SRS Bipolar issues...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Savage, Jun 14, 2005.

  1. Savage

    Savage New Member

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    I need help. I am almost 25, and it looks like mental illness is really starting to take a hold of my mind. I can't begin to explain the amount of fear I have regarding this issue. I have a ton going for me in life, and I am a very motivated and goal driven individual. Unfortunately, I'm at the point where that doesn't matter.

    I have always been borderline, but my lows weren't that bad and I actually enjoyed my hypomanic episodes as they gave me that great feeling of super-confidence and invincibility without getting to the point where I made poor judgements or took serious risks.

    However, I had a very severe episode at the beginning of April where I lost all touch with reality for a weekend. It left my sense of perception shattered, and I spent the following months trying to put myself back together. I thought I was doing well up until this past weekend, when I completely lost it all again. And this time was bad. I just spent the last 3 hours feeling heavily suicidal. Not planning it or just thinking about it, which I know I can fight off. But instead being driven completely by spontaneous impulses, which scares the hell out of me.

    I'm feeling a little better at the moment, but now I know this probably isn't just going to go away. I am so very scared right now of everything, but I know I need to see someone. So what do I do? I have health insurance and I assume that this is covered. Do I make an appointment with my regular physician and have him recommend someone? What do I look for in a possible psychiatrist? I've been doing research and have heard about some flawed diagnoses that have fucked people up even more with wrong medication, etc. What are some of your personal experiences?

    Thanks for any help.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I found a site for you.

    http://www.bipolar.com/living/finder.htm

    Im not even going to begin making a disclosure of what could be wrong with you, on the page i linked i hope you will find a psychiatrist/specialized in bi-polar issues , do not hesitate to go to the specialist, because you (as you say) are on the border, and in my opinion went 'over the border' with your latest mood swing to a point that it became life-threatening, and that's always a que for me to re-direct you immediatly to a specialist. GO, and save what is left of you. Don't worry about the medicines that could possibly screw your mind, your mind is already in a deteriorating state of being , the psychiatrist is vohemently trained in analyzing what could be wrong with you, if you state your bi-polar history and tell him what has been going on, and if he could asses, and recommend treatment, that would be a start. IF not satisfactory you can always change, so don't worry and go meet your pshychiater.
     
  3. Savage

    Savage New Member

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    Thanks. I checked that out, and found a couple of local specialists. I'm going to contact my doctor tomorrow and go from there. Since I wrote the first post a couple hours ago, I have balanced out quite a bit. I'm hoping I'll be able to get a good night's sleep tonight. :hs:
     
  4. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    by law, serious mental disorders (bipolar and schitzo are what are typically considered to be as such) so they are treated like any other illness physical or mental.

    Basically the order of the docs will be the family doc/PCP OR, if your insurance allows it, just start calling psychatrists and they can set you up with an appt.

    I can't say if you're bipolar or not, but I would get help real, real fast.. I was dx'd a year ago and while it's been quite a ride, at least i got shit under control... just tell us how it goes..

    take care.
     
  5. Savage

    Savage New Member

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    Well, I saw a psychiatrist today, and pretty much spilled my guts to him as much as possible. He doesn't think I have a serious permanent disorder, but he does think I have a very severe case of depression. Severe enough to bring up the possibility of being committed for a short while if things become too much to handle. This frightened me, obviously.

    He also prescribed some meds. Effexor for the depression, and Lorazepam (sp? on both) for the anxiety attacks. I did some research and the side effects for the Effexor looked shitty, to say the least. One place I read about it said that there's a possibility of becoming permanently hooked on it! Wtf? So I am very apprehensive about this as well.

    I don't know what to do. I feel "ok" at the moment. I spent most of the day depressed, but now seem to be in a bit of a hypomanic state (although one could make the argument that this is my "normal" state). If I am bipolar, I read that Effexor is not a good drug to take, but the doctor prescribed it, so...I take it anyway? Fuck, this is hard. I just want good things to make me happy, and bad things to make me sad, and feel fine in between.

    I guess I'm just gonna start taking the pills tomorrow morning.
     
