SRS Body Dysmorphia insanity

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Funklordtoejam, Jan 29, 2008.

  1. Funklordtoejam

    Funklordtoejam New Member

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    K, first, before: [​IMG]

    and After:
    [​IMG]

    So I've always been bigger than other girls (and I still pretty much am at 185 lbs/size 14) but I'm smaller than I used to be (230 lbs).

    Problem is, I still feel HUGE. Whale-esque. I joke about it, and I know I say too many things in the self-deprecating humor department, but I can't help it. I don't think I can ever feel pretty or anything. I know it's stupid and there's likely a thousand threads that are just like this but hey, y'know, whatev. I'm on Effexor xr to stave off depression.

    I feel like a failure because I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 22. I've had plenty of sex, but I just figured out that guys were simply using me and I felt like crap after that too. My best friend broke up with her bf and nigh instantaneously she finds another man. Me, I can't even find one. What the hell. I know full well that people are going to say things "well be confident!" but that's bullshit. I'm going to be true to myself, which is far from confident. :hs:

    Besides all this body image shenaniganry I'm pretty awesome. I'm just going to post this and see what everyone has to say.

    You're also welcome to boost my ego.
     
  2. Shiva Chaos

    Shiva Chaos i see boobies!

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    big improvement!
     
  3. Shiva Chaos

    Shiva Chaos i see boobies!

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    wait how did i get in the asylum. i am not good with rss feed.
     
  4. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    looking better. the only way you could improve at all is by running 30-60 minutes a day, 4-5 days /week; eating no high fructose corn syrup and during those runs, make sure that at least 2 of those sessions a week are HIIT- High intensity interval training.


    You do look A LOT better than before; healthy and permanent weight loss requires lifestyle changes. including increased excercise and improved diet- with more fruits/veggies/lean proteins/complex carbs and less simple sugars/sodas/high fructose corn syrup.


    If you keep at it you will keep moving up the 1-10 scale til you hit 11!!!!
     
  5. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    I, personally, think you're a cutie ^_^. Stop tripping and live life.. Don't go finding love, let it find you.
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Big difference, good work. Attractive.

    Progress, not perfection. That's the way life works. If you judge yourself by the yardstick of others, you'll eternally fall short. If you're 99.9999 percent perfect, and I come a long and say "Yeah but that .000001% really is pathetic" -- chances are you'll focus on that negative comment.

    This isn't uncommon, but a sign of both culture, peer opinions and sometimes family problems.

    It's easier to disarm people's expectations. If you already state what you consider the obvious, even when joking, people aren't inclined to say "Yeah no shit, I agree." -- it's a defense. You protect yourself that way, but the side-effect is each time you say those things about yourself (even when joking) you feel less. Perhaps not significantly, but non the less, less.

    A thousand other threads by a thousand other individuals who aren't you. You and your specific situation require specific attention. It's that simple. You have needs, concerns and things to say, so I'm listening.

    I'm sure intellectually you know that not having a boyfriend doesn't inherently make you a failure. Though I can understand why you feel that way. Obviously being used should make you feel bad, though it's not like you intentionally went out of your way to be abused or used. You didn't know, so therefore it's a mistake. How can you ever get anything right if you never got it wrong? It's ok to be imperfect, because the fact is, perfection is found in the imperfect.

    I agree, you should be yourself. And who you are is flawed, imperfect, overweight, honest, afraid, and searching for solutions. This isn't my opinion, this is yours. It's true, it's real. Accept the truth, and it'll set you free. You may be all those things in reality, but you're certainly not a failure unless you create an arbitrary set of rules or opinions to live by that dictate whether you've passed or failed. The fact is, you're doing the best you can with what you presently know and have for information. And what you lack in information you're looking for by asking other people. How is that failure? You'd have to be a fool to call someone like yourself a failure.

    You don't need an ego boost, in-fact a false sense of inflated ego only serves to create a facade. I'll tell you the plain obvious truth. No one can call you a failure in respect to what you've said here. If you continue to belittle yourself you will however be betraying yourself. Strength, confidence, and health begin with character. You do yourself a disservice when you minimize or belittle yourself. It's disrespectful to yourself. So until now you've made the mistake of doing that -- ok, fair enough, mistakes happen, but now that you're fully and consciously aware that you'd be disrespecting yourself if you did it in the future, I would expect you to knock it the fuck off.

    Next, your body image issue isn't a disease or even a disorder. It's a psychological belief. You've been bombarded by the expectations of others for so long, in magazines, by your friends, perhaps even family, that you believe you have to live up to some arbitrary ideal of appearance in order for people to like or love you. No wonder you're depressed. Now, are you to blame for this? No of course not. You didn't know, but now you do and it's your responsibility to right what others have done wrong to you. You tell the world who you are, not the other way around.

    You're afraid that people won't love or like you because of how you look, but the reason you don't have a boyfriend isn't because men don't find you attractive -- because quite frankly you are -- it's because you're so god damn afraid of not being loved or liked, that you create that very world. What you fear, you create. You reject others before they can reject you. You protect yourself by lowering everyones expectations of you, including your own.

    Let's put it this way. If you lost all the weight tomorrow and looked beautiful, you'd still have difficulty until you could find away to like yourself based on your own rules, not the worlds. Everything inside you knows I'm right. If what I've said rings true, continue with counseling. The psychiatric medication treatment won't be ongoing for long if you get counseling.
     
