Can I see a actual cover letter of someone who got a job with it?

Discussion in 'OT Technology' started by SPACECATAZ, Jan 3, 2010.

  1. SPACECATAZ

    SPACECATAZ New Member

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    Preferably from a programmer of course.

    Weird request, I know. I'm applying for a few programming internships and I'm a subpar cover letter writer, :rofl:. Sure, you could tell me to search on google. I've tried that, no success. It's only websites that give bs resumes/cover letters or they are not specifically catered to the example that I'm trying to look at. You can fuzz out your information of course.
     
  2. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    How about this: post a copy of what you have put together for yourself and we can tell you why it sucks and how to improve it.
     
  3. GOGZILLA

    GOGZILLA Double-Uranium Member

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    i bet if you put "I like turtles!" you'd get some pretty cool call backs if the rest of your resume doesnt suck.
     
  4. SPACECATAZ

    SPACECATAZ New Member

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    My Name:xxxx
    My Address:xxxxx
    Ph:xxxxxx

    Blizzard Entertainment
    16215 Alton Pkwy
    Irvine, CA 92618
    United States

    Dear intern recruiter(going to find person's actual name on monday):

    OK, I admit. I saw your posting for the Platform Services Engineer (Job Number: 09000B8) intern position just now on the Blizzard Entertainment web site, and I’m salivating. So I can’t imagine a better adventure for an intern opportunity than to work on core technologies that will be leveraged across all Blizzard Entertainment games. Let me tell you 3 reasons you should consider me for this position:

    1. Strong Programming Skills – The job posting mentioned you were looking for someone with a diverse background in technologies. I have 2 years of programming experience as a student at East Carolina University, and am proficient in Java and C++. I have created automation tools in Java while interning at Motorola, and as a student I have self learned many coding languages and successfully completed assignments in class such as dealing with hard drive disk management and creating a DVD collection manager from scratch. I’d be happy to show you any of these assignments for code quality purposes.

    2. Good communication and a team player – In my current job as a resident advisor, I regularly interact with dozens of students and work with a staff of thirteen other committed RAs. Several times a semester, I lead events organized for the students to help them accommodate themselves with college life…sometimes to hundreds. I know how to lead a team, but at the same time I know how to be a part of a team and complete while all still being productive.

    3. I love experiences – I completely relate to Blizzard’s mission statement, “Dedicated to creating the most epic entertainment experiences…ever.” I love any type of programming, whether it is when I created a full-fledged Sudoku solver in C++ or hand coded a website with a mix AJAX and PHP, with a back end of MySQL. Such experiences have created a personal commitment to quality and my inner geek for cutting-edge technology, thus allowing me to learn and grow while still cultivating the desire to achieve greater knowledge down the road.

    Blizzard Entertainment is a place where I know I can make a difference, and with my experience at working with other individuals and self-motivation for breakthrough technologies, I’m sure I could impact you very quickly without spending too much time in the starting gate. I would love to meet with you in person to talk about how I can help Blizzard’s experience to a whole new level.

    Best Regards,
    xxxxx

    I modeled it after this:

    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/101949754.html
     
  5. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    OK, I'm going to pick this apart piece by piece, so bear with me here (I was a writing tutor for 5 years, I dealt with this kind of thing all the time):

    First off, this doesn't sound professional by any means. "OK, I admit...." "....I'm salivating....."

    You need to maintain a professional tone throughout your message. Something like:

    I saw your posting for a Platform Services Engineer (#09000B8) on the Blizzard Entertainment web site, and I am very interested in pursuing this internship position with your company. I feel that it will provide a valuable growth opportunity for both your company and for myself.

    All of the information here should be in your resume... and if it's in your resume it doesn't need to be on the cover letter. Just mentioning that you have strong programming skills in a variety of languages and can provide samples of your previous work upon request will suffice.