  6. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    well Effexor isn't bad per say, but here's what you need to watch out for. If you are indeed bipolar, it'll possibly make you manic (ie, the opposite of depressed, really excited etc if you're not familiar with the term).

    Prozac.. Celexa (all SSRI's in the same class as Effexor) did that to me, which eventually lead to my solid BP dx. I'm currently on a mood stabilizer (Lamictal) which helps keep stuff in check there. I also take Strattera, which is approved for ADHD but has SSRI qualities (its really an SNRI, multiple receptors) so that helps keep the depression at bay. Plus, it's least likely to make a BP person manic as well which is nice.

    Doc should have explained the SSRI mania risk with you and that you really do need to pay attention to it. Otherwise you can get yourself into a world of trouble.. I almost bought airline tix... to go snowboarding... in chile... in july so yeah.. it'll indeed give you the grandiose ideas and actions that the books talk about.

    Problem with Effexor persay is the withdrawal.. DO NOT STOP IT ABRUPTLY.. you'll get a major case of SSRI Syndrome (do a websearch, it really exists) moreso than any other SSRI on the market here in the states. While you should never stop a med cold unless you're on a small dosage, it's EXTREMELY important with Effexor.

    Don't know what else can I add... you may or may not see an improvement soon.. some SSRIs (namely Prozac) can work real quick.. others may not work at all. There are a ton of SSRIs out there since it's not a one-size-fits-all world, just try them one at a time. Prozac worked for me fine (and is actually making another comeback in the psych circles).

    Hospitalization will be hit or miss really... I mean, I've met people who've benefitted from it well but they were in for a few weeks. I've never been in so I don't have any personal experience but if you're really freaking out and the lorazapam (ativan is the brand name, which I also have an rx for) doesn't work and you may do something dangerous.. then call your doc ASAP or go to the ER.

    I also suggest you go to the library and get some books on BP/Depression.. the more you know, the more you can work with your docs to defeat the symtoms.

    PM me if you like.. i'm bipolar and pride myself on my knowledge of it. I go into docs offices informed and know what they're tellin me.

    take care man.
     
  7. I have Bipolar disease [secondary to Chronic Lyme] and I use Welbutrin, and Lamictal. My psychiatrist prescribed them after careful discussion regarding our plan of attack. Apparently these two combinations are very good. I'm showing improvements very quickly on this combination. It's been about a month on Welbutrin, and 1 week on the Lamictal. The Lamictal is a mood stabilizer and helps prevent the fluctuations of mood, while the Welbutrin targets a secondary component of the depression.

    I also do Psychotherapy, and analysis with my counselor once per week.
     
  8. Savage

    Savage New Member

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    I will keep an eye on the possiblity of mania. Civic, how far into your depression medication were you when it caused the mania to really hit you? Just for a timeline reference I can keep an eye out for.
     
  9. Some of the medications, like Welbutrin can cause mania to increase, thus the stabilizer is needed. But I had mania prior too. I really can't answer beyond that.
     
  10. Savage

    Savage New Member

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    It's kinda hard for me to tell if I've been manic or it's just me. I do have somewhat grandiose ideas, but they are logical, and I follow them through. I have big career plans, and make very large goals for myself, but these are not spur of the moment impulses, and are not illogical endeavors. They are things like putting myself through college and coming out with no debt on the other side, or making big leaps in my career, etc. I guess you have to draw a line between manic and motivated, and I don't know exactly where that line is yet.
     
  11. Sometimes both can come together. I too think much like you on the "career" issues. Sometimes it's rooted in reality, and sometimes it's a bit much.

    -- Mike
     
  12. Savage

    Savage New Member

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    Guess we'll find out :hs:
     
  13. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    A kid from my highschool killed himself in October because of Bipolar disease. He hung himself :( i guess all i could say is get help before it's too late? :hs:
     
  14. Savage

    Savage New Member

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    I'm on day three of the medication, and already I can feel a positive difference. I'm very wary of it being temporary, but I enjoyed not being paranoid about everything today. I have my second meeting with the shrink tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.
     
  15. I think you'll find it's useful, but within the first few days I actually had more anxiety and feelings of discomfort. Each of us is different though, but within the upcoming weeks you'll know for certain.
     

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