Breaking up with someone sucks...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Mugen92GS-R, May 14, 2008.

  1. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    20,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've broken up with the last four girls I dated. Granted, one of them cheated on me so I HAD to break up with her, but this last one just killed me.

    She was SO fucking nice and sweet, you have NO idea. Every guy DREAMS of having a girl treat him as good as she treated me, but for some reason I just couldn't get in to it. I don't know what it was, and I wanted it to work out with us, but I just couldn't get in to it, and it fucking sucks, because I REALLY didn't want to hurt her... she just didn't deserve that at all... but I thought about it for a while and I decided it's what was best... that I wasn't ready to give up looking for that spark so early in life...

    Jesus I just feel like scum... Part of me thinks this is good because I'm not settling, because I'm not saying "oh well you have these faults? I can look past them... because I'm desperate", and that my patience will be rewarded...

    I just didn't want to hurt her and now she's devastated. Is there ANY good fucking way to end it?

    Sorry, just rambling. Maybe I'll be kicking myself in the ass for this soon...
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Wait, is this the one you and I talked about? The one you had great sex with? Or did you find another girl right after her?? :confused:

    Either way, I was just talking to jonno about this and I bet others could relate. Sometimes you meet someone that is everything you ever told yourself you wanted. When they are finally yours all of a sudden you don't feel that spark and you question yourself. You did the right thing breaking up wth her as well.

    However, maybe this recent slew of "relationships" breaking off should teach you to maybe stop making every girl your "girlfriend." You can just as easily date them casually and end thngs if they don't feel great.
     
  3. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2003
    Messages:
    4,678
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ATL
    Good girls are hard to find now a day... I guess she wasn't hot enough. :sad2:
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's like the Scrubs episode were JD wants Elliott when he can't have her....then he gets her and is thinking "OMG i don't want her!"

    Funny for a show, absolutely sucky in real life.

    Serious question to think about...maybe you're happier just being single right now?
     
  5. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    20,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well me and this last girl were never boyfriend / girlfriend, we were dating, but not in a relationship.

    And yes, this was the one we talked about.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Well you were supposed to break it off long ago. Notice how the longer you let it drag on the harder it was?
     
  7. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    20,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wasn't purposefully letting it 'drag on', I WANTED to develop feelings for her and I wasn't ready to give up on that when I talked with you about it. As it turned out, sure it should have ended about a month ago, but I just couldn't leave her without knowing I couldn't feel for her like that...
     
  8. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    and the longer you let it drag on, the more it hurts her as well. if you are not into it, you did her a favor by ending it so that she too can go out and find someone who fits her better.

    i dont think there is any easy way to tell someone "i dont like you like that anymore" so dont beat yourself up about it too much. if the chemisty wasnt there, you cant force it and its best for both of you to just end it and move forward
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Oh I know that's what you were trying to do, and like I mentioned before usually everyone feels that way about someone at least once and they attempt to drag it out to develop feelings...but that's just not right for either party.

    Oh well, you live and learn. Shoulda listened to me ;)
     
  10. dukedevil0

    dukedevil0 Stop looking at me, swan.

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2001
    Messages:
    8,320
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    chicago
    I can relate to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of 9months about a month ago even though a lot of the times things were great, we had so much in common, and she was almost everything i wanted in a girl. There were just a couple small things that kept me from really getting into it and ruined all the great things for me. I still get sad and think about whether I should try and get her back, even though I do feel it was for the best.
     
  11. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    20,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    I should always just have a button called "What would beer do"... scratch that... i'd be pushing it all the time :rofl:
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    .

    The first gf I ever had (together for 3.5 years) I broke up with. She was perfect, and I completely broke her heart when I ended it. A few months later, I started to regret it. Last year I found a letter she wrote me after I broke up with her and I read it, and even 5 years later it made me cry. Honestly I'm almost beginning to tear up now just thinking about it.

    I regretted breaking up with her for the next 6 years, through subsequent relationships and periods of being single. It's not that she was my "first love," that made it tough (technically, she wasn't even my first love) it was that she and I were so perfectly compatible and that is very rare. And like you said about your gf, she was an absolute sweetheart to me. Gorgeous, brilliant, loyal, selfless, and on the same wavelength of intellect/interest/temper/humor as me. Perfect. Of course, I was all those things back to her (and she thought I was hot :rofl: ), so it was a perfect match.

    My current gf is the only girl I've dated since who has measured up in all those aspects of compatibility. So far, at least.

    Oh yeah, my point was breaking up with someone does suck.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    It's always a bitch when it happens. If anything it should teach you that no one is perfect. I always looked for the same kind of guy. I had the "perfect" guy criteria in my head and when I finally thought I met him I realized he wasn't what I wanted at all and we didn't mesh correctly! That's why it was almost an epiphany when I met my current SO because he's everything I never knew I needed.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    speed dial, yo! :mamoru:
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    sounds horrible, sry
     
  16. ZeeAyKay

    ZeeAyKay New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    If she was so great, why'd you break up with her? I'm kinda in a situation where there's this great girl I'm with, except I'm going to college next year. Even though I'm only gonna live a little less than a half hour away from her, it'll be tough with age and us having different experiences and stuff. I'm just afraid if I break up w/ her I'm totally going to regret it, maybe not immediately, but months or even years down the road. Sorry for the little rant...
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2008
  17. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Hey, just saw your reply now.

    Read this thread I wrote about a year ago. It explains it:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3068383

    Age? Are you guys different ages?

    And a half hour away from each other is nothing.

    I don't know what to tell you. I'm dating someone awesome right now. Maybe I'm just a weird case where the first serious gf I had ended up being such a good experience.

    Most people on this board will probably tell you "if you're going to college you should definitely break up; there will be too much temptation when you're at college." Also you didn't mention if she's going to college with you or not.

    Why are you considering breaking up with her now, anyway?
     
  18. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

    Joined:
    May 14, 2005
    Messages:
    15,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Francisco
    how long have you been dating? is she probably going to go to the same college next year?

    all in all, it may be best to break up because the relationship will likely fail eventually anyway, and it would suck to waste your freshman year of college in a relationship that resulted in a dead end. i did that, although i don't regret being in the relationship, it may have been silly to get so caught up in it as to not have the full college experience my freshman year.

    i'm going to be a junior in college next year, and out of all the people that were coming out of my high school who tried to make it work (many had been together for 2+ years prior), i can only think of 4 couples who have made it thus far (3 go to the same school, 1 doesn't). and it has less to do with going to the same school and more to do with just being in college in general. people get scared of commitment, go through huge growing and confusing periods, and come out of them totally different people that are often incompatible with who they were with before.

    anyway, good luck to you. i think breaking up may be the correct option, but i know it's hard to end a relationship when nothing is wrong RIGHT NOW.
     
  19. trojen28

    trojen28 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    manhattan
    No what ya mean. I recently broke up with a guy i had just started seeing... I know I did it for legit reasons, and that things wouldnt work, but still can't help but miss him. it's like he was a good guy, and we had fun together, but i know we wouldn't work out..
    ugh. breakups suck
     

Share This Page