SRS Broke up with BF of two years

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by wrwarwick, Sep 1, 2008.

  1. wrwarwick

    wrwarwick OT Supporter

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    My bf of 2 years broke up with me last week and basically said he can't be gay anymore. He wasnt really gay before he met me I guess, but we were in love. He grew up getting in and out of trouble for smoking weed and more. Ever since we broke up he has been going back to NVA a lot and hanging out with his old friends and getting wasted every night.

    I do not want to see him throw his life away, I can't take this. I want him, when we broke up I was mad at him about something stupid and so I didn't even try to fight it, I acted happy. Now I fear I am too late...

    He has a GF now, he met her the weekend before we broke up and I guess fell in love :)vomit:). He still likes to cuddle with me, he has still kissed me since then.

    He is tearing apart his family, his mom is worried about him and so is his little brother. So am I, all of our friends, its like hes self destructing.

    He is coming home today from NVA and I am going to move out with my mom tonight I think.

    This is a poem I just sent him, he didnt answer his phone I guess he got wasted last night...

    I remember a different you
    I remember a you who had a fire for Christ
    I remember a you who had a call to ministry
    I remember a you crying on my shoulder begging me not to let you drink anymore
    I remember a you scared you would get locked up again
    I remember a you telling me about how every time you get out you do good for awhile before throwing it all away
    I remember a you making me promise I will not let that happen again
    I see a you and its happening again
    Why cant I stop you?
    Let me stop you...
     
  2. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    So he's throwing away his life because he's not gay any more?
     
  3. wrwarwick

    wrwarwick OT Supporter

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    Maybe i wasnt detailed enough cuz its really rough right now.

    He is throwing away his life because he has started drinking again after having a childhood full of addiction problems, getting locked up for it 3 seperate times and always getting out, having a period of doing good then going right back to his habits...

    What happens is he does good, he thinks he can control it and just wants to have fun with friends, starts drinking, loses control, moves on to harder stuff (past includes coke/weed/heroin) and then it consumes his life until he gets locked up/put in treatment again....and he is only 21 :(
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    People who have addictions are people who aren't really alive. They are being lived by their addictions instead. Your ex doesn't need to be in a relationship at this moment, he needs to be in rehab , alcohol addictions, and addictions in general destroy more then you love. And i don't know who's idea it was to get wasted every day, but c'mon that's just not healthy. I think that you shouldn't have joined such a life, because regardless wether you're gay or not, its not a justification to live a bad lifestyle and waste away your health on drugs,alcohol,sigarettes or other addictions.

    All the booze is confusing his mind, and he doesn't know what he wants anymore, furthermore(although i honestly don't want to hurt your feelings) i think you love him more then he loves you.

    I think you took a rather big gamble by going into a relationship were your partner still isn't comfortable and undecided on what his preference on gender and sexuality is. In other words 'he wasn't ready yet', i think you were more then ready and disregarded his position and because you loved him have pushed him into a relationship were he wasn't just yet ready for.

    And right now he's such a mess, you should be helping him at this moment first foremost , because he needs help on his alcohol addictions, although it might be a bit delicate, i would definitly try to get him back on the right track again.
     
  5. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    there isn't much you'll be able to do for him. he's young and won't realize the extent of the problem until he's older and doesn't have much to show for himself. let him figure it out on his own, it's not your burden.

    and i hope you're not going to try and win him back. he's sounds like a confused mess.
     
  6. wrwarwick

    wrwarwick OT Supporter

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    Hes on his way home from nva now.

    He calls every 3 minutes crying saying he feels alone, he says he doesnt care anymore and doesnt want to feel anymore. He hangs up then calls right back.

    IDK what to do :(
     
  7. fray

    fray New Member

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    is he high/drunk right now?
     
  8. wrwarwick

    wrwarwick OT Supporter

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    Gosh no, if he was drinking and driving I would call the state troopers myself to report it.
     
  9. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Okay, just wanted to make sure.
     
  10. fray

    fray New Member

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    I just wondered if that's why he was so upset and spastic about things at the moment, with the calling and crying and whatnot.
     
  11. wrwarwick

    wrwarwick OT Supporter

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    So he is home, and we talked, and prob had the best sex of our lives, but now he wont talk to me :(
     
  12. fray

    fray New Member

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    Run. Boy does not know what he wants...
     
  13. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Oh no, he knows. And he just got it.
     
  14. fray

    fray New Member

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    No, if that were the case he would leave, not sit and cry.
     
  15. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Um, he did. He left and isn't talking. Or did I misunderstand?
     
  16. fray

    fray New Member

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    I guess the crying was earlier. I was under the impression he was still there. Maybe you are right. I have no idea.
     
  17. wrwarwick

    wrwarwick OT Supporter

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    No he cried, and I had to take his car away from him because he started shaking saying he needs to go get a drink. I called his mom to make sure it was ok to take the car (its in her name too) and she told me to do it. I came back this morning and fell asleep on the floor next to the bed. We cuddled some, I woke up made him breakfast and he talked a little bit.

    I am trying to get him to go out to a movie or something, just to get him out of the house. He is sitting around moping the whole time. He had a GF for two days but he said it didnt work out, he told was trying to replace her with me (his words) and she said that she could tell he was still in love with me :(

    I think a big part of this is his conflict with being gay and christian.
     

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