Breaking up.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ChrisOT, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. ChrisOT

    ChrisOT New Member

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    I've only had to break up once before but it was really easy, I had good reasons to with the physical abuse, pyschotic behaviour, and plans to break into my apt and destroy things.

    Now I'm dating a girl who's clearly way ahead in what she thinks we are, I'm pretty sure she has the idea we are going to be together forever but I need to drop her asap (without going into details) and I've never had to do it this way before.

    I want to know if it's a good thing to mention why, obviously if I say "I want to break up with you" she will ask why but all my reasons are flaws with her and to be honest I don't want to hurt her more than I would just have already.

    Same with me, if she broke up I'd like to know why but, if you think about it more it'll probably be bad sides you don't want to hear.

    But it would be heartless to just say "Im out, see you!"
    I've been holding on too long because I care too much about her feelings.

    Long distance relationship and met online, seen each other twice for like 10 days each time and about 6months in. Can't be fucked with this anymore really. :(
     
  2. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Wait... what?

    So I was with you and was really starting to form a valid response... then I read this

    So first off, its and LDR, second, assuming you met online, its mainly an online relationship?

    Bro, just tell her things aren't going the way you'd like them to. Tell her you aren't comortable with the way the relationship is and you dont see it working out much longer.

    Dude... shes obviously a whiles away... how hard can it be if she physically isnt in your life every day?
     
  3. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    just tell her the truth mang, it sounds like she isnt very experienced, it could help her with future relationships.. or destroy her.. one of those

    but seriously, if the truth is going to hurt her too much, then make something up, but dont just leave out of no where
     
  4. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    tell her you are looking for something different in a relationship and dont think she is the right match for you. i would assume that pretty much sums it up, and while its going to hurt her no matter what, its better than saying "your too ugly for me, and your gaining weight" (or whatever else you might tell her that would hurt her feelings that you dont want to talk about)
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You call her (since you are long distance) and just say you are sorry but you are not feeling it anymore and it's too much work that you are not ready for. That's how you end it without having to basically tell her it's all her that you don't like. Don't let the breakup carry on for an hour, it doesn't have to be long because:
    1. You've only been dating 6 months
    2. You are long distance

    Do it sooner than later, tonight even.
     
  6. _A_

    _A_ New Member

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    Sounds like you meet her and arnt physically attracted to her?

    Id just say that you dont really see a future with her and you feel its best to just move on.


    Did you meet her on WoW?:mamoru:
     
  7. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Breaking up blows, but just say "I think we should see other people" and if she asks why tell her the truth. I Believe it is better to tell the truth rather then spin lies.
     
  8. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    exactly, unless the truth is something like "because your teeth are yellow and crooked"
     
  9. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    just be honest with her. don't be too vague, give her some closure. it doesn't matter if she ends up hating you, you can't control that. just don't be rude, mean, hateful, etc. just because the truth hurts sometimes, it doesn't mean you shouldn't say it.

    personally, it sucks when someone breaks up with you and doesn't give you any real closure. i try to learn from my mistakes and improve upon myself for the next relationship. therefore, knowing where i came up short in her eyes can be useful. certainly appreciate an honest response than some of the more cliche ones used. otherwise, it's all "well, i did nothing wrong, she's crazy and is the one losing out, la la la la la".
     
  10. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    I like to think that I'd tell someone the truth no matter what.
     
  11. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    be honest, tell her the truth, it's hard to move on without closure.
     
  12. ChrisOT

    ChrisOT New Member

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    I've done it, told her what was wrong and that I didn't feel right to keep going on further without telling her, it's wrong to just lie in a relationship and pretend it's still going faking it with your partner.

    She took it surprisingly well but did say at the end I needed to "chill the fuck out" and that I over-react, she kind of sounded like nothing happened at all, good for me I guess?

    There was no spiteful revenge, or hate.

    I honestly feel that I'm bad at relationships, in the way of commiting myself, maybe it's because I haven't found the right person (nor am I actively out there looking for someone) but I guess there's always a chance I'm one of those people that doesn't get on well in a close relationship.

    When I think of commitment I look back on my past experiences and immediately think of time consuming, drudgery and boredom doing things I don't want to do, I probably did it with the wrong person.

    Anyway, it's done. I didn't let it draw out.

    Had mixed opinions, some people even said I was cruel & mean but, hey.... my life, my choice, if -I- don't feel happy then I have to do something about it, right?

    Thanks for the advice, beating around the bush just makes things harder so I just did it.
     
  13. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :hug:

    I don't think it's possible to break up with a person without someone thinking you were cruel. It's just part of the deal. :hs:
     

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