It's been 4.5 years now, with my first gf. We live together, are engaged. Pretty knee deep in this. However, I just don't know where the love is/went. I'm pretty sure I couldn't find anyone better to live with, as I'm smart enough to realize the grass is generally not greener on the other side. However, 1. Her sex drive has always been lower than mine... and that's been killing me inside lately. I lived with it, hoped it would improve, and never really has. She'll put out a few times a week generally, but she doesn't want me physically as much as I would like. I don't think it's quite enough that she enjoys sex somewhat, it'd be great if she wanted for other reasons than just to please me. 2. Lack of direction in life... she has no idea what she wants to do, no hobbies, very little friends (except for mine...) yet doesn't try to change this. 3. Lack of drive, she finished school and has a shitty job the backstore of home depot... And no motivation to go find something she loves. 4. And that brings me to my 2nd last bitching point, total lack of passion for anything. Completely apathetic. This is actually a huge turnoff for me. 5. If she wants to be a housewife, I'd have no problem with that, however... she is horrible with kids, can't cook, and is fairly lazy around the apartment. So much so that I end up doing most of the work, and it's pissing me off... she says she'd do things, but 2 weeks later they aren't done, so I just do them. She cleans up like once a month and uses that as an excuse not to clean the rest of the time... ugh. Minor thing, but it's getting on my nerves. We just 6 months in Europe (not in the same country) this year, and I was hoping things would be better when we came back... but they really aren't. I'm sure part of the problem is my attitude too... I used to care and try really hard to bring some passion to her life, but recently I said fuck it. If you don't want to deal with your issues, I won't force it. I don't know why I posted this, but it felt good. Thanks OT. /blog /wallof.txt did i mention she's letting herself go? it's not bad yet... but I have OT-high standards.