SRS Can someone decode these girl messages?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    This girl that I recently took an interest in told me she broke up with her last boyfriend and now she's single. So I started flirting and putting moves on and basically charming her. On saturday I saw her at a party and she was back with her ex boyfriend. I didn't say anything to her about it, but she knows that I like her(my drunk friend told her). She started playing both sides at the party. First she tries to make me jealous by flirting with her boyfriend, then she comes to me and makes her boyfriend jealous...WTF? Is she crazy or just making us fight for her? then she comes back to me when we are alone and I can tell she wants me to charm her and flirt and all that fun stuff. It's like she's using me to make herself feel better about herself but then she plays both sides when the 3 of us are in the same room. Someone please xplain this to me because I don't know if I should just ask her out or not. I can tell she likes me back, but i'm not gonna steal her away from her current boyfriend, especially because I kind of know the guy and he's cool in my book.

    obviously things aren't going well between her and her boyfriend when she can't decide for herself who to choose so what is she doing and what should i do??:wtc:
     
  2. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Dude.. you really can't figure this one out for yourself? Shes back with him again and because he was just recently an ex bf and now back.. shes just showing him that other guys do have an interest in her aswell so he needs to pay attention and realize that shes still attractive to the opposite sex.. and that is to say that her ex probably broke things off with her if shes going off flrting with you and him at the same time because if it was her that broke things off.. it doesn't fit the pattern very well or her bf is a dumbass that doesn't realize that she flirts with other guys while shes in a relationship.. well, whatever the situation is.. maybe, the flirting wasnt really as bad as you're making it out to be.. but this to say why would you want a chick that is back with an ex? Clearly shows that if you get in the picture theres always a chance that she still hasnt gotten over that guy.. and what makes you anymore special currently if shes back with him? Figure it out.. she flirted with you during the time that she was single so she would feel like hot shit and know that other guys wanted her.. when she got back with her ex and saw you again she figured why not continue the game to show her ex that others want her too.

    Finally.. don't waste your time, not now anyways.
     
  3. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    Let me start off by saying that sadly, no, i'm not experienced enough with dating to figure this out myself.
    so what your saying is that she IS using me to make herself feel like hot shit?!...well that's what I was looking for. this is a shitty as feeling. I'll break off contact soon cause I don't wanna get any deeper with this girl. thanks for that, you probably saved me a headache or two:wtc:
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    stay away. the best you can really hope for in this situation is to grab some nookie, but since you know the fellow and you're not planning on acting against him then that pretty much nixes that idea.

    And may I say kudos to you for being high-minded. Lots of guys might try to get what they can, rationalizing that they're not responsible for the girl's actions. If she sleeps around, they're not to blame.

    Now technically I suppose that's true, you AREN'T responsible for her actions, only your own.
    But come on, that's a pretty flimsy excuse for bad behaviour.

    So anyways, good on ya.
     
  5. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    You pretty much answered your own question, I think.
    I guess you have to decide if it's worth your time waiting for her to choose, and having to tolerate whatever behavior she might display while she's figuring it out.
    Up to you, though.
     
  6. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Girl message: "I am an immature narcisist teenager. Stay the fuck away from me."

    That loud and clear enough for ya?
     
  7. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    :rofl: It's more like "I'm sexy. Come hither!" - at least that's the message she wants to send to you. In reality, she probably likes the attention, not you specifically. Stay away. It's way more trouble than it's worth. You don't want to be with someone that can't make up their mind, anyway.
     
  8. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    Sounds like you've already answered your questions.

    She is insecure and wants attention from the both of you.
    She's frivolous enough to go back and forth.
    And she's not worth your *serious* time.

    In agreement with Johan on the nookie though. :bigthumb: Sounds like she would get with you just so she could go back and tell her bf to make him jealous. But then again, that could be bad.

    You'll get caught in the middle of a big, crazy mess......bf is controlled by her and comes after you.....

    ......and yeah. Just back away slowly and make a run for it. :run: She's trouble and not worth it.
     
  9. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    This is all great advice you got here, familyguy. goodluck with what you decide to do but I personally wouldn't waste my time with her.. just my two cents.
     
  10. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    i kind of went against it all and bought here flowers and chocolate for valentines day. I asked her out today before i gave her the gifts and she said yes. she called me back about 1 hour later and told me that she just got out of a bad relation and wantes more time before she dates again. so what does this mean?
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It means our advice was right all along.
    It means you choose to go against it anyways (your choice, and its completely your right to do so).

    It means you got suckered. Don't say we didn't try to tell you.

    Next up, you'll feel crappy from this incident. Two weeks later though, the memory will be fuzzy in your head, and you'll think that maybe she really did just need "a bit more time".

    You'll make some gesture again. And so the cycle repeats.

    PS. Cancel what I said about you being high-minded. Looks like you chose a different path.
     
