birth control is not 100%

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CaliHaze, Mar 6, 2006.

  1. CaliHaze

    CaliHaze New Member

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    a little story for everyone.

    i had been sleeping with this girl for about 5 weeks. we had sex a total of maybe 15 times. we used condoms about 3-4 times, but then stoped because she is was on orthro-evra, aka the patch. i get a call from her one night, she tells me that she is pregnant. she took two otc tests and they both came back positive. she tells me that she is unsure what she wants to do right now. she is 24, has her own job, and is financially and mentally capable of having a child at this time in her life. hearing the news, i pretty much go into shock and tell her we should meet up the next day to talk things over. she says that is a good idea, and that she has a doctor's appointment in two days. i told her i believe strictly in a woman's right to choose, and i will support her as best i can, whatever her decision.

    the amount of stress that i was feeling was unbelievable. i can't sleep, can't think straight. i only have a 2 close friends i can really talk to about this. i cannot even begin to imagine what kind of pain she was going through. i am only 22 years old. was i really ready to be a dad? i don't even know where i will be in a year, i dont want to be absent for my first child's life. all these crazy thoughts going through my head. we just started seeing each other, i barely know this girl. we have this situation to deal with, the life of another person in our hands.

    so i meet up with her to talk. i am relieved to hear that she thinks abortion is the best option. it also made me sad to think that i will never get to know this person which i helped create. she claims she was using the patch correctly, so i am not sure if we are both just extremely fertile. i didn't want to press the issue too much, because we had more important things to talk about. we both agree that we should work on getting to know each other as friends instead of just getting together to have sex.

    she goes in the next day to have the abortion done. it was still within the first 8 weeks, so she opted for the pill method. Basically she takes a pill which kills the fetus. later, she places another pill inside of her to make her have a miscarriage. just thinking about such a thing made me sick to myself, how can she be dealing with all this. she had to get an ultrasound done to verify the pregnancy, that must have been the worst part. basically everything goes well at the doctors, and she goes home to recover.

    so that weekend, i went to her house and took care of her. she had a lot of cramps, and was pretty weak from all the pain pills they gave her. we got some good time to get to know each other better. and it made me feel good that i could help her get through all this as much as i can.

    so lesson learned, dont think that birth control is always 100% effective. i was that .07% or whatever, and it made my life hell. i never want to be put in this situation again without being prepared to handle it.

    use multiple methods of birth control until you both know each other well enough to deal with the consequences of sex such as pregnancy and STD's.
     
  2. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    thats why there is no sex for me, not ready for the kiddies. Though I am not a fan of what her choice was you both are going to have to deal with that for the rest of your lives. I hope you both have learned your lesson.
     
  3. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    The only 100% method of BC is no sex at all.


    Shit happens, thats why they make those abortion pills.

    I love is when anti-abortion people say
    Like its a big deal. Remember, people see shit differently. I could kill a baby every day of my life and not think a bad thing of it.

    Good to hear you were both mature enough to talk things over and get done what needed to be. No sense in bringing a baby into the world that isnt wanted...there are pleanty of those already.

    Don't fret about it too much. A few years from now it will mearly be a memory, neither good or bad. Just another part of life.
     
  4. chackrafool

    chackrafool New Member

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    So you didn't find out if she was using it correctly? I'd like to know how she was using it. Maybe she didnt' wait long enough after she put it on, I think two weeks is the minimum but the suggested time is a month.
     
  5. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    You should try reading about it sometime before you give advice. ;)
    Taken from: http://www.orthoevra.com/html/pevr/faq.jsp;jsessionid=5JAUPEFEQ3U4ACQPCCEDC0YKB2IIWNSC?

    How long do I need to wear the birth control patch before I am protected from pregnancy?
    Follow the instructions below to see if or how long you need to use backup contraception, such as a condom, spermicide or a diaphragm.

    First Day Start: Apply your first patch during the first 24 hours of your period, which will be considered your "Patch Change Day." If the Patch is not applied within the first 24 hours of your period, you must use backup contraception, such as a condom, spermicide or a diaphragm, for the first week of patch use.

