Break ups 2 make ups...not so much make up

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by donpisto, May 18, 2007.

  1. donpisto

    donpisto New Member

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    Yeah i know i hardly post here, just wanted to dwell on how tough breaking up is. As of a few hours ago, my relationship has ended with my gf...we had been together for 2 years and 2 months..i really love her, just that things didnt work out..we are not on the same page anymore and to my surprise she wants to remain friends, which i would want...i just wish things could have worked out. I guess now i gotta wait to say goodbye to a tangerine sky and say hello to tomorrow.
     
  2. First order of business, start living for yourself and making yourself happy. Otherwise you will make the getting over her period even harder on yourself than you need to. Good luck to you.

    Beast
     
  3. donpisto

    donpisto New Member

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    Thanks, I appreciate the kind words. Its just tough because I'm the type of person to want to make others happy before myself. I just dont like seeing people gettin hurt or hurting themselves and it makes me feel good when i help others. its just come to the point where i cant help anymore, at least with this situation.
     
  4. That is naturally how I was, you need to realize that no one should ever be put before yourself, that being selfish to a certain extent will make you happy. I'm sure that helping others makes you happy, but when was the last time you put yourself ahead of others? Now is the best time to. Also, related to this, let it go, there is a long line of problems that probably caused the break-up, so it's better to avoid them and work on you now. It's a prime time for it. I promise you will be fine.

    Beast
     
  5. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    the beast speaks words of truth.
     
  6. donpisto

    donpisto New Member

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    Yeah, that wasnt the only factor, i guess its best not to think about it...move on, time will come. gotta look forward to happiness. One major thing i can take out of this is that i know what i want for sure, im not gonna settle for anything less, im not gonna bother trying to make it work like i did before. not saying it has to be perfect but i have some guidelines which arent gonna change. Thanks again. It really makes me feel better reading the truth.
     
  7. I'm glad you are walking away with a positive attitude, it's rare that anyone walks out of a relationship trying to learn a lesson and being positive, but when someone does, it says a lot about them. Respect.

    Beast
     
  8. donpisto

    donpisto New Member

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    Well I figure theres always somethin to learn from...dont wanna reapeat the same mistakes.
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Girls always say they want to remain friends.

    Stay away from her, its only going to hurt you.

    I say this from experience.

    If you actually want her back, the only way to make it happen is to cut all contact and even then she may never come back to you. But if you start hounding her all you are going to do is damage your self-esteem and push her farther away.

    You can't logically convince a woman to like you, and just because she agrees to be your girlfriend doesn't mean she actually likes you.
     
  10. Where were you back in March? :bowdown:

    Beast?
     
  11. DrK_Mrk_iV

    DrK_Mrk_iV OT Supporter

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    Cut off all contact with her.

    I went through the same thing. Don't get back with her. It WILL NOT work and just make you miserable.
     
  12. .

    Beast
     
  13. Jackie Treehorn

    Jackie Treehorn Active Member

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    That is really demoralizing. How does one know if a girl genuinely likes you then? :squint:
     
  14. I'm assuming he's talking about the second time around. Sometimes a woman agrees because she has nothing better in her life.

    Beast
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  16. Jackie Treehorn

    Jackie Treehorn Active Member

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  17. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    I like the idea of it, but I disagree with the premise: only go for girls who are interested in you

    I believe that it is just as, if not more, important to learn to CREATE attraction in women... and then do everything else.
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Obviously there is more than one way.

    From my experience, I've never had to do anything to create attraction: some women are naturally attracted to me and its always been that way.

    My personality is that I want to be the focus, and I want her to come to me. I don't want to go to her (but I do accept the responsibility of the initial approach, making the date plans, etc.).

    But that's just me.

    I've spent very little time on creating attraction. I have, however, spent tons of time learning how not to spoil her attraction by being needy and showing too much interest, etc.
     
  19. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    :werd: It's personal preference, I just want to put it out there for people that exacerbating existing attraction isn't the only system
     
  20. donpisto

    donpisto New Member

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    Well i got a text msg from her this morning and she asked how i was. i told her im hurt, it sucks, but thats a given and it will take time for it to pass. she said that she really wouldnt want to stay friends and im assuming she said that yesterday because she knew i was feelin down and wanted to make me feel better. the more i text her the more my feelings are shifting towards wanting to be with her and work things out. but im just gonna walk away from it as hard as it is and keep in mind that i was too controlling of her, being on top of her schoolwork and bills. there was a point where we looked at the relationship for our future together and its as though im taking it that our relationship is similar to a marriage, whereas we arent binded financially and she should be free to do whatever she wants. i guess what it is, is that shes a great person to hang out with, but relationship-wise not what im wanting because at some point in time things changed....she is right that i am on her back often, i just was tryin to help her in her best interests but maybe those are actually my interests for her, not what she wants. I just wanna get off work already and kick it with my cousin and relax, take my mind off it and relax and not worry about anything. there is only one solution to all this...i wish i won the super lotto, then id be able to help out family and those who are close to me. Thanks everyone for your support and thoughts. Its nice to see things outside the shell and even outside the sea.
     
  21. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    the only fucking way to get over a girl is to cut off all contact with her. For men, attraction is an on-off switch. For women, it is a volume knob.
     
  22. Don't read her texts.

    Don't respond to her texts.

    If need be change your number.

    Don't listen to a word she says.

    She's playing with you at this moment because that's how a woman is, she wants a reason to justify her actions.

    Ignore her.

    Go make yourself happy.

    Beast
     
  23. donpisto

    donpisto New Member

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    Well we text through out the day. Long story short, we both realize its not gonna work out. She's actually the one thats doing what you all are suggesting. She doesn't want to remain friends, my guess because it would be tough for her to communicate and not bring back old feelings/memories and fall in the same trap. At least we both now know for sure whats goin on and theres nothing to question. Now its time to heal....my cousin better be available like he said...hooka time in T-2 hours.
     
  24. I'm done mentioning what you need to do, good luck.

    Beast
     
  25. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    as what has already been said...it is time to focus on yourself

    you need to be able to be happy ALONE, without any woman in your life...

    you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and realize it's for the better

    stay busy, hang out with friends, spend time with family, get shit done and be happy being you
     

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