Broke up with gf of 6 years... What do I do?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by C32, May 25, 2008.

  1. C32

    C32 *The M3 Executioner*

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    So my gf and I started dating senior year in HS and continued through/after college until now. We have taken time off one time before, but that was while we were in school. Anyway, the point is, we had gotten to the point where marriage was the only step forward for us, but we weren't ready for that for a number of reasons, so we ended up breaking up. I love her and I know she loves me, but I think she's hurt I didn't want to get engaged as early as she did.

    I don't think we're ready to get married, if we are meant to get married at all, but I can't stand to not be with her. WTF do I do?
     
  2. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Improve yourself. Work on your game.
     
  3. GTSlow

    GTSlow New Member

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    Get out to the bars, talk to some girls. Hang out with some of your single friends and party it up. Watch a ton of porn. You'll feel better.
     
  4. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    well if you love her and she loves you why can't you get married? Guys on here are all gonna tell you to go get laid and that'll make it better, but that's cause they (myself included) were all in LTR's that never went anywhere and so their focus is really on getting yourself over it...

    Maybe you're scared to get engaged but that doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. :dunno: People get scared of doing the right thing just as often as they are of doing the wrong thing.
     
  5. kit99bar

    kit99bar USPA Class 2, weak, old man!

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    agreed to skeletor
     
  6. alo816

    alo816 New Member

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    Go to the gym, get your confidence up, meet some new ladies and have some fun. Those years you spent with her were supposed to be the years you gained experience and partied and had a great time before settling down. You should make up for lost time. In the end if you still want to be with her then its meant to be. But you should definitely go have fun with some other girls or else your going to end up being unsatisfied in your relationship.
     
  7. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    6 years isnt really that early or that fast. I could see how she would want to get engaged, especially if you both are out of college. You could even prolong it with a long engagement. If you love each other, and you want to be together, why wouldnt you want to talk about getting married? Are you scared? Do you have other reasoning? Can you talk to her honestly about those things and get her to wait instead of breaking up?
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I honestly honestly honestly think that marriage means a lot more for women than for men.

    At least for right now, I have an attitude of "If you're happy together, just be together and stay together, marriage is just a word/formality (aside from tax breaks and certain other legal benefits). You're still the same people an hour before you get married as you are an hour after getting married.

    I think a lot of women see it as and endpoint or final stage of growth for a relationship, when in reality, it is more like a plateau or continuation of the stage before it.

    So just because he doesn't want to get married does not me he no longer loves her...he just may not see any point to it.
     
  9. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    I didnt say he doesnt love her anymore, I said he does, and he said he does.

    I dont see marriage as a final stage, I just see it as a new plateau. Or a new beginning of a totally different stage.

    I dont think marriage is just a word or formality, and it does mean a lot to me. At the same time, we are just "being together and staying together" because we're in no position to get married. But I'm also at a very different point in my relationship than you are, so I could see the difference in opinions.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  11. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    sounds like my story......

    i broke up w/ her the last week of february & have only talked to her a handful of times (basically b/c we lived together & we had to get money situations worked out). she im'd me & said she "kind of missed us"...me her & our dog (which i now have b/c it was bought by me :) ). It's tough man....I've been hanging out w/ friends, GYM A LOT (I wasn't fat by any means, but I lost 12-15 lbs & now I'm ripped up & feel/look a lot better), BARS/DRINKING...I go out drinking every weekend now (before i would go out once a month maybe, it was like we were married). there are positives & negatives to this whole thing...I realized that i did like her family & miss them (although i had some issues w/ some of her family members)...i obviously miss her, sounds cliche, but she was like my best friend for so many years..i still think we had a lot of things in common & we were a good match for eachother, but i guess it just wasnt meant to be...i obviously miss the sex.. give it time, youll be alright.

    i was somewhat depressed & down when i was w/ her....now i go out & im confident/cocky/"smart ass"
     
  12. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    did you have certain goals or plans or things you wanted to do before you got married? did you want to marry her, but just not right now?

    if you had certain things you needed to accomplish first, it seems like she is being selfish for not waiting for you to finish those things. if you want to marry her but just dont feel ready, ask yourself why you dont feel ready. its a huge decision and not one to be taken lightly, so i dont think that you being unsure if its time is really a horrible thing. i hope that you take the time to seriously think through proposing to someone since it is forever.

    if you just dont want to marry her, then just find any way you can to keep yourself busy, and avoid all types of contact with her. you might miss her, but if she wants to get married and you dont, its only fair to leave her be and let her find someone who will marry her, while you find someone who is fine not getting married

    good luck :hug:
     
  13. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I don't get it?

    Was the only reason you didn't marry her because you "were not ready"?
    If you love her, and she loves you then what is the problem? If you were unsure of her being the one you want to marry then that's a different issue altogether.

    When you're with someone that long people (guys especially) are afraid to get married because they don't want to tie the knot and be "stuck" without seeing what else is out there. Maybe you need this time to yourself to see what you really want. If several months down the road you still find yourself thinking "maybe she was the one" you can contact her and try to get things going again..... Otherwise, expect it to be a long time before you're completely over and not constantly thinking if you made a mistake.
     
  14. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    So I'm assuming the break up was mutual? Like others asked.. what were the reasons for not getting married? Are you wanting to date around and make sure she's the right one? Do you not want to get married at all? Too young? Too soon?

    Personally when a woman pressures me to do something it turns me off a lot.. One girl kept asking why I didn't "love her" and it was because we had only been dating a few months. I told her I'd say it when I truly felt it and the more she pressured me about it the more annoyed I'd get.

    When you're ready to get married you'll know and you'll be the one who wants to ask it.
     
  15. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    If you love her and want to marry her eventually, I suggest a long engagement. Win win.

    If you dont want to marry her period, then just move on.
     

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