SRS Boring Weekends are starting to get to me v.rant

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nost, Jan 26, 2008.

  1. nost

    nost New Member

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    im 19 years old, single and im in my 2nd year of college. i live in a house with two other guys and i have a pretty normal life.. the problem is, i dont get out much on weekends and its really depressing me. when i get the chance i love going out to bars/clubs etc. but most of my friends ether live in other cities cos of school, or go home on weekends. Im good friends with my one room mate but he goes home a lot on weekends and our room mate never seems to include us in any goings out anymore.

    I really want to get out there and have fun, but without many ppl to do so with...i usally spend my friday and saterday nights either on the couch or infront of my computer. plus im not the kind of guy who can go out to a bar or club by themself and have a good time...so yeah...

    not to mention listening to everyone else talk about how good their nights were makes it 10 times worse...

    its a long shot...but anyone have any advice to help me outa this situation?
     
  2. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    first, stop comparing other people's lives to yours.

    second, go out by yourself. and force yourself to meet people. once you get past the "fear factor" of talking to people you dont know, meeting people in itself is as fun as having people to chill with.
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :werd:
    This is one of the best ways to become depressed. Why? Because you're looking at their life and seeing that these things are not in your life. Focusing on what you don't have is never a good idea.

    Try this, change your focus on what you do have in your life right now. Somethign that helps me is to make a gratitude list. That's a list of all the things that I'm grateful for....even if I'm whining and thinking I don't have anything, there's always something. It sounds kinda goofy but this can really help one get out of the dumps.

    Also, exercise more. You can do that without anyone. Most Unis have free gyms so go there and be friendly.

    Look around in your classes and sit by people that seem to be like you...then talk to them. Making friends isn't hard in college and these friends may want to do things on the weekend....oh yeah, if you want to do something, ask them. Don't just sit around waiting for them to bless you with an invitation.

    If you like sports, go our for intramural sports. These are often very casual and fun. You can also join groups....most majors have a group specific to that major. These are people that are studying the same things as you....so you have something in common to help build a friendship.

    Finally, go through rush and join a Frat. I went to a commuter college and I didn't think there was anything socially going on at that school....once I joined a frat, that all changed and I started going out....a lot.

    Relax and have fun man. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and try to be friendly. You might be surprised at the results.
     
  4. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i used to get the most pussy when i went out by myself. when you dont have anyone to talk to, it forces you to talk to chicks! Kuz if im at a bar, im not going to talk to strange dudes!
     
  5. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    hahaha, you just described the life i have been living for the last 7-8 years. Get used to it and welcome to the club.
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    If you're not ill, or incapacitated for some other reason, then this will be easy advice to give.

    Great, you have something you like to do.

    Alright, so you'd be alone most of the time when going out. That's awesome! You know why? The best times are had going places alone and interacting with people you'd never meet if you were with a group. I find when I'm alone people talk to me far more often too, and if they don't I introduce myself into groups.

    Well there goes my idea. Quite sad really. So what type of guy does one have to be to go by themselves? What is so different about you that this option isn't available?

    As usual, Mystery Method. You'll have to change, and learn to go out alone and meet people. Download the E-book. Study it like a bible.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2008
  7. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Fact.
     
  8. nost

    nost New Member

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    I dont feel I have the confidence to go out alone and start approaching random people without having a few friends or group of ppl to fall back on incase i get shot down or such
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You need the Mystery Method. Download the E-book, and get to work. It'll change your life if you use it.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I always felt paranoid going to the bar by myself.

    I always feel like that going to a bar by yourself means people are going to look at you and think of you as some sort of "loser" for going by yourself. As a result I tend not to go to the bar unless I have someone to go with.

    Do you have any suggestions on how to approach going to a bar by yourself without feeling paranoid about being there by yourself?
     
  11. willdawg69

    willdawg69 Guest

    Really who cares what other people might say? Does your entire social life depend on the opinion of some stranger in a bar you will never see again??
    I always use your fear as my motivation. I see that if I am at a bar talking to no one then I am a loser but on the other hand if I am at a bar talking to some hot chicks I just met than I am a superstar. Don't base your night by how the interaction go's just have goals of having a good time and meeting some new people. You will meet some really cool people when your out by yourself and you will see you are not the only person there alone.
     
  12. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I typically don't give a shit what people think about me doing things alone. Like, I go to the movies alone once in a while and I really don't think nothing of it, even though I know there is a stigma about doing that. I go out to eat alone once in a while and I don't really think nothing of that either.

    But something about going to a bar alone really makes me paranoid for some reason.
     
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    It's true, a lot of people with courage go alone. A lot of us "normal" folks get blown off by friends who flaked, or plans fell thru.

    I don't make a habit of going out alone, because it does make me uncomfortable, but it doesn't "stop" me.
     
  14. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    one of the things I do is make plans. if there's something I'm interested in doing, I'll make plans to do it and invite people I'd like to go with. however, if they can't go or flake, i still make it a point to follow through with my plans even if i'll be alone.

    when you have plans and something you want to do, it makes being alone easier since you're mind is on what you're doing rather than on how you're alone. you'll still get those feelings of "oh i wish someone was here with me" especially when there's a great experience you want to share. then again, you often meet people there too, so it all turns out fine in the end. eventually, those feelings go away and it's not a big deal being alone. you end up making random temporary (possibly permanent) friends and have a great time. you'll have a story to tell those that couldn't make it too.

    do things you like even if you're alone and eventually you'll become more comfortable with it so that you can just go out by yourself with no plans in mind. just a random adventure and possible good story to tell.

    then again, once you start having fun on your own, you'll realize that you're not really alone. either you'll be making more friends that will go out with you, your old friends will go out with you more (especially once they hear how much fun you've been having without them), or you'll just befriend people there.

    sometimes you'll have more fun going out on your own that you will with your friends.
     
  15. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Good post.
     
  16. Tzuma

    Tzuma New Member

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    Who's this 'everyone else'? Are they people who go to school with you/locally? If so, they are your answer - your 'window' to get out again.

    Truth be told, a lot of people have issues going out by themselves. I wont go to the movies, go out to eat, or go to bars/clubs by myself. It has nothing to do with confidence or lackthereof, I simply dont find it as rewarding. However, I dont get myself into a feeling of do or die either, wheras not going out drives me nuts. If I have a bad weekend where I start to feel "lonely" (ala sans large gatherings of people - I enjoy big meets) I simply make sure I make plans for the next weekend. People are busy.

    However, it sounds like you know people that are going out and having a good time. Instead of getting bummed out by their stories, take an interest in them. It shouldnt take long to get yourself an invite for their next outing. Id venture to say most have the same stigma you do, and having another person that doesnt go home on weekends and likes to go out never hurts.

    You're not the only person at your school that is sitting in the dorm on Saturday nights. If youre the only one in your pool of friends, consider meeting more people during classes and letting the numbers work for you, instead of against.
     

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