SRS Can you tell when you get used?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FyreDaug, Feb 7, 2006.

  1. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    BACKGROUND INFO ONLY: Ive got a gf of about 1.5 years, we live together (at 2 places now, and are looking for another place) and its a good relationship, its got its ups and downs like most do, but for the most part we dont argue/fight or anything, but sometimes I get the feeling like im too close, or im missing out on my early life fun. Im only 19 and ive been dating this chick and living with her for quite some time now, but being 19 and having a pen0r... well I dont have to explain the rest except that theres always that feeling to "try something new" ;) if you get my drift, which I cant exactly do. Living situation: Big house, me, my gf, my best friend, his brother and his brothers friend.

    THE SITUATION: Ive got a couple friends that are girls, that I would say are attracted to me in atleast some sense, more of a flirty type thing though, not sure if its to be serious. And also one of my roommates my friends, brothers friend:squint: is 16 and shes pretty fine, we flirt around a bit, but shes living on her own at 16, got messed up with drugs before (and still kind of is) and shes all sorts of fucked up, but she looks good and looks older, like 19/20 or so. I dont plan on hittin it or cheating on my gf in any way, but shes cool. The time we spend together hanging out, usually has to be done when my gf isnt at home (sounds bad I know) but she can get pretty possessive/jealous at times so like I said, anytime I hang out with other girls it has to be when shes not around, she never really got along too well with other girls anyways, so its not JUST me... I think.

    The theres this other girl, whom Ive dated twice in the past a while ago, that we started talking again and we plan on going out for coffee or a drink or something, but she never has money and I kind of half agreed that I'd take her out just for something to do by saying "whatever no big deal" when she said she was broke. We havent actually made plans yet, but I know hot girls like to do this, if they can get away with going "out" with someone for something and they get the guy to do it, they will be pussy whipped by her forever....

    Ive been used in the past and I dont talk to those people anymore so its all good, but if I go to meet up with someone and end up paying, will they expect it all the time?
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    In my opinion you already cheated with your gf. You are pursueding other girls for all the wrong selfish reasons , following your egoism and using your penis urges as an exuse to cheat on your gf is a gateway into breaking your gf's heart. If you look back at what you posted and how this reflects it doesn't paint a pretty picture to say the least. You should look more at what you have, instead of looking at what you don't have. I feel sorry for your gf, because we all know what this will lead too. Personally i disagree with you on breaking up with her,however

    if you intend to break her heart, make it so that it will result in the least possible hurt for her, end the relationship in a proper manner, and pursuede someone else if you want, for whatever its worth that is. :sad2:
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Oh yeah about the being used part , i think its important that a pretty face doesn't deceive you, what matters is how people are in their 'hearts' :love:

    if she is using her pretty face to abuse your finances then you have to take measures to prevent that. Always ask yourself if things are going fair, if it isn't then try to learn and prevent such events in the future, but preventing at first is better then healing from them, i think that in a modern age its common that the person who wanted the date is the ones who pays for it. Or alternativly on an equal basis 50% each.
     
  4. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    THis might end up blowing in your face anyway. Seems a lot of the other girls you're fooling with are kind of connected to your gf? So if you piss one of them off it would mean problems :hs: You're putting yourself in a rough situation. YOu need to decide what you want. To keep your current gf or get new experiences for your pen0r ;)
     
  5. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    Oh hells no, im not persuing other girls, the only reason I notice the other girl at my house is because she lives there too, I see her alot and hang out with her. Its not like Im after someone else, its just something in my brain with the whole age thing. This relationship is serious and its nice to have something with some "experience" for lack of a better word, the relationship is strong and I dont want to lose that. After re-reading what I initially posted I could see where you would get that from, but my previous information must have been a little misleading, because im not after another girl to open her legs.

    So this leads me to my next question, is it wrong to have other friends that are girls?
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You know all these things 'lead you away from your relationship' , it only puts acid on the strong bond you two have, while in fact you should be investing extra energy into making the bond between you two even more stronger. How does interaction with other girls then your gf make the bond between you two stronger? Answer = it doesn't. Not only could this make your gf jealous, it could also ruin the relationship. I think you should start working with flags, is this a green or a red flag for my relationship, your gut feeling should tell you that these actions are destructive for your current relationship. I think its hypocrite of you to say, i have a strong bond with my gf and don't want other girls, while you just stated your thoughts of having intereaction with other girls very clearly. I would not let these impurities take over your relationship, elsewhise be honest with your gf that you want something else.
     
