can someone give me a week of goals that i can accomplish to try to get a number?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    I know this has been said before, but i beleive i do have to grow a pair of balls. Im 25 years old and only had a couple gfs and only went out with a handful of girls. My problem is im to shy or intimidated to approach girls and try to get their number. I was looking for some goals or a easier way i can work myself up to actuallly asking for numbers. I would say im kinda decent looking and shouldnt have a hard time in looks,but I have no game i beiieve or courage to seal the dea.
     
  2. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Where are you meeting girls? Or I suppose, where do you want to meet women? Do you go to Uni? Whats your job etc.... picking up a girl in a bar is a whole different game then someone from school/work etc.
     
  3. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    go to college,own a small business that is only me operating it. So mainly school or at the mall,stores etc. Only at school at nights for a few days a week , dont spend to much time over their due to work.
     
  4. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    School is such a good place to meet girls. Asking someone to study together for a test is a great/low pressure way to meet girls. At the very least you can make friends with a few who can introduce you together (give you a new social circle to meet girls through). Or 'im going to ___after class for a bite if you want to come along'
    Same with your work depending on the type i suppose. Regular customers? what is your business?
     
  5. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Oh, we are supposed to be working towards goals here.
    1)choose a girl (or two) in a class you think you may have a chance with
    2) Make eye contact: smile at her when someone says something funny, make a joke about the class
    3) talk to her. Especially something that can serve as a lead in to going out together "i really dont get ____, I need some extra help/practice"
    4) work towards friendly teasing/banter
    5) ask her out in a low pressure way: 'you're so great with -insert aspect of class you have trouble with- im going to get coffee/food after class, let me buy you a cup of coffee and you can help me out with ___"
    6) while drinking said coffee and getting help with said aspect of said class, ask for number.
     
  6. fray

    fray New Member

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    does this really answer the main question though, which is asking her out on a date, I assume. If that is the case, then this gets a number....but does not really accomplish the goal.
     
  7. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    He now has her number and is comfortable talking to her (he has trouble talking to girls remember) so he can call her and ask her on a date, or ask her on a date next class. I am personally more open to men asking me out if they have shown some sort of interest in being friends with me and if we have hung out before. That way you know your not going to be stuck on a date with someone it turns out you can't talk to. It makes things easier for everyone.
     
  8. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    thanks for the great advice, very easily understood. going to post my attempt to let you guys know how i do.
     
  9. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Looking forward to it. I have trouble being talked to by guys, I find them threatening. So I guess I'm just trying to tell you how I would like to be approached.
     
  10. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: I agree completely. Being hit on by some random guy is really awkward.

    If you have trouble talking to girls then the last thing you should be doing is trying to hit on random chicks. Practice talking to all people more, not just girls you find attractive. You really need to work on your self-esteem first. I can tell you have problems with it because you make a million threads asking for help with every little thing. Get comfortable with yourself first before worrying about dating.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    no! no!

    jesus, that was a close one.
    not to worry. i'm here.

    looks like you just got the old "be confident," advice. :noes:

    i know that when I ever got that advice, I would either get depressed, or really annoyed. after all. how do you just ... "be confident?" it's like, if i could press the button that made my self-esteem soar skyward, then why hello there :wavey: i would not be asking for advice. :doh:

    getting in shape? doing well in school? yeah ... those will make you confident, alright, about lifting weights and about taking exams. not confident in the social sense, which is what people really mean.

    Of course it is true that confidence will improve your success rate. But here lies the problem. The ONLY way to build confidence ... is VIA success. Thus if you make self-esteem a prerequisite for success, as advised above, then you have locked yourself into a little circular trap.

    Fortunately, although success is the only way to confidence, confidence is NOT the only way to success, so the circle is broken. ACTION is something else that can also help you succeed. Your confidence is not directly within your control - any advice to the contrary is a load of horse shit. But your actions definitely are.

    1. Actions -> 2. Success -> 3. Confidence -> 4. More Success.

    In conclusion, do NOT "work on" your self-esteem before taking action - that doesn't even make sense, because the only way to work on your self-esteem IS to take action. Fake it till you make it.

    Phew!
     
  12. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Getting numbers is easy.

    "Hey, I'm in a rush but I want to get to know you a bit better. Write down your phone number. *hands pen and paper*"

    Getting numbers that dont flake is a bit more tricky.

    Start here:
    http://www.fastseduction.com/youarenew/
     
  13. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    great stuff

    This seems very very logical. I think i want to try to proceed from here as you described to build my confidence up. Your exactly right im not confident in social settings within groups especially. I am condident in my physical self with hitting the gym, im okay with my looks, my job etc


     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    :bigthumb:

    Great post, JJJ.

    I'm a huge believer in this as well.

    In order to progress, you must get out of your comfort zone. You can't let embarrassment and shame hold you back.

    I've heard it said that courage is feeling fear and apprehension, but choosing to follow through with your course of action in spite of these feelings.

    Additionally, you should examine your internal beliefs concerning women. It is 100% normal and natural for you to approach a woman for the purpose of getting her phone number and inviting her on a date. Its one of the most masculine actions you can take in life.

    I know in the past, I had a belief that I was somehow doing something wrong by approaching a woman and attempting to make a date with her. Why that is, I don't know, but I think many guys are like this as well.
     
  15. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Threadstarter: It is true, very true, that in order to lift you self self-esteem you must take action. Obviously wallowing in your own misery isn't going to help things.
    However, please keep in mind that success does not always equate to confidence. You are, in fact, a business owner, and a student...which by most measures is quite successful.
    You still need to 'work on' your self esteem. Lets get a working definition of that going-working on your self esteem means adjusting the way you think about yourself. Seeing yourself as a worthwhile, interesting, fun and attractive individual. As a self contained end.
     
  16. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    :werd:
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Of course you didn't bother to quote the part where I said that he should practice going out and talking to everyone he sees, not just girls he finds attractive :hsugh: If he acts anything like he does on this forum IRL he's gonna scare away any chick he tries to hit on.
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Of course you're going to get numbers that flake if you do it like that. You are basically trying to catch her off guard and put her in a situation where she feels like she has to give you her #. I had a guy at work do something like that to me recently and I gave him my # but later I was thinking :ugh: I really have no desire to talk to this guy.
     
  19. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Exactly. A number doesn't mean anything.
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i agree with what you mean, and didn't mean what you think i meant.

    success in my post, being narrowly defined as success with women.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    don't view it as an attack on you then. i'm just making sure he doesn't get the wrong idea.
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    thats not a definition

    define "success with women"
     
  23. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    You can tell the difference by whether she gives it to you straight-away or starts stammering and trying to think of a good excuse, or says "why?"

    I'm betting that the guy you work with stood there and badgered you a little bit to get your number.
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    no. the OP believes he does not meet his own definition of success with women, which suffices for what I'm discussing here.
     
  25. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    You'd be amazed at how many guys are completely clueless when it comes to stuff like that. They'll never even notice that we didn't jump at the chance to give the #, they just assume the # means we must want them and they should call us over and over and over until they get a date :uh:
     

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