    Leave out all the details about the staff you work with, etc. Again, if they want to know details they'll ask you in an interview. Just give them enough information so that they will be intrigued enough to call you in to talk. Just saying that you possess exemplary written and verbal communication skills and are able to thrive in a collaborative environment should suffice.

    "I love experiences" -- wha? That is something that need not be said; it's too ambiguous and is true of every person on the planet. Again, no need for so much detail here. Just saying something like this will do the job:

    If I am chosen for this position, I will commit myself to providing high quality work utilizing the latest cutting-edge technologies to uphold Blizzard's mission statement, "Dedicated to creating the most epic entertainment experiences...ever."

    This part isn't bad, I'd just clean up a few small things:

    Blizzard Entertainment would greatly benefit from my work in this position, and with my experience in working with other individuals and self-motivation for breakthrough technologies, I would be able to hit the ground running and make a positive impact on the company. I would love to meet with you in person to talk about how I can help Blizzard reach a whole new level of excellence.





    The idea is that the cover letter need not be long and drawn out, or contain too much detail -- that's what the resume is for, to tell them what projects you've done, what languages you have experience in, etc. -- just remember to give them enough to peak their interest and call you in, but nothing more than that.

    For the record, that craigslist guide FUCKING SUCKS. Don't listen to it.
     
  6. SPACECATAZ

    SPACECATAZ New Member

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    Thanks for the feedback but I absolutely suck at this part(making the cover letter). I took your feedback and formulated this:

    My info:
    xxxxxxxxxx
    xxxxxx
    xxxxx


    Blizzard Entertainment
    [FONT=&quot]16215 Alton Pkwy[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Irvine, CA 92618[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]United States[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]Dear intern recruiter:[/FONT]

    As a Platform Services Engineer intern, I will leverage two years of programming experience, and provide professional workmanship daily. I have been seeking just such an opportunity as this, and I believe my background and experience meet your requirements.

    As you can see from my resume, I have a strong academic background in working with multiple break through technologies. My recent internship at Motorola allowed to further develop and strengthen my technical skills. I have excellent hands on programming in languages such as C++, Java, and PHP. If I am chosen for this position, I will commit myself to providing high quality work utilizing the latest cutting-edge technologies to uphold Blizzard's mission statement, "Dedicated to creating the most epic entertainment experiences...ever."

    Blizzard Entertainment would greatly benefit from my work in this position, and with my experience in working with other individuals and self-motivation for breakthrough technologies, I would be able to hit the ground running and make a positive impact on the company. I would love to meet with you in person to talk about how I can help Blizzard reach a whole new level of excellence.

    Best Regards,
    xxxxxx

    I believe my last paragraph is good from your help and my first paragraph is decent, but my second paragraph is terrible. I don't know how to formulate what I want to say without coming across unskilled for the position. I keep using google to piece together the parts I'm missing, but it's not making any sense. And the problem with Blizzard is that they're perfectionists, so I don't wanna screw this cover letter thing up when I actually apply. :hs:
     
  7. GOGZILLA

    GOGZILLA Double-Uranium Member

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    don't use "breakthrough/break through technologies". I'm pretty sure they won't like meaningless buzzwords. You're on the right track the first one was definitely way too long. I agree that you want to sound professional but a little bit of pro-humor is always good on these cover pages.
     
  8. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Here's one that got me a job in 2005:

     
  9. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    ...and here's another that got me a job in 2008 (though I ended up getting a better offer from my current employer):

     
  10. SPACECATAZ

    SPACECATAZ New Member

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  11. SPACECATAZ

    SPACECATAZ New Member

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    I'm applying for the internships which are open until Jan 31st.
     
  12. SPACECATAZ

    SPACECATAZ New Member

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    Fuuuuuuuuuuuu, but it's in QA. I'll take your advice, but my cover letter sucks though. So I'm screwed either way. :rofl:

    But one thing I did notice is that in the FAQ section about internships on their website, they specifically said that they will be interviewing between February and May, so :dunno:.
     

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