boyfriend was a man whore

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JemmaX, Apr 10, 2007.

  1. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    last night I was reading Falconers thread about girls who have been around the block, then I went to bed and started thinking about my boyfriend. He has spent a lot of his adult life single or in casual relationships or even with the occasional fuck buddy. he was in the navy and from comments hes made i believe he has had his fair share of paid sex. We dont talk about the past too much which is fine by me, i dont know his 'number' nor do i want to know it, but I would guess he has broken triple digits.

    I think falconer had a point when he said he didnt want to have a lot of meaningless sex because he didnt want to be number whatever for his future wife. I really like that idea, and I feel like im getting to that point in our relationship where we may have marriage or something LT at least. I am bugged that my boyfriend hasnt been more discriminate in the past. But at the same time, I dont feel like I have a right to be bugged about something that was before me and has nothing to do with me. he is honest and committed now and thats what matters, right?

    Well I cant shake this feeling, being irked at him for something he cant change. Its unfair I know, but its unfair that I feel a little less special because im number ---

    For the most part this has not annoyed me before, the past is the past, and anyone who spends too much time living it cannot possibly be enjoying the present. But i got this out, then maybe it will help me get over it and move on.

    opinions?
     
  2. Not a big deal, you don't have a solid number, you don't want one either. Just enjoy having him around and the great things he does for you. Simple as that.
     
  3. low20

    low20 Member

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    understandable feeling that you have, however, from what you described you have a good relationship with him and it would seem to me that he doesnt thinik of you that way at all...lots of people regret their past, lots of people dont, some just made some mistakes and some didnt give a dam about anything until they grew up....if your happy with the relationship that you have then you should completley erase it from your mind that there were ever any other girls b/c if you start thinking about it, you will continue to do so and it will ruin your relationship....dont make him feel guilty about it...its another thing if he flaunts it and is proud of it...then id be worried.

    good luck, its not easy to get those thoughts out of your head sometimes...
     
  4. symptic

    symptic I run companies

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    If he's been with so many women and he chooses to stay with you, that means something.
     
  5. Mallix

    Mallix New Member

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    Numbers are so meaningless. The only number that counts is whatever number YOU are.

    Being with a lot of people doesn't make you a stud, or a slut. AS long as you're disease free, responsible, and not hurting anyone else, all that matters is who you are currently with.

    Leave the past in the past.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You're not bothered by triple digits?

    Someone's past is indicative of their personality type. You are with a guy who had no problem sleeping with women into the "triple digits." You will likely come to one of two conclusions: 1) omg, my man is so hot! All these other chicks wanted him... well... I can't blame them... he is pretty desireable. Or 2) to my man, sex is nothing special. It's probably like a greeting, or shaking hands; it doesn't matter how many people you do it with because it's not special. From this you will realize that sex with you is nothing special either, statistically speaking.

    People will argue "oh, but people can learn from their past and change!" That may be true, but if you have one or two one night stands and realize that that is not for you, you stop. You don't continue having them into the triple digits.

    Statistically speaking, you are nothing special to him. Do you really think you're better than all 100 of the other women he's been with? I mean, I'm sure you're awesome and he tells you how good you are, but statistically speaking, do you really think that's the case?

    You are correct: the past is the past. But it is also indicative of his type of character and values. You are with someone who thought nothing of sleeping with women into the triple digits. To some people that might not mean anything. To others, it might be a deal breaker. I know for a fact I could not have a LTR with a girl who had been with 100 guys.

    I guarantee you almost every other reply you get will disagree with me.

    edit - If you have been with a lot of guys you have no room to be a hypocrite. Not directed at you, just at anyone reading this thread.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2007
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Not really. It could just mean that he is to a point in his life where he wants to settle down. It doesn't mean there's anything special about JemmaX. He could have just met her at the "thinking about a LTR" point in his life. Are you telling me none of the other 100 women he's been with were worthy of a LTR, but magically JemmaX is? No. This is a case of her BF's changing mindset and not of her being special.
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    And realize that his cock was in 100 vaginas before it was in yours. Sure makes sex feel special and intimate, doesn't it?
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2007
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    But you have to ignore my insecurities and condescension and decide what makes YOU happy and what YOU are happy with. Everyone is allowed to have their own value and belief system (and I guess it's that value and belief system that governs people's actions... including their PAST actions... which is why someone's past gives you a perfectly clear look into what kind of person they are).

    But it's up to you to decide. What is a big deal for me may not be for you, and vice versa.
     
  10. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    .
     
  11. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    my girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!!

    in a row?
     
  12. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Look at it this way, after some 100 odd girls, he chose you. I don't really care what Falconer has to say, that is something special. Ask your BF, he will tell you that you are special to him, will he not? Do you trust your BF or some guy on the interweb? And lookl at the plus side, with sex the more practice you have at it the better you get. He is probably pretty good in bed. He is with just you in bed. He can, but chooses not to, get other girls in bed.

