Cancelling dates

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by NCS, May 24, 2007.

  1. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    Lets discuss this. Everyone who is about to scream "dont play games" gtfo of my thread, as I am not discussing intention, morals, etc, but tactics.

    I had to cancel a FIRST date lately and stopped and tried to think about her future reaction, and I came to the conclusion that cancelling a date (but not at the last minute) could actually be good form.

    We wan't what we cant have. Cancelling makes us more unavailable, plus she's already agreed, so there is some form of investment. Thinking on when people have cancelled on me its always just made me want them more.

    Case A: I want a girl, she cancels on me, I want her more.
    Case B: I don't want a girl, but somehow we decide to hang out. She cancels on me. I may still not want her but somehow her value appears higher.

    So, argue against me. Why NOT cancel a first date?
     
  2. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    I don't think canceling a first date will make her want you more.

    If a girl flakes on me, it will make me like her less. I don't want a girlfriend who's completely unreliable. The girl is probably thinking the same.

    However, it's true you don't want to be TOO available. So your underlying thesis has merit. I say cancelling 1 out of every 3 dates is a good idea. But definitely not the first one since you never get a second chance at a first impression.

    If you take this "we want what we can't have" hypothesis so seriously, why not be a complete asshole to everyone, tell all women to FUCK OFF on sight, never give your phone number, etc? Will that then make you infinitely irresistable?
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Depends on the level of rapport. If I am in good rapport and highly attracted, I'd be much more likely to accept a reschedule. If rapport is not great I would assume that they are just a flake and would next her.
     
  4. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    Do you have a reason other than trying to make her want you?
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Cancelling on me is a sure fire way to never get another date, I know that much.
     
  6. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    this is theoretical. i cancelled because i had to (real, valid reason) but it just got me thinking
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    In general, I believe this will increase her interest level in you.

    Personally, I do my best to live up to my obligations, so if I make a date, I will follow through on it unless an emergency arises.

    Now, as far as tactics, I think that if you are trying to date the type of woman who will cancel on YOU, or is hard to get on the phone, or you call and she says "Hey let me call you right back," then doesn't:

    With that type of woman, I think you have to do it right back to her. She cancels a date, you cancel a date. She doesn't return a call, you don't return a call. It doesn't have to be "tit for tat," but I think in many ways women treat men the way they want to be treated.

    If she's treating you bad, she probably wants to be treated bad in return (on a subconscious level).

    This really isn't a tactic you need, imo. Because if she's highly interested, you will get plenty of mileage from refusing to chat with her when you call to make the date invitation.

    Then if she texts you between the invitation and the date, you don't respond. Or if she calls to chat you aren't available.

    Call her only to make the dates, and see her only on the dates themselves.

    If you do this, you will keep her interest elevated so high that you won't need to break a date.

    My friend recently met a woman, got her number, then called to make the date invitation.

    The woman tried to get really chatty on the phone. He chatted a little more than I advise, however he was off the phone within 5 minutes. And if she tries to call between then and now, he isn't going to answer or he's going to be busy. This will help keep her interest high.

    However, if the girl isn't truly interested in you as a person, but only for what she can get from you, then canceling on her will most likely piss her off (good).
     
  8. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    really well thought out answer Yail, thanks for the detailed views.

    In general i do a short phone conversation, make a precise date, and show up.
     
  9. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I'm with Yail, no need to play games if the girl isn't playing games. However, if the girl does play games this tactic works like gold. However, I don't cancel the dates. I just say, I am busy Monday-Friday, but I might be available Saturday where we could X Y Z. Then on Saturday tell her that yeah, I wasn't able to finish my work/whatever, and I am not free.

    Or the girl will invite me out with her and her friends to a bar or something, I just don't show.

    Again this is only to girls that play games; I don't condone doing it to normal respectable girls. But it always works to up their interest in you, because most girls that play games with men do it for sport. So when they find a guy that isn't playing by her rules it intrigues them. It is basically, the same theory that applies to all women; don't do the same thing the last 100 guys did. And for a girl that play games the last 100 men let her get away with her BS, and she gets bored and moves on to her next victim.
     
  10. This needs to be stickied.
     
  11. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    It is sometimes beneficial to cancel and not answer calls and flake in order to demonstrate value.

    However, it comes at the price of losing rapport and trust.

    If you expect that she is going to flake, flake first to build value. If you don't expect that, there is no reason to flake - the entire purpose of all game is to get to see the girl again so you can build value. What you can do in person is >> what you'll get by flaking the first date.
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  13. Maffy29

    Maffy29 Active Member

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    I was supposed to meet this girl for lunch. She canceled on me the day before because she "might have to babysit". I never scheduled another...
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I was just about to post the same thing, except replace "guy" with "girl."
     
  15. I am the beast.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 26, 2007
  16. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    :werd: similarly with me. If I was about to have a date with a supermodel and she canceled on me, I would be done too. Because I'd be able to find and pickup another supermodel with no problem :rolleyes:
     
  17. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    First thing I'd think would be he's not interested, which is cool although he could have just been honest from the start, I respect that. Second thing would be he's trying to pull some kind of trick, and then I'm definatly not interested.

    So pretty big negative regardless his true intentions.
     
  18. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    Lol, I edited in the :rolleyes: to demonstrate my sarcasm after you saw my post, Alaya.

    Because if that is the most amazing potential partner that you have ever met in your entire life, you want them.

    To believe that you would "next" someone with whom you are totally infatuated because they flaked on a date with you... is ridicuous and proven time and again by people living in the world, empirically, by ACTUAL EVENTS IN THE REAL WORLD, to be untrue.

    And while it's cute that you girls think that you wouldn't tolerate it, it's just not true
     
  19. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    Good for you, you "next"ed guys who don't have a good enough game to make you believe that they are the best guy you will meet all year.
     
  20. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    If you met the male cool guy equivalent of a supermodel, you will waste your time.

    You would jump over bridges and sell your soul to be able to spend time with a guy who was able to demonstrate to you that he is the smartest, funniest, coolest, most adventurous, wealthy guy you will ever meet for the rest of your life.

    You may lie to yourself and believe that your "pride" or whatever you want to call it will keep you from pursuing the best thing that will ever happen to you, but that is not true.

    I have nothing more to say.
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Alaya, its been demonstrated time and again that what women SAY they would respond to, and what they actually respond to are two different things.

    I can tell you from experience that when a man demonstrates higher value then pulls away from her, she will chase him.

    Now if you ask that same girl beforehand how she would react to the situation, she would probably say exactly what you did.

    When you girls make these posts, you are talking with your logic and we all know when it comes to dating that your emotions make your decisions for you.
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :werd: I'm glad I'm a guy.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yail, while I agree with you that most women in said situation would actually be more interested and into the idea of "the chase" please stop saying that when Alaya and I say we wouldn't go out with a guy who cancelled our first date, that we are just saying that now in the moment, and all that other bullshit. You really don't have to try constantly to prove to the men of the forum in some sort of way that we are solely emotional beings who only use logic when we aren't actually in the situation, ok? I once had a guy cancel our first date and guess what I did? Never called him again. So yes, it is possible for a women to not be more attracted to a guy for purposely playing games :eek3:

    It's extremely frustrating and I almost didn't post this just because I know you'll most likely read it and just go "well whatever, we all know you would be more attracted to the guy!" Fine, if you want to think that way then good for you, but you and guys like JKidd don't have to use every oppurtunity to try and point it out as if you are saying "Stupid women, you all have no clue what you really want."
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    .
     
  25. That was the best statement of the entire thread, just a . :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     

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