broke up with my girlfriend, but...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Braddlac, Apr 5, 2009.

  1. Braddlac

    Braddlac OT Supporter

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    We dated for 6 months or so, but were pretty good friends before it turned into a relationship. Reason for the breakup - the relationship wasn't working out, but lets stay friends and see if we can turn off the dating aspect and get back to where we were before we dated to some degree.

    We've been broken up for two weeks, we hang out still and everyone we know gives us shit for it. On top of that we always just end up having sex when we're together.

    How bad is this situation? I can't decide if i should listen to my friends who are telling me to stop hanging out and having sex with her even if we have the goal of friendship eventually...or just see how things go with trying to be friends with her and see how things play out, however that may be.
     
  2. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    are you either of you in it for more then just the sex? i know you say you broke it off but did one come to the conclusion of breaking up more then the other?
    if yes then one of you is holding on to this friendship in hopes that the other will change his/her mind. if this is the case i would def end the sex aspect of it.

    if it was mutual then whats the harm?
     
  3. Memopad

    Memopad OT Supporter

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    Kind of had a similar situation a few years ago. Friends first, dated about 6months, then broke up, continued friendship. After we broke up, we still did almost everything we did when we were dating anyway, not much changed oddly. This probably continued for another 5 months (lol) until finally we got sick of eachother, had a fight, and haven't spoken since. Basically all the things that were wrong with our relationship finally came out in our friendship. That was 3 years ago this summer.

    If you're not going to be torn apart emotionally, then i say have fun. I don't think you'll be able to go back to the way it was before, and chances are you won't be friends much longer either. Only cut off all contact if you think someone isn't going to be able to handle things emotionally.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    it won't last. You'll either get back together, or eventually one of you will start getting involved with someone else, and that will end what you have now. Usually the person moving on does so just as the other person starts getting reattached.

    You're not together, but it's only been 2 weeks, you guys are still comfortable with each other so it's EASY to have sex when you're both feeling lonely.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's only bad if you are:
    1. Hoping for a relationship to start again
    2. Passing on other women to be around her
    3. Leading her to believe you are more than fuck buddies

    If none of these match your situation what so ever then keep doing what you are doing until you are tired of it :dunno: It wont last anyway.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    how is this not the ideal situation?
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    2nd'ed
     
  8. Braddlac

    Braddlac OT Supporter

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    it's just a weird situation cause everyone we know is giving us shit about it. I broke up with her, but we both agreed that it's best for the both of us, the relationship wasn't working.

    We don't feel like what we're doing is wrong, but we want to eventually transition into being friends, just friends, it obviously takes time to get there, but we're both willing to work towards that.

    both of us want to move on, but at the same time love spending time with eachother. We didn't break up because we couldn't stand eachother, but more so because the realtionship wasn't working.

    I don't meet any of the criteria on that list, so i suppose this is fine...and it'll just take some time until we stop having sex and both of us move on to other people while remaining friends.

    Is what i'm saying making sense? i mean this is my first relationship so i'm new to this...i hope this rant doesn't make me sound insane. Right?
     
  9. Braddlac

    Braddlac OT Supporter

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    which is what? you think I still want more?
     
  10. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :bowrofl: This is my favorite part.

    If this was your first relationship then your reaction sounds pretty normal. I would take what Beer said, but push it a step further and say if you're still hanging out with this girl regularly and still having sex with her, then you're already picking her over potential new mates.

    That being said, you don't sound like you're in a rush to get in a new relationship and you seem to be content with the way things are, so it sounds fine to me. Just be honest about your feelings, keep having fun, and stop when it starts to feel problematic.

    Oh and avoid looking at your actions as "wrong" because unless you're lying or cheating then I doubt there are any moral judgements or 'correct' answers. It's life, man. Just live it, enjoy it, and try and cause as little harm in the process (that includes to yourself).
     
  11. Braddlac

    Braddlac OT Supporter

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    i mean it's true (but it sounds real dumb when you point it out. :rofl:)...we didn't hate each other, at no point could we not stand each other. and it got to a point where we both realized the relationship wasn't going to last so we might as well end it and see what we can salvage. :dunno:
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I don't think you're crazy. There was a great guy friend of mine that always felt sexual tension with me (and me with him). We finally decided to just date and as a real couple it justr did not work at ALL. We mutually called it quits and our friends all ragged on us but it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks but yourself.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I don't think you're allowed to have sex with a woman on a regular basis if she's not officially your girlfriend. It is against the rules.
     
  14. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

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    3rd
     
  15. Braddlac

    Braddlac OT Supporter

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    :ugh: fuck buddy? what's that, illegal?
     
  16. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I think JJJ was being sarcastic.
     
  17. Braddlac

    Braddlac OT Supporter

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    so yeah, everyone that said this wouldn't work was right.

    this failed in an amazing blaze of arguments. i think i feel great about now though. I don't need a bitchy annoying ex in my life.
     
  18. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    picture this hypothetical course of events.

    you guys stop having sex
    each of you has at least 1 other stable sex partner (another fuckbuddy, gf/bf, etc).
    that 'other' ends for you both.

    then see how both of you feel about hanging out/hooking up.
    would it change things? if so, then this situation probably isn't healthy.

    edit: just read your post. didn't realize there was an update. can you provide more details?
     
  19. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    :love: this :rofl:
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: at least you learned something...or I hope you did :squint:
     
  21. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    How did it fail?

    One of you got feelings for the other or what?
     
  22. Braddlac

    Braddlac OT Supporter

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    update: she totally took back her words that she doesn't want to see or talk to me again. this girl is insane, but it's kinda fun seeing where things keep going...still fucking though, it doesn't really matter much anymore, i'm moving to china for a year in august--so i'll see what happens when i leave if we still keep in contact and such
     
  23. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Good luck, just keep a fun game til you leave to China, no harm, no foul. :wiggle:
     

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