  12. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Message, "Gobble gobble chomp chomp... mmmm, chocolate good... oh, are you still here? Fuck off!"

    I asked a girl out on... Friday? No, Saturday. She said she wasn't really into dating right now. What was she really saying? "I am not interested in you." She thought the literal sentence would have hurt more. Either way, it was no big deal. She gave me her number and said we should hang out as friends. Which I might actually do if... I had time to hang out with the friends I already got. And I don't. The last thing you want is to play puppy love with someone you are really interested in, that is not interested in you. Few interpersonal situations are more unpleasant than that, for you, in the long run.

    Your rejection by this girl is not a big deal either. It will just take some time and practice until things become that way for you.
     
  13. toeshoes

    toeshoes Guest

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  14. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    yeah, I do feel crappy now. I see her in school everyday and it'll be a little weird but I can take it. maybe i'll succomb to the wit of OT next time?

    p.s. why would she say yes the first time and then call back and say no after she got the gifts? Do you think I might have scared her away how i gave her the gifts right after she said yes to a date?
     
  15. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    wow. what a bitch
     
  16. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Heh heh, still hoping you've got a shot, eh?

    I believe this is called the 'triumph of hope over experience'. Young love. Gotta love it.
     
  17. ericsi

    ericsi New Member

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    I agree with everyone on this dont get sucked in
     
  18. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Don't listen to the haters, if its TRUE LOVE then hope triumphs all!

    :barf:
     
  19. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    make no mistake- she knows exactly what she's doing. there's no amount of indicision on her part. she just wants to see which one of you is willing to fight for her. she's testing both of you. "does he really like me as much as he says? if he does, he'll do ANYTHING to make sure he gets me." she just wants to see if either of you are really and intrested as you show that you are.

    that's it.

    I agree with Peyomp on this one. narcisist teenager= BYE BYE. :wavey:
     
  20. parfaite3

    parfaite3 New Member

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    i think that anyone in a situation where they're aware that more than one person is interested in them can cause whoever it is to sort of play the people. granted, it's wrong of her to play you both, but i think it's just a natural thing. it's not a girl message... guys do it to. she's clearly having issues w her boyfriend, and chances are that if they've been talking about breaking up then they probably will eventually. and she probably does really like you, but shes been with her boyfriend for awhile and most people in relationships like to try and fix what they have before moving on. and maybe she's trying to show him that she has other options, and let him know that him leaving her doesn't mean she has nobody. the only thing to be careful of is that it could be that you'll turn into the rebound guy which is bad. but otherwise just relax and let her work things out (or not) with her b/f and take your cues from what is happening w/ them. if it keeps on like this then tell her you dont want to be played.
     
  21. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    She doesn't like him. She takes his chocolates and doesnt even hang out with him. Break contact with her and just ignore her. No pouting, just move on. When you see her in school don't do double takes to see if she's lookin at you. If you really really need to get stuff off your chest then tell her you don't feel like being a pawn and just move on. No crying, no anger, just the facts.

    Atleast this way maybe one day you will have a shot with her, if you ever feel like it. If you stick around and let her bait you around like that she will lose whatever respect she might still have for you (prolly not much) and you lose any chance of ever getting it back. If you back out now you may gain some self respect and one day look at her and say "wtf was i thinking?"

    Edit: BTW, I had my share of these "baiters" but fortunatley spotted it quickly enough and dropped em before I got attached. A buddy of mine had the same thing happen to him. Despite everyone giving him advice to get the hell away from her he kept at it (kind of like you). After a year and a half he had blown all his self respect and could barely look people in the eye. She doesn't like you, and you won't change her mind by sticking around around trying to convince her otherwise.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2006
  22. CNH320

    CNH320 New Member

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    do what i do, a girl tried that on me once, tried to use me as a pawn, so what did i do? fucked with her head. Turned the entire situation around and just completely warped her mind, she is now one of..6 girls desperately inlove with me. literally.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You need to do one of two things. Either quit right now, and just ignore the fact that she is being weak and in the meantime making you feel like shit. However, I recommend the following.

    Grab her boob and take your cock out when it gets hard. Slap her in the face with it and say, "See this? You want it? You want it? Yeah?" Then put it back in your pants, zip up and walk away.
     
  24. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    probably been said already, but, she likes to play games with you! By changing things up on you, by saying yes (giving you hope) then not actually having to commit to anything, she keeps you coming around, lavishing attention (and gifts) on her. She'll string you along until you have nothing left to give or come to your senses, and then leave you in her dust.

    Girls like these aren't worth anyone's time of die. Girls like these I wouldn't even feel sympathy for if I'd heard they'd been raped and left for dead on the side of the road.
     
  25. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I wish I could say I've never made this mistake before.

    But then again, I have the feeling most of us have, at some point.
     

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