SRS can anyone help my depression

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Jun 2, 2006.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    734
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was abandoned a few years ago by all my friends and i've been spiraling deeper into depression ever since. I'm graduating High School tomorrow and I'm not gonna do shit over summer except work. Meanwhile, I met up with old friends today at school and it just got me thinking. I don't really WANT to do anything as a career. I can't help it, but I lack passion/emotion/enthusiasm for whatever is going on around me. I just don't give a shit about anyting anymore. I'm losing interest in my truck hobby. And i'm not making new interest in anything. They are all going to bigger schools/universities, and live lives without problems. I meanwhile can't find a reason to live and I'm very isolated. I think i'm going crazy. Crazy thoughts are going in and out of my head and it's breaking me down no matter how hard I try to keep composure. I need help, but I won't get it because I believe that I can overcome anything by myself which is how i've lived my life to this point. I've been battling with the depression for 4 years and i'm not going anywhere. I keep trying to study myselft and applying my mind to overcome my own mind disease but nothing is working. Im drained of all enery. The internet, the fucking internet, has become my refuge because i've got nowhere else.
     
  2. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    734
    Likes Received:
    0
    a Poem I wrote

    I can't see the light in the day
    or the love of the life which i'm livin a bad way
    the strength of my will is the only thing i have left
    no one else, just the sound of my breathe

    it feels like the end
    is upon me all the time
    struggle within, this bullshit
    my sigh

    to the ones who stand by, please don't waste your time
    I can't change because i've a dull mind
    everythings dry and substance abuse is the escape
    because of my pain, 4 years to this day

    god, i'm locked in a cage with no key
    nobody can help me
    few understand the silence
    few take time to care
    i'm used to their ignorance
    even my own despair

    the horror of this condition is all too real
    a barless prison that words can't reveal
    just a state of mind which slowly leaves my dying
    just a state of mind which i'm in all the time
     
  3. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    Depression is treatable. Very treatable. Are you going to college? When you get there, see the campus doc, since you will already have paid for him in your student fees), and then sign up for free counseling at your school. With a little work: problem solved in the most effective way possible.

    In the meantime contact your doctor. He can help. Tell him what you just told us. He'll help. And believe me, he's heard it 1000 times.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    You just received a map to a better life ^^^

    Use it.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Things will go better if you get a steady job , it will give pattern to your life, and you maby can give some extra flavour to your life by practising buddism, or seeking new horizons, along with stepping towards new people into making friends.
     
  6. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    734
    Likes Received:
    0
    i don't have medical insurance. maybe if I go to college then.
     
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm sorry that you're among the millions of uninsured. But you know what? So what. A trip to the doctor, along with a prescription for an anti-depressant (tell him you have no insurance and he can factor that into what he prescribes) is not very expensive. There are even free clinics for this. But the fact that you seem to have a computer tells me that you can get the money for the doctor, probably like $100-150 for the visit and medicine, from you parents. Tell the doctor you are broke and she will give you free samples to get you started. Doctors are there to help, after all.

    Tell your parents that you think you are clinically depressed and that your thoughts are concerning you and that you want to go to a doctor. See if they don't pony up the cash. I'm sure you're emberassed, but consider how emberassing it is for them to see you sad as hell all the time. I'm sure you catch flack over it. If they won't help, then call the country medical authorities. There will be free clinics listed in the "blue" section of your phone book. They will have free clinics. Give them a call, explain the situation, and they will direct you to the help you need. There is a way for you to get the help you need, period.

    Don't put this off. Tomorrow could be the beginning of the rest of your life: a better life. I've been there, and getting treatment was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Don't cheat yourself: get help.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2006
  8. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    One thing to understand: "Getting over things yourself," or "Getting by on your own," means "Getting the balls to go get medicine for your diseased brain," when you have sunk as far as you have into clinical depression. At some point your thinking organ just stops working properly in controlling those negative thoughts. Its an endless viscious cycle. Sad thoughts misbalance the mind more leading to more sad thoughts. But you can break the cycle, with your doctor's help and then once again you will be getting through your own shit on your own. Only then will you be your own man again. A tough guy. Right now you're ill, and you're no good to anybody. You can change that with one doctor visit and a commitment to follow the treatment.

    Good luck. Remember: like you said, you are the only one who can get yourself through this. That means calling a doctor on monday. May peace be with you as you do so.
     

Share This Page