    Sunday Start: Apply your first patch on the first Sunday after your menstrual period starts—this will be your "Patch Change Day." You must use backup contraception, such as a condom, spermicide or a diaphragm, for the first week of your first cycle. If your period starts on a Sunday, you should start the Patch the same day, and non-hormonal backup contraception is not needed.


    Maybe I'm just a little bit cranky today... but anybody who thinks that Birth Control is 100% is a fucking tool who doesn't belong having sex.
     
  6. chackrafool

    chackrafool New Member

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    Yea, I know, i've read the online directions before bro....I wasn't giving advice. My questions were about when HIS girlfriend (assuming) put the patch on, I want those details, not what you read on the internet.
     
  7. CaliHaze

    CaliHaze New Member

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    i just wanted to post this story because it seems like a lot of people around here ask questions about "omg, we did this and this, can i really be pregnant" the answer is YES anytime bodily fluids are excahanged. i was careless and had to deal with a situation i wasn't ready for.

    i get the impression that she had been on the patch for a while. when i asked her if she had been applying it correctly, she assured me yes she knew what she was doing.

    yes, i took the time to read the orthovra website myself. one thing i realized is that if you are on anti-biotics, it can lower the effectiveness of the BC, so you have to be extra careful if u are on those meds.

    the worst thing to me about all this has really screwed up our relationship. what started off just as causal fun turned into a crisis, but will obviously have a lasting effect.

    i really care about this girl, but we both have taken a couple of steps back. i've tried to be supportive, but i feel like she is pushing me away, so i'm just giving her some space right now to figure things out. i want to spend time with her, but with our busy work schedules and the fact she lives over an hour away limits our ability to see each other.
     
  8. chackrafool

    chackrafool New Member

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    Yea there are a number of things that can affect it, including bodyweight. Glad it turned out ok for you :hs:
     
  9. socosurf4

    socosurf4 New Member

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    tip for everyone, IF YOUR GIRL IS DRUNK AND ON BIRTH CONTROL, THAT SHIT WILL NOT WORK!!! trust me, it was a horrible experience. but i guess an experience i had to learn.

    Birth control apparently doesnt work right when alcohol is present in body. not fun.
     
  10. CPTLA885

    CPTLA885 Guest

    :ugh:

    Sorry bro, not everyone decides to hold off on sex. "Learned their lesson"? :ugh:

    They were using birth control, it failed. This would be considered a fluke.
     
  11. socosurf4

    socosurf4 New Member

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    i didnt rape her or anything, i menat like me and my gf were both drunk. and had sex. and the BC didnt work :(
     
  12. CaliHaze

    CaliHaze New Member

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    where did you hear this information from besides personal experience? i wonder if a study has been done about this.

    alcohol can defiantly affect one's ability to make good decisions, but i hope your birth control would still be effective whn your drunk as a lot more girls would seem to be in trouble.
     
  13. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Everyone should know that birth control is not 100%. Knowing that, you should know that there ARE unintended pregnancies due to the failure rate of birth control. Those pregnancies are hardly a 'fluke', but a fact of life.
    Every man should know what type of birth control the woman he is sleeping with is using. Every man should understand that nothing short of abstinence is foolproof. Every man should know how the woman he is sleeping with feels about pregnancy, abortion and children. There is simply no excuse not to.
     
