A few things have happened lately that are just aggrivating the shit out of me so i thought i would vent a little. 1. my music is getting fucking old to me. I can't figure out how to finish a fucking song lately. Nothing i write sounds good to me and i dont finish any of it. I want nothing more than to be involved in the music industry in some way but i can't fucking get this shit out of me! 2. I just broke up with my girlfriend not too long ago and I've been kind of seeing someone new.. sounds great right? yeah, well not when she's married. I know that I'm a fucking asshole but I can't cut it off... I can't even explain it. I'm so infatuated with this girl that i can't control myself. Most of it is that i dont want to stop. She's everything that I've ever looked for in a woman. Everything. minus being married. haha. I know what everyone is going to say about this... and I frankly dont care so you can save your fingers if you'd like. I know I'm a prick. It's eating me up, but i can't stop it and frankly dont really want to. 3. I'm tired of my life. not suicidal, but just fucking bored... I've done about all i can do where I'm currently at. I make more money than i can manage. I have people that care about me all over the fucking place and it doent satisfy me. I'm a prick, i know. I guess what it boils down to is that i can't get any satisfaction out of my life because I'm never satisfied with anything that i do or accomplish and that makes me want to sit there and do nothing with myself. I mean what the fuck is the point. I'm lonely in that i dont feel like anyone understands how I'm feeling and i can't explain it to anyone because it sounds like I'm bitching about great things. Things i should be happy about (which i suppose is true)... but if that's the case... WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT HAPPY!? If i step back and think about it i should be extremely grateful about everything that i have... but the thing is that I've come from nothing... became what i wanted, then crashed back to nothing... and now, I've acheived everything that i want again.. It's almost too fucking easy. There's no challenge in life and frankly I'm bored with the fucking game. I've seriously considered selling all my assets and traveling, writing music, and taking photos. The only thing stopping me is that it would hurt everyone i love. blah blah blah fuck life... /rant.