  7. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    That's not body dysmorphia really. That happens when you are skinny and still think you are fat. You are still overweight so being upset with how you look is realistic. Your post complained about how you look but I didn't see anything about you doing anything to change that. Being in shape isn't about luck, it takes work. It's great that you lost what you did but I'm sure if you get to a healthy weight then you'll feel much better about yourself. The good thing for you is that this type of confidence problem is a lot easier to fix than others. You lose the weight and then you'll be happy with how you look. It's a win win.
     
  8. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    idk but if she lost all that weight overnight, im pretty sure she would feel GREAT about herself.
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You're right she would. It would be a temporary state of euphoria. It's not her body that is the problem. It's her beliefs about measuring up. She gave quite a few clues. First was she self deprecates to protect herself, second she was used sexually but never emotionally involved in a relationship with them, third she compares herself against her peers (Her friend), and last feeling like a failure for not living up to arbitrary expectations (Having a real boyfriend by age 22).

    All of these indicate a skewed sense of self, independent of external situations. She could be attractive -- which she is -- and still feel emotionally bankrupt.
     
  10. Funklordtoejam

    Funklordtoejam New Member

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    If I lost all that weight overnight I would be concerned that I had some sort of super AIDS or hyper-cancer-of-doom.
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Turboaids. :o
     
  12. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    hahah

    Hey losing weight doesnt happen like that anyway.

    you gotta run 30-60 minutes a day right now.

    eat no simple sugars, eat no high fructose corn syrup

    you will get there, remember the harder you MAKE YOURSELF run, the more benefit you get out of it.

    if you dont run that aint going to go anywhere. and if you dont push yuorself it wont go anywhere. walking to lose weight is a myth.
     
  13. Hellcat

    Hellcat New Member

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    i wish someone would tell that to all those crazy middle aged ladies that get in my way doing their ridiculous looking walks where they swing their arms.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    lol the trainers at my gym dont know shit about what they are doing. if you want to truly get in good shape, you need to get the heartbeat up and be sweating. running is 11tybilliontimes > walking


    walking > nothing . . . which is what those women would be doing otherwise.

    pushing yourself is the only way to make yourself better. no one else can do it.

    run a 8 min mile one day, realize that its too slow, cut it down to 7, then feel great when you start getting into the 6's . . .kuz once you can run 3 6:xx minute miles @ once (no breaks) you start feeling like you can accomplish anything.... or at least are accomplishing something
     
  15. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    I run 3 miles every morning before work.. I aim for the 6:45 mark.. I've been hitting it for the past 8 months :x:
     
  16. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    High Intensity Interval Training is better for cardiovascular health and weight loss. as a bonus it is also shorter than traditional cardio.
     
  17. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Yeah, HIIT is most certainly the way to go. It's hard with the rapid changes, but I've done very well on it. I make progress fast.

    Traditional pace training is great for building endurance. I do fine with traditional, but HIIT really kicks my ass, but the nice part is it's so short in comparison. 15-20 minutes of HIIT makes a huge difference verse 30-45 minutes of traditional.

    HIIT: You change paces rapidly. Example: Warm up 3-5 mins slow to moderate pace. Then you run one minute at a rapid rate, such as 75-90% of your maxium heart rate. Then a minute later you walk for a minute, then you run at a fast pace, then you jog easily for a minute. If you did an interval training routine like this for 15-20 mins you'd burn far more calories during the routine and after the routine than traditional.

    Traditional Training: Example: Warm up 5 mins, then run at say a 6-8 mile pace the entire 30 mins.
     
  18. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    it's definitely an ass kicker, especially when you combine it with an incline (hills, stairs), but it's definitely worth it. i use traditional cardio (jogging, hiking) more as a relaxation method than I do for health reasons.

    EDIT:
    to the threadstarter, if you start doing HIIT, start off slowly and build your way up to more/longer intervals. you can do a Tues/Thurs split and start off with 2 short intervals the first week, then 3 the following week, then either increase the intervals or do more the following week, etc. visit the F&N forum for more specific advice on how to lose weight if that is still a goal of yours.
     
  19. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    if i watch my diet (chicken and rice and some bread only) and do HIIT M-Thurs I managed to drop from 210- 170 in 8 weeks. (man weight) but I also lifted for about 40 minutes after a 20-30 minute run.
     
  20. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    Ex-fat kid signing in to say:
    50 lbs is quite the accomplishment.
    your "after" picture shows other improvements as well. your hair is neater, your clothes are nicer, and your makeup is better. you've clearly begun taking some pride in yourself, and that is a very good thing.
     
  21. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    You dont need a man to make you happy. IDK what a man will do for you if you aren't happy with yourself. I know a gf wouldnt make me feel better if I didn't feel self-actualized.
     
  22. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Yea aside from the size. your overall style has drastically improved. did you pic your worst pic then find your best?! lol
     
  23. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    you look a lot better...nice work...
     
  24. Funklordtoejam

    Funklordtoejam New Member

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    You'd be amazed how much difference an eyebrow waxing makes.

    I'm going to start on that HIIT, but small intervals at first. I worry that if I go crazy too quickly I'll either injure myself or have charlie horses or something.
     
  25. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You would injure yourself. Make sure to stretch thoroughly after you've worked out. Make sure you warm up doing the activity you'll be performing by starting off slowly to moderately. Once warmed up you can boost up fast.

    When the routine is complete cool down by stretching every muscle group used during the exercise for at least 20-30 seconds.
     

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