SRS BiPolar?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tubachris85x, Aug 25, 2007.

  1. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Feel weird for posting here, but I am getting somewhat concerned..

    Backround: When I was younger, from around 3rd to just around 7th, I have always had a serious anger issue, stemming from insults and being bullied, the typical stuff. I would just sit there and take it, until I just got so angry from it, that I would go almost on a rampage, or just really try to kick who's ever ass it was pissing me off. I was taken to school counselors and that kind of thing, and I honestly did learn how to control my anger. Just as an example of how controled I was, the 2nd to last day in 8th grade, in PE, about 12 kids started throwing basketballs at me in a very violent manner, and led to them coming at me with punches, kicks, etc. One kid jumped on my back, and wrapped his arm trying to choke me, at that point gave him a black eye, but that was it. For reference, I was 6'5 tall at the time. I held my ground but did not retaliate at all.

    Now: Ive learned to control myself, Im no longer a violent person, Ive taken up martial arts, I was in the seacadets for 7 years, and these have really helped me. Ive noticed that I now have an issue of bottleing up anger and not even really realizing it. For the past few weeks, Ive become more short with people for reasons I cant explain. My relationship with my GF is being affected too.

    When I do get angry now, Im not the rampaging moron I used to be, but I just talk meaner, but I dont curse for some reason :hsugh: The worst part is, I wont even realize what Im doing or what I did until after. The other night, I did realize at one point, but I just couldnt stop it. It really scares me, becuase Ive never been like this before, and Im terrified, because this can end my relationship if I cant figure this out and fix it.

    Could it be a mild form of being bipolar? Thanks
     
  2. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    No that is not bipolar at all. Bipolar means that you have extreme highs and lows that you can't control. A bipolar person will spend hours or even days being extremely depressed and not wanting to do anything. When they are in the manic state they will have more extreme behaviors such as going out and blowing money they don't have, sleeping around a lot, getting into fights, etc.

    What you are describing is an inability to deal with your anger. You need to find a healthy way to release that anger without hurting people you care about. Things like martial arts and going to the gym are good for that. Or you could try just sitting down and writing/typing everything you are feeling when you are upset to help you deal with the feelings. Or maybe you'd prefer to talk to someone about what's bothering you. Either way you just need to find some constructive way to deal with the anger. If you are acting like an ass to people then you need to remove yourself from them until you feel better. If you don't notice when you get upset then ask your gf or a good friend to let you know when you are acting like that so you can deal with it without hurting the people you care about.
     
  3. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I understand what your saying. I just was never like this before. I dont want to make excuses for it either, but could this be something that has resulted from me holding back my anger since then?
     
  4. Terra Matris

    Terra Matris Guest

    Again my advice is to seek the help of a good counselor; yet my son has the same problem.

    The issue to is to find closure or resolution for the issues at the time that they are bothering you, and not let them bottle up. It is this type of internalization that may be bring out this new personality - it is at least for my son.
     
  5. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Im sure its not bad enough that I need to talk to a counselor, but at the same time, its something I need to fix myself. I just rememberd, awhile back, I had this issue, but it only lasted like 2 months, because I had a long period of time when I wasnt training in martial arts, nor anything for my navy program, I was exactly as I am now, I have nothing to help me control it as those things have.

    My system of martial arts does not extend beyond from where I lived before moving for college, but I know there is a kempo dojo nearby, and I think I should get myself into that. And even if im wrong about it, at least its something.
     
  6. Guerilla Grower

    Guerilla Grower New Member

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    Sounds like you don't have the usual outlets that you've had before, just do as you said and find something to get yourself into to releave your anger. All too offen we think we can work things out for ourselves, but in reality it really helps to have someone else look at the situation and work it out with you.
     
  7. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I think you nailed it. I should in the meantime practice what Ive learned, it might help. Cant start Kempo just yet because of the college financial situations im sure most relate too. Thanks guys
     
  8. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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  9. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Im at a total loss right now.

    Im really starting to consider professional help for this. Its tearing at my personal relationship like crazy and im too fucking scared to keep up with the guess work. I am so thankful for her, because shes willing to fight for us and help me as much as possible, but shes getting tired of it, and it is imparative that I solve this before its too late. I dont know where to start with this, I dont know who to go to, or if there is even anyone. God I feel like a nut case
     
  10. scarletbegonia

    scarletbegonia New Member

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    Counselors and psychs really can help. A lot of people think they don't need to see one because their problem isn't that big but that can be pretty destructive too. Big problems usually build up from smaller ones so it's best to deal with the ones you have now before they evolve. The US seems to put a negative connotation on getting therapy and seem to think it's only for crazy people. That's a lot different in a lot of places though.. like Argentina, for example, over 60% of the population goes to therapy for one reason or another. Some just go as a way to relax because it helps clear your mind and focus on what you need to do to make things better. I understand that money can be an issue with the therapy prices but you can usually find good psychs that your insurance can cover the majority of.
     
  11. Got Me SOM

    Got Me SOM I'd win

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    absolutely. you just need anger management and you need to talk about what happened to you during childhood so you can release that emotion and feel at peace.
     
  12. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    You have anger management problems, not bipolar disorder.

    major difference.

    Counseling could be very helpful.. need to channel your anger better.

    I got major anger management problems. I'm usually a mellow guy but man, do NOT fuck with me.

    Lady ran me off the road, literally, when we were merging onto an expressway. I knew she was going to do it and had my horn on the entire time.

    So she naturally does not stop. We hit a stoplight (it's a fucked up road.. needs to be upgraded) and I step out of my car and start calling her stupid ass out.

    bright idea? not a chance. i would have fucking killed her if she stepped out though.

    yeah it sucks :sad2:

    last (only) time I was ever arrested was for straight decking a guy outside of a bar when I lived in San Francisco. I was drunk.. dude bumped into me, I didn't make a deal out of it and he said something and I said "fuck you, you douchebag" he said "what fool?" so I just fucking decked him... 15 feet from the cops when his girl was screaming they looked over.

    oops. Oh well... everything was dropped :)
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I find this interesting considering you just wrote a thread saying you were worried for her because her father was verbally abusive...Yet now you are saying your actions are affecting your relationship because you most likely have outburts....

    Either way, go to the doctor.
     
  14. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    This was an older thread, before I posted about the father issue. Im more afraid of the father taking it too far and physically striking her or go on a rampage beating her and her family up just because he's drunk off his sorry ass. When I get as you called "outbursts," dont imagine me yelling at the top of my lungs, screaming with foam comming out of my mouth. I just get mean, nothing more than that, and I get caught up in just arguing.

    Ive recently have been watching myself and its working. I was able to go out today and sparr with one of my room mates, and met the next door neighbors, and was even teaching them some martial arts stuff.
    Where it was happening almost everyday last week, it has completly stoped and everything has been resolved.

    Now Im not saying that im "never" going to get like this again, its just Im starting to keep enough self-discipline to not get like that. The other day, my gf complemented me because of the fact that I had completly stoped it since then.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Actually, you should look into Tae Kwon Do classes. It's an excellent way to not only learn self discipline, but an extremely good way to let off some steam. I didn't do it for those reasons persay, but it did help me out a lot because my problem used to be not showing my anger and letting it boil inside of me.
     

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