May I pick your brains for a bit? I've been doing a bit of reading and am finding through my own research that I seem to fall under quite a list of manic/bipolar2 symptoms. I've already gone the psychiatrist route and all that got me was a doctor that shoved ritalin and prozac at me faster than I could chew it all down. when it only helped with some things, she'd just up the doses. at one point, i was taking 80mg prozac twice a day on top of 20mg ritalin twice a day with little improvement. I have since dropped the doctor AND the prescriptions (cold turkey ) and am seeking self-treatment due to, in no better words, being poor as shit with no medical insurance. The hardest things I am facing at this point are: listlessness- i feel as though I have NO energy whatsoever even though I make an effort to exercise. I can literally sleep all night, get up, eat, go back to sleep and sleep all day. My dauly activities are affected by this and i know that I look like i'm just incredibly lazy to the outside eye, yet I have a huge to-do list in my mind and yearn to check things off. procrastination is a huge issue. This is really a huge issue due to the fact that I WANT/NEED a job but couldn't handle it like this. how incredibly easy it is to provoke me. My 13 y/o stepdaughter has found some form of amusement in seeing how quickly she can intice me into an uproar by nitpicking every syllable that escapes my lips. I don't intend on fighting or arguing, but it's like I start with "no, that's not what I said" and it ends with one of us either furious or crying- OR BOTH! And it happens in RECORD quickness... sometimes just a matter of minutes. and worst of all, impulse behavior. Not money spending neccesarily, but simply the inability to think things through before i act. I make decisions that "seem" ok at the time, but end up absolutely horrible in the end. I wont get into details but i have within the last year made decisions that not only risked my marriage, but my life. Had I taken 2 minutes to think it through, I would NEVER in a million years do these things, but i tend to gravitate to them for the pure stimulation of it. (regardless of what it may be, something as small as speeding all the way up to something as big as drugs) The smaller list includes anxiety, panick attacks, generalized depression, moodiness/mood swings/irritability etc. The most frustrating part about all of this is that while some of the symptoms were always there but never diagnosed/acknowledged by my doctors, some of these things (and moreso the SEVERITY of them) didn't manifest until i was in my early-mid 20's- I'm only 27 now. i think that I am going to tackle this on a large scale by behavior modification therapy, but am not quite sure how to keep myself in check with this system. Furthermore, I need to figure out how to at least quelch the BIG things so that i can focus on the whole of the problem AND all of its parts. any advice appreciated, although "go get diagnosed by a good doctor" will likely go in one ear and out the other- on purpose.