SRS BPD and college

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by keeler, Apr 7, 2008.

  1. keeler

    keeler New Member

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    i have borderline personality disorder. Im a college student and have changed my major 7 times, even changing back to some i was originally in. I start each major with extreme enthusiasm, as i did with my current major. I changed my major last semester, and i'm currently not sure i like it and kinda want to change again. I have an urge to change back to a major i already had. this entire thing is leaving me extremely frustrated and i have been in college too long with nothing to show for it. anyone have any advice, or are in a similar situation?
     
  2. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    That's not borderline personality disorder, that's bipolar disorder.

    Borderline Personality Disorder is a borderline-psychosis condition in which you subconsciously associate real things with figments of your imagination, and you can choose (also subconsciously) whether you pay more attention to the real thing or to the figment. (It's that ability to choose reality vs. your imagination that makes it borderline-psychosis, instead of full psychosis.)

    My mother has it. She's been married to my father for 27 years, and the whole time she's really been in love with the man of her dreams, which my father is an anchor for, but when he does something inconsistent with her imagined "perfect man", there's hell to pay for it. It's not fun, and he's trying to get a divorce, but she's dragging her feet because she's still in love with the man of her dreams, and if my father goes away, then she won't be able to superimpose her imagination onto him anymore.

    Now, you might have the same thing going on; you might be changing from one major to another because you're superimposing your fantasy of a gratifying education and a wonderful career, only to find out later that it isn't true, so I won't say you're wrong about your self-diagnosis. But I will say that you need to figure out whether you're really imagining the perfect college major and trying to find something real that you can superimpose it on, or whether you're just not sure what you want to do with your life.

    If you really are borderline-psychotic, then you need to get medication, and I wish you luck. On the other hand, if you're just unsure of what you want to do, and each new idea seems great until you get down to the nitty-gritty, then you need to man-up and accept that work is still work, no matter how much you think you'll like doing it. Nobody gets to cure cancer every day of the week.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2008
  3. keeler

    keeler New Member

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    sorry but your wrong. it was orginally thought to be the "borderline" of psychosis but has since been revised.
    (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity.
    http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder.shtml

    and where did i say i was self diagnosed...... this isn't a thread about whether or not I have BPD.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2008
  4. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Huh. When was the definition revised? And why didn't they change the name to reflect the new definition?

    Anyway, they say that one of the symptoms of BPD is changes in mood, outlook, and goals that last a few days at most. Are you really changing your major that often? Can you define what it is about them you eventually realize you don't like? Maybe there's a pattern to it.

    EDIT: Sorry about the assumption that it was a self-diagnosis. People (especially college-age and younger) come up with all kinds of crazy explanations for why they do what they do, and you didn't say you had been professionally diagnosed, so I put 2+2 together and got 5.
     
  5. keeler

    keeler New Member

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    i've been reflecting a lot on the whole thing since my first post. It seems to go that ill choose a major, then hit a setback like doing poorly in a class, then change majors. i went through a made a list of my majors and what i think set me into the mood to change.
    engineering (trig- failed, didn't go to class, i think i got discouraged at the amount of math i would have to take)
    psychology (zoo lab, i ended up not doing well in zoo lab but i believe that the reason i didn't do well was because at this point in my life my father was consantly hounding me about how "psych was a useless degree and what job am i going to get with it")
    aviation (i'm afraid of heights, but i don't even know why i chose this, i think i was just trying to please my father at this point)
    transfered schools
    Nursing (was this for about 3 semesters, then the reality of working around sick people set it, i'm a germiphobic and a bit of a hypochondriac. I did great in these classes and nurses get paid bank but i'm just not sure thats what i want to do for a job. If i could be a nurse that didn't work around sick people then that would be great, maybe like a mental health nurse... does that even exist?)
    Engineering (again)- i hate math, physics, all that jazz, i think engineering can be cool but i don't want to do a bunch of calculations and whatnot. i have no idea why i chose this again.
    psychology (again)- this was my original second choice, i decided to go back because my dad originally talked me out of it and that was a poor decision on my part. I shouldn't have let him convince me what to do with my life. recently i did poorly on a test, i think thats what has me wanting to change majors. Also i was really close to a major in psych, so i just decided to take a couple classes and get my associates.

    i'm graduating with an A.A. in psychology at the end of this semester and transferring to a 4 year university. This has me thinking about "do i really want to stick with psych..."
     
  6. keeler

    keeler New Member

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    the big difference in BPD and bipolar i saw was that bipolar episodes last for weeks, whereas BPD episodes can last only hours or days.
     
  7. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Well, the pattern that I see in your choices is that you want to fix things. It doesn't seem to matter whether the things are machines or people. Maybe you should become an electrician; they get paid well, there's not a lot of math, the training is hands-on, and there's no germs.

    If you're going to pursue a 4-year degree, then something I said earlier comes into play; you may in fact have BPD, but none of the problems you listed with your majors are the sort of thing you can figure out in a day or two. I think you just don't know what you want to do with your life. Consider the suggestion I made in the previous paragraph.
     
  8. keeler

    keeler New Member

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    thats funny you suggest that, i do electrical work. lol. I really want to work indoors, that steered me away from the electrical work, i still do it for a little cash here and there.

    I feel like i need to do "soul searching". but that sounds really gay lol. I really want to take like a couple weeks, grab a tent, and just go somewhere. just me and the road.
    I think i really do want to do psychology, i just don't do well with failure or rejection. The subject interests me, more specifically the mental illness aspect and i think i would like to help other people who have had similar issues to my own.
    after reflecting on my past majors it made me refocus and remember why i'm in psych in the first place.
    i think i really need to work on not letting myself get discouraged, and learning to accept that its ok to fail a test sometimes.
    thanks for the chat deus, your responses helped guide my thinking and refocus on whats important.
    ps. i hate your AV lol.
     
  9. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    If you stick in psych make sure you ACCEPT that it WILL take at LEAST a master's degree for it be anything worthwhile.

    If you aren't sure about staying in school for that length of time, I'd highly suggest looking at other routes.
     

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