Can these two coexist?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by radfad88, Jan 9, 2010.

  1. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I just finished reading "He's just not that into you" for about the tenth time since I bought the book at age 17. Reread it because my friends politely pointed out that I'm rusty in the casual dating department (was in LTR for a while), and I need a refresher. Apearently I was doing things absolutely against what the book preaches.

    Now my question is: Can PUA and "He's just not that into you" styles co-exist?

    Seems to me that it would make it WAY too hard too start up any kind of relationship. There would be a bunch of "non-interested" fakies running around. Both styles seem to tell their sex to act uninterested and to hide any sort of emotion/feeling for the opposite sex for as long as possible.

    Guys, if you need a run-through of HJNTIY, I'm sure someone here can sum if up for you, or I can later. I can say it's almost NOTHING like the movie that came out last year that was supposed to be "based" on the book.
     
  2. RichieHemingway

    RichieHemingway New Member

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    Like what, I'm not familiar with it?
     
  3. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    does anyone else know what she's talking about ?
     
  4. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    its an old argument and what it comes down to is someone will give.

    PUA = social arts, so an approach will be made and some interaction will happen.

    from that point on the woman could abide by some code and so could the PUA but someone will break the rules if there is a lot of chemistry. usually it is the woman as they don't see the world as black and white as most men do.

    of course the bottom line is that anyone who sticks so ferociously to their guns is still in the learning process. both these 'styles' exist so that you can internalize certain beliefs. once internalized, you can let go of the black and white vision of things.
     
  5. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    i know what you mean.

    you keep up your rules/game playing, until you realize that in order to take the next step, you need to just let go
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I've never read HJNTIY, but I was under the impression it was essentially a dating guide that told people to not waste time on people who aren't genuinely interested in them. Meanwhile PUA is about how to manipulate social situations to get women in bed. So I would say, yes, the two are fairly close to being polar opposites. One is an honest approach to relationships and one is a whatever works approach to sex. The general con consensus is if you're looking for a real relationship, you don't use PUA shit.
     
  7. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    OK to clarify (now that I'm off work and have the time):
    HJNTIY aims to do just what FS said, but the manner in which they do it is by setting up a bunch of strict rules about dating.

    Some of these rules include that women NEVER ask a guy out on a date, Call a guy (even if he gives her his number first), or give any guy any time of day unless he is heavily persuing her.

    There are more useful points to the book, where they talk about NOT dating a guy who is married, a jerk, or psycho... but those things are more common sense to me and just show that you have self worth issues if you knowingly go into dating someone like that.


    In my opinion, if a guy was using PUA to talk to chicks, and a girl was going by HJNTIY philosophy on men, no one would ever get together bc we'd all be so preoccupied with playing the 'catch me if you can' game.
     
  8. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    Whats dishonest about learning what attracts women and then doing that? What PUA "tactics" are you talking about that can't create a real relationship?
     
  9. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Why can't you just do what feels right to you?
    Why do you need to manipulate yourself into acting like someone who isn't you.
    Of course not everyone on the planet will get you or like you, but there is someone out there who will want to be with you and if there isn't you will change because you want to change along the way.
     
  10. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I just recently read HJNTIY, and I don't recall them ever saying not to call a dude or stuff like that???? It was basically a book about not wasting your time if they aren't into you, which a lot of women tend to gloss over.

    And for the record I think they can coexist because they are not the same thing or trying to do the same thing.
     

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