SRS Break up or stay together?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Frinkenstein, Jan 23, 2007.

  1. Frinkenstein

    Frinkenstein New Member

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    I originally posted this in the Vaginarium, but I think it may be more appropriate in this forum??? I'm new here, so not too sure.

    Basically, I feel confused about my own feelings towards my GF. She IS a great catch (smart, funny, easy to be around and has an incredible social conscious) but like everyone has a few drawbacks (clingy and we don't have too much in common).

    My problem is that I am not sure if I am "in love" with her enough to marry her. I'm confused about my own feelings because I don't know what if feels like to be in love that much... Am I crazy?

    Maybe I actually do love her enough? But then, shouldn't I definitely know that inside myself? I mean, I care for her deeply and we're very comfortable together (and as I mentioned, the sex is great). However, when I'm away on business I don't miss her nearly as much as she misses me. I don't feel an intense longing to be with her although I am excited to see her when I get home.

    Maybe I just love her and am comfortable with her, but am not "In love" with her. If that is the case, I definitely should break up with her. But, I second guess myself all the time. I think to myself that maybe I'd be missing out on the best thing that ever happened to me! On one hand, I know I could probably live have a happy life with her. But, maybe I could have a much better life with someone else? Sometimes I question whether or not I am capable of the sort of deep intense passionate love that seems to exist in movies but which I have not experienced for myself. Maybe I already love her as much as I am capable of loving anyone?

    All comments/help are appreciated.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    So basically,
    on paper, she's awesome, anyone would be crazy not to lock her down, her 'stats' are excellent.

    in practice, there's something lacking. You can't identify it, but the bond just isn't there, at least not strong enough to make you want to jump in and grab onto her with both hands.


    And then you suggest...maybe you're incapable of loving deeply. She's awesome by every definition...so why don't I love her like mad? Maybe the problem is with me...

    So...is that really true? I doubt it... but you tell me.



    Personally I think she has all these great attributes, but she's not just the right girl FOR YOU.
     
  3. itsjim

    itsjim New Member

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    Let me start off by saying that I'm really glad I got to read this post. Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I've come to the conclusion that once you start dating a girl they are all clingy and that they all have more emotions than any male (straight or not) will ever have. If you keep up your current way of thinking then your never going to have that "perfect" girl for the simple reason that perfect doesn't exist. I think you nailed it about trying to find that movie type love, and sadly it just doesn't exist. If you decide to break up with her make sure that its because YOU want to, and not some outside influence.
     
  4. Frinkenstein

    Frinkenstein New Member

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    Thanks for the replies so far... I'm not sure they're helping to clear my head about what I should do, but I appreciate them nonetheless.

    BTW, I just came across this article: http://gailsaltz.ivillage.com/health/2006/12/love_love_love.html

    Does anyone put much stock into it? Should I expect to be "in love" forever? whatever that means???
     
  5. Jibblebits

    Jibblebits New Member

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    sounds like something my Bf would say about our relationship...to be honest i know he doesn't love me as much as he says he does..But just be honest with her if you don't love her and you don't think it's going to work out the tell her she deserves to know if she's as great as you say she is than atleast be decent enough to tell her the truth...
     

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