    I know it is hard to overlook someones past, but you really should. It who they were, not who they are.
     
  13. Mallix

    Mallix New Member

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    Wow Falconer, what wonderful information you provide. I hope you're a virgin until you get married. I hope you never even date anyone except the person you marry. Lord knows that if you've been with anyone else in the past the future is bound to repeat itself and you will find everyone else useless too.

    If I remember the OP, it stated military... If he was stationed overseas chances are good he's paid for sex. Is that a bad thing? Maybe... is it the end of the world? Most definitely not.

    Some people get lucky and find their soul mate early in life, others don't bother to look. If two people are made for each other, what difference does it make who, what, when, where, or why anything in their past happened?

    Everyone has a right to theor own opinions, but mine is that the "number" is just a number and doesn't mean shit!
     
  14. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    You're number xxx... so what. You're number xxx that he's still with, that's what counts. He found something in you he didn't find in the others.
     
  15. k0in b4hd

    k0in b4hd New Member

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    better watch out he might stop having sex with you
     
  16. You are such a negative over analytical person sometimes, you sound just like me. I'm trying to be positive here, be glad he's around simple as that.
     
  17. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Everyone should think about this statement before you post anything about him being negative about this. This is a perfect statement for her to think about! She will thknk about that every time she has sex with him now and it's going to kill the mood!
     
  18. mandarin orange

    mandarin orange OT Supporter

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    The past is the past.. but i would never date a girl that's been with a lot of guys. I've been with a few girls, but a girl that's been with guys in the tripple digits?!?! heck no. I'd always picture that she's had over 100 dicks inside of her. That's something I couldn't stand. Cause she obviously doesn't value herself enough or think sex is that 'important'.. so she just gives it away. But yeah.. when dating a girl.. that's one of the first things I'm curious about. The more guys a girl has slept with, the less into her I am. "slut" comes to mind automatically.
     
  19. Falconer's fault not mine. :rofl:
     
  20. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    first of all there's a difference between guys and girls.

    Now Falconer, this part is just for you. This isn't meant to be a flame, this is meant to help you. You are lame. You will not learn to pickup while you still have these lame, square views of sexuality. I used to have them, too. But until you fix them, you are not going to be able to pick up girls. I know you're into the whole pua thing, at least on a reading-level basis. Find TD's old post off ASF about his exchange wiht toecutter, and toecutter's response, about reading My Secret Garden, and how TD's old lame view of sexuality and belief that girls shouldn't have much sex, and girls shouldn't be sexual, etc. and all his other highly conservative views on sexuality and his own identity were just reflections of DEEP insecurities within him and deeply affected his abilities to get girls. Until you do that, and examine deep down inside of you whether you truly have all these ideas about women, or if they are simply reactions to your unconscious understanding that you, as you are now, will NEVER get hot girls who are able to have lots of sex, or if you simply think there's something wrong with lots of sex because YOU AREN'T HAVING IT... then I suggest you refrain from giving the piss poor advice that you have been giving.
     
  21. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Falconer, I've disagreed with your perspective that people are static beings that never change and that pattern of behavior that characterizes a person at one point in their life (which may be normal statistically speaking) will characterize them for the rest of their life. I feel you doing that here, but I also have to admit that triple digits (if it is that high) is quite high and I wonder how long Jemma has been with this guy and when the "man whoring" ended.

    My other question would be regarding his life style. I've never served in the military, but I've known guys who have and they've told stories about being statione in various locations around the world and many of them talked about sleeping with women in different spots where they were stationed. I'm wondering how old the guy was when he was hiring prostitutes and how normal that is for guys in the navy who might not have much opportunity for a long-term relationship.

    Any Vag veterans? (I mean Vag regulars who have served in the military, not mimbos)


    Falconer, you get way too bogged down in statistics. Statistically speaking the only ones of us humans who are in any way exceptional are those who qualify for "World's Tallest Man" or "World's Longest Fingernails." If you are interested in love, statistics doesn't play a role. It is not science, despite everyone talking about "chemistry". But if you want to bring up statistics, look at it this way. If he is settling down, there are still hundreds of other women he might alternatively be settling down with now, yet he's with Jemma.
     
  22. razi

    razi New Member

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    the only number you should be worried about is being #1. if he's not putting you there every day, then you've got a problem.
     
  23. xinster

    xinster New Member

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    good job falconer :big grin:

    Hey doesn't being experience make him a better lover?
     
  24. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    just throwing this out there.. I think you may be playing the numbers in your head up a bit.

    For a man to hit triple digits is a feat. thats like a decade of dedication for your average guy. I know someone is gonna say, yeah, i slept with 3 girls last week, and yeah, that will happen too, but if you are averaging anywhere near 10 girls a year out of college you have a pretty intense level of dedication to the hunt or must be stunningly attractive and effortlessly good with women, along with a complete inability to maintain any sort of relationship.

    I have no idea how paid sex changes this and honestly don't want to think about it :ugh:
     
  25. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    There is alot of good advice for him in there.
     

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