SRS Cannot get over someone....

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Naturally Baked, May 19, 2009.

  1. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    I keep having dreams about them, thinking about them, wanting to come up with excuses to talk to them.....its not going to work out and for the last 8 months or so I haven't been able to get over it. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about it and honestly just want to cry sometimes. I get really depressed on certain days thinking of what it was supposed to be like, or what i thought it would be like at least....How the fuck can I get over someone and find someone new? I've tried dating, having sex with other people and nothing has worked. I haven't made a connection to anyone. Have I just not found the right person? I keep looking and cant find anyone, but maybe thats because I am looking for a clone of him. :wtc:
     
  2. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    This. You never truly get over someone, you just find a good enough reason to move on and accept it. You also need to find some value in other parts of your life in the mean time because dwelling does you no good. It isn't easy, but its times like these that growing as an individual is so important so you don't fall into a rut.
     
  3. Boy Bravado

    Boy Bravado fuck this

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    I've broken up with this girl who I thought was perfect for me just a week ago.

    Makes me kinda :hs: thinking what I might be like 8 months down the road.

    Distract yourself, get a hobby, something that makes you feel good.

    Me, I just recently took up guitar playing. I'm pretty horrible at it right now, but it does help me to keep my mind off how shitty my life is right now.
     
  4. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    This fucking sucks :wtc:

    8 fucking months and every time I think about them I wanna talk to them....I cannot find anyone who I like enough to build that strong of a relationship with :(
     
  5. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    You will, trust me. It does suck - there is no magic method to getting them out of your head. You just need to bear down and find something, anything, that you can focus on.

    If you're constantly seeking someone to fill that void you won't be successful. You'll always be comparing them to the last person which is unfair to do because everyone you get close with you affect you in a different way. Ultimately you'll end up settling just for the sake of having something.

    You really need to focus on yourself. Find something to become a part of, indulge in something you've always wanted to do, or learn about. The next person will come along eventually, and generally when you least expect it.

    Edit: every good thing lost is just the negative way at looking at a new opportunity gained.
     
  6. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    Thanks :)


    I've tried to just make normal friends so I can start going out more, being 21 has helped since i can go to bars but sometimes I see him there and it sucks but at the same time I like it because I like seeing him. Ive also got a new job so I guess thats good, I like the new job. IDK....it just hurts so bad :hs:
     
  7. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    We're blessed and cursed when it comes to emotion - in order for us to feel the highs in life there must be a contrast, and thus the lows. You'll get through it, stay strong.

    :hug:
     
  8. Tom Ford

    Tom Ford OT Supporter

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    you're lusting after straight men NB, all this advice above still applies though, :)

    my best advice as another butt-pirate: come out. it's so much easier to meet and date people if you're honest with your friends.

    you put him on a pedestal so much. by the way, I know a homo I could introduce you to. he loves clothes, is italian, and super skinny :hs:
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Grief takes awhile to work through for some people. The less you fight it -- giving yourself permission to really feel the loss of this person -- the faster you'll actually be able to let go.

    Forcing yourself to move on doesn't allow you to move on, it creates exactly the opposite, it causes you to hold on tighter.

    It won't matter how many people you meet or how many you have sex with -- where can you run to escape from yourself and your grief? Nowhere.

    So feel it, truly, deeply, meaningfully. Writing a note to the person (but not sending it) helps assist in this process, that way you can really think and feel it out.
     
  10. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    :eek5:

    Its just because he and I literally did EVERYTHING together for 5 years! We vacationed atleast twice a year with eachother, shopped, ate, laid around, drove around when we were bored and I just miss it. Even him as a friend I miss...I haven't had anyone that I've been that close to who wasn't blood related before him.
     
  11. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    Thanks for the advice :hs:
     
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    What happened? Did you tell him you wanted more than friendship and then he stopped wanting to be your friend too?
     
  13. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    no, we moved in together and got in an argument over gas money. I let it go, he didn't, things blew up and I basically told him everything I didn't like about him. We didn't talk for a month, he moved out.

    those are basically the cliffs
     
  14. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    Thanks, thats EXACTLY what im doing and I notice it getting better. I am taking 2 summer classes and working an awesome job where I can meet people.
     
  15. Roasted

    Roasted New Member

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    The fact that you run into the guy every now and then probably doesn't help. I would find a different bar to hang out at.
     

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