SRS Cannot deal with the parents anymore

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by CustomTrendzInc, Mar 2, 2009.

  1. CustomTrendzInc

    CustomTrendzInc New Member

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    I am 18, russian, came here from a foreign country with my parents when i was 8 1/2. I didnt really have many friends until highschool and didnt start serious dating till senior year(this year.) I dont have a job at the moment due to my work authorization card expiring and im waiting on a new one.

    My parents are complete nazis. I have to be home at 9 during the week because my mom "cant go to sleep if im not home." My dad always calls me a retard and a idiot no matter what i say and if its a simple mistake he will keep going on about it forever.

    I can barely hang out with friends since i have to be home at 11 on the weekends. I barely go to concerts because me and my friends hang out in the VIP room with the bands and the concerts are usually over at 12.

    I have a girlfriend of a month now and my parents always call her a slut and a bitch even though they dont even know her that well. They say that because i spend everyday with her at her house or here at home.

    My mom always starts yelling no matter what if i try and reason with her about why i cant do something. They HATE driving me to her house(5 min drive, 45 min walk.)

    Today is a snow day and i asked if i can get a ride to the girlfriends house and my parents said no. So i asked if i could walk because they bitch about me never walking there. She ends up yelling at me saying i cant walk to her house because its too far...

    The list goes on of shit i cant do, i cant be out and miss dinner, i cant change plans on them. For example few days ago i was at the girlfriends house after sleeping over a friends house. I talked to my mom if i could stay over the friends house again. She asks me to call her so i do and she ends up crying on how i never do anything with them and how i act like im homeless. She tells me she will be picking me up at 10. I text her, since she hung up on me telling her to pick me up at the friends house instead at 10 because we are going there to watch a movie(his house is like 10 min walk from the gf's house.) She ends up calling me and yelling and said she would pick me up right then and there(like 7 o'clock.) On the way home she cried on how having boys is a bad thing because they wouldnt want to to anything with their parents and once they move out you will never hear from them again.

    any tips on what i can do to help them see what im going through? Or am i fucked till i move out?

    TL DR: moms crazy, dads crazy, cant wait to move out
     
  2. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    It sounds like your parents don't have lives of their own and so all their thoughts and energy are focused on you.
     
  3. CustomTrendzInc

    CustomTrendzInc New Member

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    all they do is work, come home, do shit around the house and watch tv. maybe every 2 weeks they will spend time with their friends but thats about it.
     
  4. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Is your name Joey, by any chance?
     
  5. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    :eek:

    u r a duplicate of my family

    i swear
     
  6. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Sounds like they're afraid of losing you...
     
  7. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    no, russian families have this respect bullshit and how they cant live it down if their kids embarrass them and yada yada..so easiest thing to do is put them on lockdown

    my mom used to pull that "cant sleep till u r home" bullshiit..i finally had enough and told her it's her problem and to deal with it
     
  8. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    what state r u in?
     
  9. Raisedshoulder

    Raisedshoulder Some Blode.

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    You never lived in AZ by any chance have you?
     
  10. CustomTrendzInc

    CustomTrendzInc New Member

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    im from CT and no im not joey haha. I fucking hate having foreign parents : /
     
  11. northw3st

    northw3st New Member

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    tough it out until you can be on your own. that's really your only option.
     
  12. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Based on my experience, people from Eastern Europe/Western Russia (I don't know about the eastern part) will escalate personal conflicts to the point of violence to see who is willing to stand their ground longer, instead of bothering with the ins-and-outs of rational debate like Westerners prefer. My mother is from Hungary, and as I got older that's basically what every disagreement turned into -- who could be more intimidating. Obviously it was an approach she was doomed to lose, eventually, but it's effective for me nonetheless. I don't like it, and I've never hit her, but nowadays I basically go straight to the nuclear option of threatening to write her out of my life if she doesn't back down. She always does. She's the only person I do that to, and God help me she's the only one I ever will do that to.

    You're still functionally a minor, since you're still living with your parents, so that's not as much of an option for you now, but once you get out of the house and you're standing on your own two feet you should be able to use it to good effect. Tuck it away in the back of your mind and only bring it out when necessary.
     
  13. CustomTrendzInc

    CustomTrendzInc New Member

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    i wont be able to do that to her, i do love her and all but sometimes she just gets on my nerves. I just tell her how its not russia and things are different here.
     
  14. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I love my mother because she's my mother. Unfortunately, there's not much more to the relationship than that, at this point. If you can end stupid arguments with her in your favor without resorting to the "nuclear option", more power to ya.
     
  15. CustomTrendzInc

    CustomTrendzInc New Member

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    I wish, i try and reason with her most of the time and she does give some good reasons/shit she thinks is right. Once im done with spring break which she is paying for im just going to do as i wish. Get my ears pierced, get dermal anchors done, and go places i want to go without having her bitch about where im going.
     
  16. rr1396

    rr1396 New Member

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    leave as soon as you can, that way you won't have to answer to them or put up with their bullshit.

    i take it telling them how you feel has not worked correct?
     
  17. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Escape today.
     
  18. CustomTrendzInc

    CustomTrendzInc New Member

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    i have told them and they go on about how they always do shit for me etc.
     
  19. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I'm sure they do. The problem is you don't necessarily owe them for all those things they do for you. There is a certain amount of responsibility and obligation involved with parenthood, unless you want your kids to fall on their faces when they leave home.
     
  20. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    Yay Ct! Honestly you're probably fucked until you move out and they come to terms with the fact that you aren't their little boy. I think what you are going through is just the result of having immigrant parents.
     
  21. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Think of it this way high school is almost over so you either go on to college or move the fuck out, you're 18 now no need to stay at home anymore but while you are under their roof you pretty much have to follow their rules
     
  22. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    :rofl: Nice way to put it.

    I have one too. Hungarian. Communist emigrant.
     

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