can you ever get it back?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JemmaX, Oct 4, 2007.

  1. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    I havent been here for a while. I dont even recognize most of the posters these days :(

    Anyway, I have a question for the men. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone, love them, think they are attractive, smart, sexy, funny, etc, then slowly find yourself not wanting to have sex with her?

    That is what has happened to me, and we talked about it today. He just rarely wants to have sex these days, and if we do, he usually needs oral to finish. Its a big blow to my sexual ego. Neither one of us is happy with our sex life going to shit, but he thinks maybe it will get better he just needs time.

    Anyone else had this happen? Once you lose sexual interest in someone, even if you love them, can it come back? I know that things tend to ebb and flow with relationships, this just seems like one of those things you cant go back to. I dunno. help. bah :ugh:
     
  2. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Did you gain weight?
     
  3. Marix

    Marix OT Supporter

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    Yes, it's happened to me with my current g/f.

    We were both under lots of stress, working a lot etc. We still loved each other but we were more like friends - the passion had gone.

    We had a nice weekend away, cut down on work and tried to spend more time together. The passion came back and so did the great sex.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    This is the issue that not only married couples go through, but also couples who have dated for a long time. A lot of couples go through it, that's why they try new things to spice it up again.

    My question is what does he say about losing interest? I hate to say it but a lot of times a loss in sexual attraction can mean the end of a relationship. But other times it can be due to lack of healthy diet, being too tired, etc. You both have to be willing to spice it back up. You're unfortunately making it sound like he's really just losing excitement in having sex at all. I'm sorry because I would feel upset if I were in your position and wish you good luck.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That's harsh but honestly a very valid question.
     
  6. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    no. ive lost a few pounds lately actually.

    Ive asked for suggestions, told him I got a 33% off coupon from A&E and asked if there was something particular he wanted. he said no. We havent gone away for a while and were going to to go camping a few weeks back but both got sick. Hopefully we can do it in a couple of weeks. I dunno if that will help.

    I recognize that neither of us will be happy in the long run if the sex isnt good. i just dont know how long to wait, what to try (therapy?), what to do.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Take him to a lingerie store or even just go by yourself and pick something out. Surprise him. You got that A&E coupon and he said nothing?? Does he even want to try to make your sex lives better?
     
  8. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    do it in public? vacation? dye your hair?
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    your boyfriend needs to lift weights. ive never had a problem wanting to bone when im all juiced up on squats and milk.
     
  10. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Are you making any effort to get things started, or are you just waiting for him to make the first move?
     
  11. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    good suggestion! he used to work out regularly, but doesnt much anymore. in fact i think i use his equipment more than he does these days. he has gotten a bit of a belly lately but its not a turn off to me, although i do know that he isnt happy with it. i dont think it is affecting his libido though because he got it about six months ago and this has been like the last month.
     
  12. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    of course i am. This morning I started touching him, rubbing him, he said he had to go to the bathroom then came back in the room and instead of getting back in bed with me, he started getting dressed. this is when the discussion ensued about his lack of desire to fuck me.

    I guess i could just buy something myself and surprise him. he did say once he likes a girl in vinyl...
     
  13. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    That sounds pretty bad.
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    weight lifting can definetly improve your libido...


    if the problem insists and he doesnt care, dump

    you have a right to enjoy great sex, everyday
     
  15. jones21

    jones21 Uranium Member

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    post a pic of yourself and we'll tell you what's going on in this relationship
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    im co-signing this
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ouch. Good for you for bringing it up though.
     
  18. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    He said he had to go to the bathroom? What kind of bf does that shit??
     
  19. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    live ones?
     
  20. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    You turn your bf on (or are at least trying to) and he has to go to the bathroom? That's the first I've seen of that. That's like a smack in the face. :eek3:
     
  21. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    It happens. :dunno: Usually they come back ASAP, though. Most guys love getting laid.

    :bowrofl:
     
  22. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    :hsugh:



    have sex with a full bladder and get back to me.
     
  23. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, he just got up to go to the bathroom. He comes backs and still doesn't want any action?
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That same scenario she mentioned has happened with me and my bf a ton of times. We wake up, I want morning sex, and he has to piss first...The difference is that he'll come back into bed and we have the sexy time.
     
  25. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    That's what I meant. Usually in that case you'd expect your bf to come back quickly and have some fun :)
     

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