SRS /blogpost ... About my relationship

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Fearan, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. Fearan

    Fearan Guest

    It's been 4.5 years now, with my first gf. We live together, are engaged. Pretty knee deep in this. :hs: However, I just don't know where the love is/went.

    I'm pretty sure I couldn't find anyone better to live with, as I'm smart enough to realize the grass is generally not greener on the other side. However,

    1. Her sex drive has always been lower than mine... and that's been killing me inside lately. I lived with it, hoped it would improve, and never really has. She'll put out a few times a week generally, but she doesn't want me physically as much as I would like. I don't think it's quite enough that she enjoys sex somewhat, it'd be great if she wanted for other reasons than just to please me.

    2. Lack of direction in life... she has no idea what she wants to do, no hobbies, very little friends (except for mine...) yet doesn't try to change this.

    3. Lack of drive, she finished school and has a shitty job the backstore of home depot... And no motivation to go find something she loves.

    4. And that brings me to my 2nd last bitching point, total lack of passion for anything. Completely apathetic. This is actually a huge turnoff for me.

    5. If she wants to be a housewife, I'd have no problem with that, however... she is horrible with kids, can't cook, and is fairly lazy around the apartment. So much so that I end up doing most of the work, and it's pissing me off... she says she'd do things, but 2 weeks later they aren't done, so I just do them. She cleans up like once a month and uses that as an excuse not to clean the rest of the time... ugh. Minor thing, but it's getting on my nerves.

    We just 6 months in Europe (not in the same country) this year, and I was hoping things would be better when we came back... but they really aren't. :(

    I'm sure part of the problem is my attitude too... I used to care and try really hard to bring some passion to her life, but recently I said fuck it. If you don't want to deal with your issues, I won't force it.

    I don't know why I posted this, but it felt good. Thanks OT. :wavey:

    /blog
    /wallof.txt

    did i mention she's letting herself go? it's not bad yet... but I have OT-high standards.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its very difficult to change a person, you made the wrong choice to be with her. You chose to be with a person with bad qualities = equals = having to suffer from those bad personality qualities yourself. You wont change a person by simply going to Europe, because you're going back into the same situation once the vacation is over.

    Basically only you can determine if she's worth the effort to make her sit down and listen to you and that you want to see some changes, but ehm.. if it were you asking this question before you went into the relationship, you've could have receive an answer like ' a person should never want to force their partners to change ', but i myself think personally that flexibility is needed.

    I hope for you that she has the willingness to change, if not then your going to be unhappy forever, when that happens its time to understand your riding on the wrong bus, its unfortunatly better then to get rid of her, and take a bus that 'does' go where you want to be. :sad2: sorry to say that.
     
  3. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Sit down and talk to her about it. If she fails to change or to at least show improvement, then it might be time to find someone else.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    you've given this girl at least 3 years to change (I'm assuming you figured all this stuff out after a year). You don't really need to give her more time if you guys have talked about this in the past.

    If you HAVEN'T talked to her about this, you need to make up for lost time and do it now.

    But honestly, it sounds like you've reached the point where it is already over.
     
  5. Fearan

    Fearan Guest

    Yeah, most of those were issues after 1yr... :hsd:
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    so...did you talk to her about them? Did you make any attempt to work with her on said issues?

    I just have to wonder...why would you sit back and do nothing about these things for 3 years?
     
  7. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I hope you've talked to her before about this. If not, she is going to think everything that she does that bothers you has been just fine. If you haven't stated anything to her about problems in the relationship, she isn't going to recognize them.

    Sit and talk to her. If they are unresolvable, then this might be over.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    In for update.
     
  9. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    The sooner the talk the better. I had a sit down and talk with my SO about our sex life. Within a week things were back to normal and now she can't even remember why she was in a rut.
     
  10. RachTyrTaiya

    RachTyrTaiya New Member

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    I think you are gonna have to end it man. It is not gonna be easy, but I don't really see this going anywhere good.

    You sound fed-up and the things that are annoying you about her are things that are not gonna change just b/c you sit down and talk to her about them.
    Maybe she will change as she gets older . . . maybe she won't . . . you shouldn't sit around waiting and hoping for her to come around though.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2008

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