that reminds you of her and stuff would just go.

    Find new friends and a new girl. Maybe you just miss the feeling of being loved or loving someone? There's more then one girl out there, just like her.

    And don't feel bad, like it's your fault. When i found out my ex was talking to her ex i didnt care. Until i realized that their innocent conversations turned much worse. Of course like you, i decided to blame myself and believe i was overreacting. Instead i found out the worst.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    1. Stop talking to her completely
    2. Get rid of anything that reminds you of her
    3. Don't check up on her in any way
    4. Keep going out with friends and meeting women

    You aren't even a quarter of a century old. College is one of the best times of your life! Live it up, have fun! Don't worry about having a girlfriend, just date casually (since you aren't ready for a serious relationship with anyone right now).
     
  4. sdubz

    sdubz New Member

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    thanks for the advice...you guys are right.

    its been hard finding a new girl though...i have met a lot of girls and a lot of them like me but I have had problems in staying attracted to them. once they start to like me or when we go to kiss the first time, its hard for me...like i dont even want to do it or am attracted to them anymore. is that normal?

    i end up just going through the motions...i guess i just dont really like these girls and want something deeper...i guess i just have to wait til that perfect one comes...since im so picky
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    But that's just it, don't worry about staying attracted to them, don't worry about having a "relationship" with them. Just date casually. Have fun while you are young enough to do so because once you leave college you will find very quickly you don't meet 3/4 as many women. If you learn how to date well you will be better equipped for once you are out of college and have to meet women on your own. If you happen to meet an amazing girl when you are least expecting that's a bonus!

    And yes, what you are experienceing is normal considering you are not over your ex and are most likely subconsciously comparing them to her. Once you spend a few months not talking to her and still dating it should be much better :)
     

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