FRK Bondage is the new oral sex

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Tornado6, Apr 12, 2005.

  1. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    No point in making Cliffs for this. I highlighted the parts I found most interesting. I <3 Dan Savage.



    BLESSED BE THE TIES THAT BIND
    by Dan Savage

    Here's my wah-wah: I'm 20, gay, and my boyfriend of eight months is into tying me up. I work out a lot and I have pretty decent muscles, and something about tying me up makes him extra horny. I'm wondering if this gonna warp me somehow? Why is it so much fun? My main problem is that when my boyfriend has me tied up, I can't touch him! And what about pictures? He takes lots. What if they show up online when I'm running for president?
    Fit To Be Tied


    First, the photo issue: If you want to be a bondage-porn mogul like, say, Van Darkholme (www.vanhotman.com), when you grow up, or a bondage porn model for, say, www.capturedguys.com, those pics will help, not hurt, your future job prospects. But on the off chance that you do run for president--assuming, for the sake of argument, that the American Taliban hasn't finished turning this country into a morally and fiscally bankrupt theocracy by the time you're old enough--those bondage pics could hurt.

    Thankfully, FTBT, there are tons of career options in addition to bondage-porn model and president of the United States. You could be a lawyer or a fireman or an advice columnist when you grow up. In our post-Paris Hilton universe, a few bondage pics floating around on the web are unlikely to hurt your job prospects as an out gay man. Bondage is the new oral sex--it just isn't that kinky anymore.

    What makes bondage fun? The very "problem" you mention--the frustration of not being able to touch the other person, the helplessness, the loss of control. For most bondage freaks--guys like your boyfriend--there's a visual aspect to bondage. It's an intense form of objectification: When he ties you up, he has complete control over you. He can look at your hot body just as long as he likes and you can't cover up or leave or determine what happens next. For as long as he keeps you tied up, you're an object, his possession.

    "Objectification" is a word that's usually tossed around in a negative context; mostly we hear it when someone is complaining about the objectification of women. But being treated like an object--when you want to be to be treated like an object--can be intensely sexy. Hell, we all long to be objectified. Why do you work out so much, FTBT? So that people will admire your body, yes? And you're not only interested in being admired by people you know, right? You want to be admired by strangers on the street, other guys at the gym, people on the bus. To strangers--people who know nothing of your beautiful mind--you're only an object.

    Enjoy it while it lasts, FTBT, because one day no one is going to objectify you anymore, tied up or walking around, and you're going to miss it.



    My girlfriend, 22 and Christian, likes to be tied up. She's into anime-style Japanese bondage porn and she wants me to do that incredibly complicated rope bondage. I've looked at some pictures--she has thousands of them that she's been downloading and saving on her computer since she was a teenager--but I can't make it happen. I'm the first boy she's ever told about her fetish and I don't want to disappoint her. Where does a nice boy like me go to learn how to truss up a nice girl like her in the style of Japanese bondage porn?
    Blessed Be The Ties That Bind

    "Rope bondage is a great way to create a sensual connection with your partner," says Monk, the brains behind www.twistedmonk.com, which sells high-quality, multi-colored hemp rope to bondage enthusiasts. "It does, however, take time and practice."

    The first thing Monk wants you and your girlfriend to bear in mind is that a lot of the bondage in Japanese anime isn't practical--not even the bondage shown in actual photos of actual tied-up people. "They intricately tie a woman up," says Monk, "hoist her in the air for the few minutes it takes to snap the photo, and then immediately bring her down and out of the rope."

    Your first assignment from Monk isn't a bondage session but a bondage conversation. "Ask your girlfriend what about being tied up turns her crank," says Monk. "Is it the act of being restrained? The sense of helplessness? Or is she getting high from the endorphins produced by stressful rope?" Once you have a better idea what she's after, "get your hands on some practical instruction. Midori's The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage is always a great place to start. Also, if you live in the Pacific Northwest, check out the monthly bondage classes taught by Max at bondagelessons.com."

    And get some decent rope! "That coil from Home Depot is just not going to cut it," says Monk. "It won't hold knots as well, it will burn her skin if it's used incorrectly, and it's generally harder to work with than Whitney Houston at an NA meeting. Hemp rope, on the other hand, when properly treated, holds knots well and is strong yet soft. Hemp rope is the traditional rope used in Asian bondage and most rope sluts will agree that it feels the best against exposed skin."

