LGBT Can homosexuality be discovered late in life?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Diesel Fumes, Mar 12, 2006.

  1. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    I'm 22 and by no means am I old, but it seems based on what I have read on this forum that most people knew they were gay way before my age, but i've been confused lately. While I have no desire whatsoever to do anything sexual with a man, I have been noticing my lack of desire to do things sexually with women. For instance, if i'm at a bar I have no real desire to even talk to girls. Not because I wouldn't do things sexually with them, just because I don't feel the desire to pursue it.

    I have troubles getting along with girls if I know sex isn't going to be involved. I'll take guilt free sex from just about anyone and yes I realize I lack morals. But the whole act leading up to it just doesn't seem worth it to me. I suppose what comes my way will come naturally?

    I know this sounds sleezy, but recently I was at my gym and seen grafitti in the washroom saying gay things. It sort of interested me. Not because I would want to do something like that, but because its different. Is it possible that there is a reason why I don't pursue sexual relationships with women? I have no problems talking to other males and getting to know them, but as far as im concerned, I have no desire to do anything sexual with them. For example, recently I met a Russian man. A few days after meeting with him, I went and talked to him and he immediately said "im straight". Was probably assuming I was trying to hit on him just because I was wanting to get to know him. Is that odd?

    Im sort of all over the place here with all my descriptions, but im so confused. At this point I would say I would be open to try anything, but im not going to try new things for the heck of it. If it happens, it happens I guess?
     
  2. Josey

    Josey New Member

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    contact me privately, I could probably help you out some as I am 28 and just coming out...maybe I can help you explore some of those feelings that you're having as I've had to figure them out here lately.
     
  3. Girder_Shade

    Girder_Shade OT Supporter

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    :ugh:
     
  4. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    To answer your question Diesel Fumes, yes one can come out late in life. I have met persons who didn't deal with their sexual orientation until they were in the 40's, 50's and in one case 60's. It is not as common today to stay in the closet as it was 20 years ago, but for many it is reality. And no I don't mean that they knew they were gay and did nothing about it, I am suggesting they weren't even sure themselves.

    While josey can relay some of the experiences of a newly out person, talk to someone older as well and get their take on things. Is there someone close by you can chat with? A counsellor or friend? Ideally someone whom you can trust - someone non-judgmental.

    If it will help you I would be willing to have a chat with you as well. Apparently I am the old guy here :squint: (early 40's) but more importantly I am a minister and deal with these issues on a very regular basis.

    Good luck sorting your feelings.

    Blessings,
    MapleLeaf
     
  5. Josey

    Josey New Member

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    The fuck is that supposed to mean? I was trying to be friggin helpful...

    Mapleleaf has points too, but, talking to someone in your age group wouldn't hurt.
     
  6. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :mamoru: :rofl: :mamoru:
     
  7. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Yes.
     
  8. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    I love the advice in this thread...

    Actually I think it's quite scary.

    I think you just need to find the right lady, but you're being lazy about it.

    Gay men....it's probably just as hard to find a good gay man as it is to find a good straight woman. :)
     
  9. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    Actually based on the comments I received privately, I will leave the whole issue of coming out to you youngin's - have fun. After all everyone knows no-one ever came out of the closet before you guys were born.
     
  10. MikeYOX

    MikeYOX May 2000 account: DELETED :(

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    Whoooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! WTF?

    Before you jump on the gay train here, did you ever consider that maybe you just have self esteem issues? Jeez. Just because you are having a few relationship problems doesn't mean that you were destined to suck dick. :ugh:

    What's with all of the people here trying to "recruit" too? Why don't you just leave the guy to figure out his own problems instead of handing him the guidebook to being gay? :dunno:

    Why such a radical solution to such a common problem?
     
  11. coma

    coma New Member

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    All recruitees aboard the gay train and bring your gay guide books!!:rofl:
    Yes...yes...that's how one becomes gay!:ugh2: :hahano:
     
  12. MikeYOX

    MikeYOX May 2000 account: DELETED :(

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    I don't recall saying that at all. I'm just saying that Diesel Fumes, as well as the other people looking to help him on the topic of homosexuality should first consider that it may not be the issue at all.
     
  13. bioyuki

    bioyuki Ich habe Angst

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    My personal opinion is that you're straight.

    At the same time, if you feel you need to try shit, go ahead and do it. The only way you're going to figure stuff out is if you try it :dunno;
     
  14. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    that's stuff you need to get out of your system when you're in college

    after that and you're gay :o
     
  15. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    I never recieved my guidebook or my damn toaster. :mad:
     
  16. bioyuki

    bioyuki Ich habe Angst

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    We're supposed to get toasters?
     
  17. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    I need a new toaster.

    MapleLeaf has been recruiting me for months... had I known toasters were involved, i might have joined the bandwagon a bit sooner.
     
  18. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    Um dear, dear civicmon you don't get the toaster, I do. And trust me I am way beyond the toaster level - my recruiting skills are so good I get digital cameras, mp3 players, microwave's etc. But if it makes you happy, once we complete the recruiting I will buy you a toaster.

    :wavey:
     
  19. coma

    coma New Member

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  20. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    I just bought a camera last night too. :wtc:
     
  21. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    So take it back and I will give you mine from the spring recruiting campaign.

    Trust me, the toys gay guys have are way better than what you would get elsewhere.
     
  22. bioyuki

    bioyuki Ich habe Angst

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    :rofl: I want that shirt.
     
  23. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    You said it, sistah!!!

    Man, is it hard to find a good man....

    and it's good to find a hard man...
     
  24. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Me too... Why, just from the guys I've helped on OT come to terms with their homosexuality, I got a free trip to the Caribbean...
     
  25. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    hahaha... :kiss:
     

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