SRS can anyone confirm or deny this for me?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tat was blue, Feb 13, 2005.

  1. tat was blue

    tat was blue New Member

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    i have this friend, and we've known eachother for a while. lately he's been telling me that straight guys are not friends with girls unless they want something, usually a relationship. this makes no sense at all to me, i mean this is not highschool. haven't we grown up? any thoughts?
     
  2. Perhaps that's just how it is for him. Obviously everyone individually has a different motivation. It doesn't really serve anyone to make claims like that about a general group when you've not met the entire group of people you're making your statement about.
     
  3. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I am not really just friends with a girl unless I want to date her. Or she knows other girls I like, an a few other reasons. There are a few girls I am just friends with but only like 2.
     
  4. tat was blue

    tat was blue New Member

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    so there are deffinatly guy girl relationships that are purely platonic for both parties, meaning, i was right and he was wrong....
    any other thoughts?
     
  5. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    A guy is only friends with girls he would have sex with if givin the chance.
     
  6. Yes. But it's likely that most aren't like that.
     
  7. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    it's extremely rare if the girl is attractive. i'd say 1 in 10 of your guy friends would not be hoping to hook up with you. my ex had a bunch of guy friends. only the gay ones weren't after her.
     
  8. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    that only happens until said guy grows up (if ever)

    I was a complete manwhore 20 years ago. I'm not proud of it.

    I now have several attractive friends that are women. I am committed to my marriage - so in theory, for me, the only "chance" I'd have sex with any of these women is if something were to happen to my wife and/or their husbands that would make us both single at the same time.

    Even then, I've been burned so many times in the past, that I don't think I'd have the courage to attempt to convert another friendship to more - the risk/reward ratio is too far out of balance. :hs:

    sex is sex, and can be found/had w/out too much difficulty - true friends are too rare to fuck with.
     
  9. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I struggle with this, with my attractive female friends. Does my attraction, my butterfly elation even, in our most intimate friendship moments, detract from things? Am I a sham, just dying to get laid? Its confusing, and frustrating. I often wish I could stop being attracted. But I can't.
     
  10. tat was blue

    tat was blue New Member

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    i understand that there are always those girls who are atractive, and they are swarmed by guys, who of course want more than just a friendship. but that is not every girl. there are girls who are strictly friends. girls who you feel nothing but friendship for, yes? cuz what he is saying, is no straight guy makes friends with a girl, for the sole purpose of being friends with her. and i'm certain i've had, even currently have, male friends who are just that. i like to think if one of these guys was interested in me another way, i would notice.
     
  11. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I guess I wouldn't really know, cause I'm bisexual. :wavey: Although I haven't had many girls for friends, it is possible to have them for friends and not want to do them... although, I mean... once you are friends with someone, do they not become more attractive the more than you like them as a human being? Does this not compel you to blow your load upon them? Its kinda the chicken or the egg thing. It doesn't mean that a guy isn't friends with a girl because of who she is as a person.

    Oh, BTW: Alot of "straight guys" actually want to have sex with their guy friends too. Not that they would admit it to themselves. Doesn't even mean that they're gay. Just means that sexuality isn't very specific.
     
  12. tat was blue

    tat was blue New Member

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    oh there's no doubt in my mind about that. it just doesnt' really affect me personally, and as a question i'm being really selfish about this. :p
     
  13. johan

    johan Active Member

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    They usually want something alright, but it's not as specific as a "relationship".

    Friendship with an attractive female always contains some element of sexuality in it, even if its at a very low-level, or impossible, or unwise.

    That's simply the way the human animal is built. How many third graders had a crush on their gorgeous 22-year old miniskirt-wearing teacher?
    Even at a young age, "attraction" plays into interaction even though the third grader doesn't really know what sex is, or what to do with a vagina if presented to him.

    But it's there, even if only very subtlely.

    Another example is that babies will stare longer and harder at more attractive faces presented to them as stimuli. It's simply the way we are.

    Having said that, we are more than our hormones, so we don't have to act out our impulses or fantasies. Polite society has built up so many walls and rules and regulations you might not even realize those raging impulses exist in other people. But they do. Oh yes they do...
     
  14. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Advice: Give up, and give up anal to all your guy friends. :rofl:
     
  15. tat was blue

    tat was blue New Member

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    riiiiight.... not gonna happen. for one thing, in my books my friends are friends for a reason, and i'm not drawnt to them sexually. that's why i'm so confused about this.
    but thanks everyone else for your help and input
     
  16. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Women and men are different in this regard.
     
  17. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Don't write a guy off just because he's your friend. Some of the best relationships you'll ever have are when you started off as friends.
     
  18. shangrilarcadia

    shangrilarcadia A lady

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    You should watch When Harry met Sally.

    I know that you think you have straight guy friends who are purely platonic, but the fact of the matter is, they probably aren't. You may not think of them sexually, but they probably think of you that way. It's unfortunate, but it's true.... If you have a single straight guy friend, they either have impure thoughts about you now, or they will eventually. It always ends up that way. And for the record, I'm a girl and can see it.
     
  19. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    But so what? The fact is, girls have thoughts about their guy friends too. They just don't admit that part of them wants to sit on every dick around them, because that would mean that they are big whores.
     
  20. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

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    Some guys are just brought up shallow, meaning they have always thought like that and they don't purposely want sex out of women all the time, like a mindset. Or maybe not? I'm just throwing around ideas,.. Anyway, the way we've been raised in this age, that you're considered gay if you hang around lots of women and do not participate in manly type things, lol. Ofcourse, lots of guys are insecure, I know i am.
     
  21. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    motion confirmed.
     
  22. tat was blue

    tat was blue New Member

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    well way to throw a stick in my proverbial spokes
     
  23. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Addendum:

    consider this...you're female, single, and attractive, and you believe your male friend's sexual thoughts toward you may be very very infrequent, almost nonexistent. Let's assume this actually is the case.

    Now you and he are over at your house late one night, and you excuse yourself and return from the bedroom, completely naked and suggest you two have sex, do you really think he would get the hell outta there?

    You have your answer.
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Girls will show affection and even flirt with guys that they aren't even interested in. Guys will only do this with girls they are interested in.
     
  25. tat was blue

    tat was blue New Member

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    ok but on that train of thought. i have very little faith that any single man would turn down sex, if offered, from any source. wether he thought about it befor hand or not.

    the question was about these guys thinking about it now.
     

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