    Hey, did I mention that Monk sells hemp rope? He does: www.twistedmonk.com.

    Finally, Monk suggests you set aside some time for low-stakes practice sessions. "Try some stuff out when you're not emotionally invested in the outcome of the bondage," said Monk. "Start small, experiment, have her give you feedback as to how it feels… Where does it hurt? Is this a good thing or a bad thing for her? Practice will allow you to feel more confident doing this in the heat of actual play."







    I blame the internet. If bondage isn't all that kinky anymore, it's because it is so entirely accessible now. I saw how many of you cited the internet as a major source of your freaky. Serious kinks used to be so much more difficult to deal with. You'd actually have to talk to someone to find out if the fact that you liked sucking your cum out of your girlfriend's ass with a straw was "normal" or not. Now you just Google it. If someone else has done it and taken pictures, it must be at least partly OK, right?



     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2005
  2. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    unfortunately thats partly correct. But that doesn't mean that we all have to stop doing what we're doing just because it really isn't kinky in the public eye anymore. its still kinky, just not to us leather people... i assure you, find some vanilla's and tell them that you like to suck your cum our of your gf's (or bf's) ass with a straw and they'll probably either slap you or run away screaming.
     
  3. Lad

    Lad Guest

    :eek3: :run:
     
  4. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Wow! a straw, huh? Way to go, BrokenHalo!
     
  5. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    No kidding, that's a fucking awesome idea.
    Lucky I got a lot of straws laying around :drool:
     
  6. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    :uh: Felch.
     
  7. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    yeah, give tornado the credit on that one, it was in the first post at the bottom...

    i never said i actually did that :eek3: but thanks for the props anyway :mamoru:
     
  8. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    oops. my bad. I was in a hurry and just read the highlighted parts :hsugh:
     
  9. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    i might just try it though... depending on how this new stuff i bought him that he's supposed to drink works :eek4:
     
  10. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    Whoops, my bad aswell...

    :bowdown: @ Tornado :bigthumb:
     
  11. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    God..exactly. :drool: Giving up the control, turning over not only your body but your will and your humility to someone..and experiencing the kind of trust action like that requires is such an amazing feeling.
     
  12. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    :slap: :run:

    is kinda what it would look like :mamoru:
     
  13. gorilla

    gorilla New Member

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    I think for people involved in the 'internet community' bondage has become more main stream. But mention it amongst a group of people who don't use there computers very often at all....and see what happens ;)

    My wife has let slip a few of her tied pleasures to her coworkers. The reactions she described were extremely comical :big grin:

    But it does feel good to know your not alone in the freak....well...it isn't really that freaky anymore now is it? :)
     
  14. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    its like i said... it may not seem as freaky to those of us who do it, but mention it to vanillas and you'll get a much different reaction
     
  15. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    :mamoru: So what's this say about my ex who hated oral sex?
     
  16. Acesn8s

    Acesn8s The Deadman's Hand

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    Blame the internet for what?

    I don;t know about a lot of other people but I'm not turned on by bondage because it's kinky. I'm turned on by bondage because that's the way I'm wired. :dunno:
     
  17. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    It may not be considered "Freaky" anymore...but that doesnt mean its any less fun. It just requires a bit more creativity, thats all. Hell, a lot of the stuff talk about in here isnt really "freaky" anymore. Anal sex? Yawn..Spankings? Thats right up there with bondage, in my opinion. But its still really fun and with some manipulation can feel as outstandingly creative and freaky as if you'd just thought of the idea yourself today.
     
  18. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    :werd: :werd: :werd: :werd:
     
  19. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    "Blame" figuratively. Eeeesh.
     
  20. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    ;)
     
  21. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    I Finger The Internet!
     
  22. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    If what i did was only fun because it was Freaky and deviant then I'd just be another dumbassed antiestablishment Cunt hippie that thinks they have to do EVERYTHING against the grain.

    Bondage is fun because it feels good, because it makes me helpless and leaves me to the whims of my Master. Who gives a fuck if it's popular or not?
     
  23. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    Now thats just dirty.. :naughty:
     
  24. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    Wow, I don't know what's triggering the hostility in this thread?
     
  25. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    i wasn't being hostile It just seems like that last "I blame the internet. If bondage isn't all that kinky anymore, it's because it is so entirely accessible now" seemed like it SHOULDN"T be accesable...
     

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