  7. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    It isn't wrogn to have girls as friends as such. If it causes your gf to get annoyed, or she isn't comfortable with it then you shouldn't. You need to have an understanding about what makes her unconfortable and why - my guess is flirting.

    Sure it's okay to have friends, but flirting with them can easily make someone feel insecure.
     
  8. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    Yeah its a flirt, but does that mean anything?
     
  9. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    It depends on the people involved, only they know. It can still cause partners to get concerned though.

    Possible thoughts:

    Why is he flirting with her?
    Is he not satisfied with me?
    Does he want her?

    Now it may be unjustified, but flirting is part of courting. This is different from just friends it indicates some level of interest, and that is enough to make people concerned.

    In order assure your gf that you are only interested in her you shouldn't flirst with other girls. If she does not mind the flirting then she may be secure enough to believe they have no chance with you.

    Basically, if you have sneak around you know she does not like it, but you are disrearding her feelings on the matter.
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Why would you pay when you take this female friend out if it isn't a date?
    Because you're a "nice" guy? Errrr, do you normally whip out your wallet when you hang with the boys?

    I doubt it. I think you're fooling yourself a little bit, but only a little because you already know there's something not quite right here. That's why you posted.

    I also don't think you should really stay with your girlfriend. You're 19, and your urges to explore and know yourself and others (not necessarily through sex or relationship) is normal.

    I don't believe in early marriage, having seen the usual consequence time and time again.
    I also don't think you ought to hang onto your gf (as if you could anyways) and simply 'experiment' on the side without anyone being the wiser.

    That's all going to blow up in your face anyway and cause massive hurt and resentment in that house of yours. And they're all going to blame you, and they'll be right to.

    Reconsider, and see if you can think of a way out that incorporates being honest to your present gf, and most importantly being honest to yourself.

    I'll give you a hint: is isn't the path your currently tossing around in your mind.

    Let us know what you decide. Best of luck to you.
     
  11. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    Well Im not going to be breaking it off with my gf because of this, but Im a guy so ofcourse I will probably be interested in more than 1 girl, hell lindsay lohan is hot but that doesnt mean anything. Id be interested in hittin that, but its not quite the same when its all real life.

    Actually yes, I usually end up taking the bill most of the time so im used to it. I don't want it to seem like Im paying because its like a mini-date, so I figure I wont pay for anything but myself if we meet up but its not wrong to have other friends as girls though, doesnt matter what anyone says, friends are friends and we can hang out if we want. Its not gonna end with going back to her apartment or anything, and I cant exactly bring her back to my apartment so it wont be anything sexual.
     
  12. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    What about talking to my gf about it though? If I bring it up to her that im 19 and still want to experiment itll be either 2 things, 1) she'll be okay with it and agree that she can do it herself too, or 2) she'll say no and hate me for bringing it up. I am leaning more to #2 just because of how she gets jelous when I hang around with other girls. Ive got about 6 girls I see occasionally, but it was much more than that before we started dating. Infact she told me I shouldnt be hanging out with her old friend (whom I almost dated back in the day... long story, very fucked up) but its not fair being told who I can and cant hang around with, thats fucked up. Ive seen this chick a couple times and she knew about it, she wasnt happy, but the thing is WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING. why do girls always go to the last possible thing: Your cheating on me!!11!1one omg

    edit: but I love her and dont want to break anything up, its just im 19
     
  13. AshLee

    AshLee New Member

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    you "love" her and you're 19. listen, im only 20. I know how all this goes. You really love being with this person but you're just not sure if there is anyone better out there? which is totally understandable. My boyfriend and I dated once and broke up (he was 20 not sure what was out there type too.. wanted to have a good time) so when we were broken up we both saw other people and spent months apart.
    Well after those months, we reconnected and decided that there isnt anyone that makes us feel the way we make each other feel. we're really happy now. but if youre going to go around wondering if there is anything better and talking and flirting with these girls that might as well be cheating because its emotionally cheating.
    I believe there are 2 types of cheating: emotional and physical. Physical hurts more at first but then Emotional is tougher to get over in the long run (trust me i have been there). The only words of advice I have to offer for you..are not all girls are as understanding and forgiving as I am so dont think because I took him back and we got back together means she will also. Secondly, do you want to break up with your girlfriend that you love to go "explore" and see if there is anything else? Because no girl with ANY SELF RESPECT will ever let you mess around on the side. And if she does, then she is a moron.
     

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