  14. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    DON'T GIVE ADVICE ON SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT! :squint:

    A simple Google search brings up many sites that say exactly the opposite.
    If you want the truth, call your doctor. They will be able to tell you.
    http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1789.html
    Dear Alice,

    My girlfriend recently began taking the pill. I heard from a friend that alcohol can decrease the effectiveness of this method of birth control even if she is completely responsible about it.
    Dear Reader,

    Studies have shown that alcohol does not decrease the effectiveness of birth control pills.
    Conversely, studies have shown that taking the birth control pill affects the way women's bodies process alcohol, leading to higher blood alcohol concentrations (BAC) and intensifying the effects of intoxication.
    While alcohol has no direct effect on the birth control pill's ability to prevent pregnancy, drinking it can indirectly decrease the pill's effectiveness if it interferes with a woman's ability to take the pill at approximately the same time each day or if it causes her to throw-up shortly after taking the pill. In general, alcohol can impair one's ability to act prudently, be that responsibly taking daily medication such as the birth control pill, using a condom to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs), or choosing with whom and in what ways to become intimate. Alice
     
  15. CPTLA885

    CPTLA885 Guest

    Preaching to the quire?

    I was referring to the other poster; he was castigating the threadstarter.. And yes, birth control failed, it was a fluke...
     
  16. CaliHaze

    CaliHaze New Member

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    well i am glad to hear i'm not the first person this has happened to. this has really opened my eyes to the dangers of unproctected sex though. i've always hated condoms. even though im monogomous with almost every girl i sleep with, i won't be able to ever trust birth control ever again.

    everyone knows the dangers of unproctected sex, but very few bother to take them seriously until something bad happens to them. that's why i shared my story, and i hope others will learn from it.

    for those guys who have been confronted with a similar situation before, how is your relationship now after all the dust settled?
     
  17. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    staying a virgin until ur ready for kids doesn't mean much until a crisis like this......
     
  18. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    Wow I'm impressed you have no soul or thread of humanity in you. Your right I am an anti abortion, as long as it doesnt threaten physically the life of the mother and rape. This is neither case as it appears to be. Its about time people learned to deal with consequences of their actions. Oops im pregnant I didnt plan on it is not reason to run out and decide to get on abortion. Deal with it, she was stupid enough to be unmarried (more than likely) and open her legs for dick, under the influence or not.

    As a side note: I love how they call "planned" parenthood, planned parenthood when you can go and get the morning after pill. Great logic in that.
    /hijack
     
  19. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    The logic in it IS planning when you become a parent. You can do so through birth control, the MAP, abortion etc.
    BTW, the way it sounds is if you think married women don't have abortions, or that women have abortions on a whim basically. Not true at all.
    Chances are you've never been nor will you ever be in the shoes of a pregnant woman who does not want to be pregnant. Until then you have absolutely nothing to say about it, and even then you can only control your own body and pregnancy. edit: I just realized you were a chick.
    It's not your choice, it's mine.
    Children should *NOT* be consequences to be dealt with, like a jail sentence or a fine. Raising a child or making the decision to continue an unplanned pregnancy is not one that should be taken lightly, nor should anyone feel forced into doing so just to 'take responsibility'. Sometimes abortion can be the most responsible thing ;)
    'Cold' as it may be, what RvB said was absolutely true.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2006
  20. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    I would love to have children, I think they are great, being pregnant is a great thing. But I want them when I am "ready" to have them, which is not anywhere near right now in my life. I will try my damnest not to be pregnant and not want to be. I have seen alot people around me go through that. (I live in one of those places where either you complete hs or you get pregnant and drop out) If anything it has made my resolve stronger to not be in that situation.

    I know married women have abortions it still doesnt make it any better. There are other options than abortion. The decision is not made on a whim I know I watched my best friend go through it. It is ultimately the mother to be's choice of what to do. They can make that choice and do but that by no means I have to agree with it.
     
  21. Milin

    Milin It's Terminal.

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    if she was on BC and foudn out she was pregnant theres a good chance that the baby would have had horrible birth defects.

    A guy I know has no fingernails among other strange problems because his mom was on BC for a short time while she was pregnant. It's pretty obvious something is wrong with his body.
     
  22. orie

    orie social assassin

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    :ugh:
     
  23. orie

    orie social assassin

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    shut up
     
  24. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    the term is preaching to the choir... not to get off subject, but i'm anal-retentive about people getting their apothegm's correct.
     
  25. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    That's fine, because it truly isn't any of your business ;)
     

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